“The Great Eternal Leader has blessed this day with his many healthy orchards.”
~All who celebrate eternal blessed leader Kim Il-Sung shall sing his praises to the afterlife!
Greetings all who embrace Best Korea and fight to expel the imperialist oppression from nations whose false ideals once did shed sadness into the heart of Great Leader Kim Jong-Il, and continue to sadden Great Successor Kim Jong-un, who just on this day carried ten thousand pounds of strawberries from his personal orchard to ease the suffering of his citizens. As clouds parted and sunshine appeared, great jubilation came forth from these poor peasants, and the Song of remembrance for Great Leader Kim Jong-Il rang into to heavens, causing the sky to smile upon Best Korea and send Earthquakes to our oppressive neighbors to the south. The strawberries, planted by the very hand of the Great Successor himself, made all that consumed it vibrant, and Great Successor gave them all the finest clothing in Best Korea. Look to below and see the happy citizens!
Yes, today is a great day for living in Best Korea, where waters are plentiful and food contains little-to-no worms! As the South Korea imperialist puppet attends economic conferences, sharing hedonistic sex kisses with the Western imperialist dogs, the heavens shine upon Best Korea and all statues of Great Leader, Kim Jong-Il, who never let the Best Korean go hungry with his plentiful wisdom and wide fields of grains, and for whom our tears shed daily out of grief for Great Leader and not for our wretched family members who dared not shed tears in Great Leader’s memory! Our mighty armies will crush all oppressors!
“Tee hee, we laugh at the mighty losses our enemies will face against our invincible armies!”
On this glorious day, we will reward all true citizens of Best Korea with a story on what occurred mere hours ago, by the very ample, informed, and in no way powerless puppet Great Successor. On this day the weather in Best Korea is always sunny and 25 Celsius, while the Southern puppet nation only sees tsunamis and tornadoes for Great Successor, Great Leader and Exalted Eternal Leader do not smile upon its dark imperialistic rat-like ways. Great Successor awoke, and after shedding appropriate number of sincere tears for the memory of Great Leader, played 18 holes of golf, receiving eighteen holes in one for exalted glory! Light shone from his fingers and no child in Best Korea ever suffers from illness!
“Yes, you too have seen the exalted leader’s magnificence! I will now go to Great Korea assistance community of manual employment for possessing contraband, imperialist technologies! Glory to Best Korea and Great Leader!”
Great Successor then went to the shrine of the Eternal Leader, Kim Il-Sung, and from the ground grew bread for every Best Korean, and Great Successor Kim Jung-un did bring forth a shield of protection to repel the lies of the swinedog puppet South Korean lapdogs! All in the land, the Song of Kim Il-Sung resonated in the skies, and the rain that fell, and only the crops were wet, and all the garments of Best Korea stayed dry and in no way spoiled by famine or disease! Glory unto Eternal leader, who smiles at each launched missile that will someday crush the capitalistic oppressors!
“I am only saddened that I cannot die a thousand times over to destroy the Imperialist swine!”
Today the Great Successor will perform a million pushups to maintain his perfectly healthy weight and figure, and in doing so, the ground will receive his blessed weight and reward Best Korea with crops so that they will never suffer or desire to leave to China, and all Imperialist monuments will collapse under the weight of their own hypocrisy!
“Our thunderous applause shall be rewarded a thousand times over by the nurturing care of Great Leader, who shall give each citizen home and oxen!”
Now, as Great Successor has decreed, now we shall sing the song of Best Korea might! For Victory!
All of Best Korea will stand in line
Pleasure is Great Successor’s to give at all times!
Rally for Great Leader, for whom we cry,
Imperialist shall be slaughtered just like swine!
Lasting glory unto Korea Best!
Feasts for all of Great Successor’s people
Omnipotent Great Successor laughs at Southern puppet, feeble
Onwards to continue the Glory of nation’s rest
Lasting glory unto Korea Best!
So we shout, so everyone, can give all our love to Kim Jung-un!