Tag Archives: Unicorns

The Weirdest Official National Animals in the World: Mythical Creatures Edition (Part 1)

“What…Am…I?”

~The National Animal of Bhutan

emblem

If you’re an independent nation, there’s a good chance you have a national animal of some sort. In fact, of all the official countries in the world, almost ¾ of them do. We don’t have a really good reason why that’s the case. In fact it’s kind of weird that a bunch of countries randomly decided to give themselves mascots without anyone questioning as to…what’s the point? We’re sure some country started doing it like thousands of years ago (honestly, probably China?) and a few other independently decided to go the same route, and eventually most countries just got peer pressured into it, but it’s kind of weird that we take national animals as just like, a normal thing for countries to have.

Now America has a few national animals, and we’re not alone in being countries that double down. Naturally we have the bald eagle, but did you know that we also named the American bison our “national mammal”? Yeah that’s right, we have a national mammal. Now, that’s only been the case since it was signed into law in 2016, but still, we do now have two animals. And that being said, neither of these options are bad. Bald eagles are badass, and look badass, while bison have long played a historically significant role in many cultures throughout American history.

But as you might surmise, not every country can really lock in a good national animal like America. In fact, a lot of countries are represented by animals that are not only weird, they straight up don’t fucking exist. And not a single one of these fake animals is a warthog in an army uniform firing a bazooka, which is what we would have come up with if asked to make up a mythical creature to represent America.

You know the deal at this point. We found out that some countries are weird about an arbitrary thing, and we’re going to tell you all about the weirdness. And folks? There are a lot of official animals that straight up do not exist. So many that we’re going to split this sucker into two articles. Keep in mind, most of these creatures were invented about 300 years before we as a species really started getting good at “imagination” and it shows.

The Weirdest Official National Animals in the World: Mythical Creatures Edition (Part 1)

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Five Reasons Why No One Is Afraid Of North Korea

“Aw look, North Korea is threatening to nuke us.  That’s cute.”

~American Media

 kim jong-il

A lot of our readers were born in the late 1980s and 1990s have never lived in actual fear of nuclear weapons.  Sure, we’ve all seen the 1950s cartoons that say you can survive a nuclear blast if you hide under a desk and also are a turtle, but for those readers who didn’t live through the 50s, 60s, 70s, and early chunk of the 80s, the concept of “actively fearing nuclear annihilation” seems less like “real life” and more like “Wow, 24 finally jumped the shark didn’t they.”

Of course, for those of our readers that did live through that period…that was pretty freaky, right?  Shit almost got real a few times there.  While not exactly paralyzing America with fear, the nuclear threat was always in the back of our minds.  Russia was a powerful and terrifying foe, and they really didn’t like us.  They only reason they didn’t slaughter us outright is that they knew we’d probably do the same in kind, and even with that mutually assured destruction in place, they were still considering it.

This is relevant because, for the first time in decades, America has actively been threatened with nuclear attack.  As in, “the moment of explosion is approaching fast” and “we have actually approved the use of nuclear weapons against your country.”  And no one gives a shit.  We’re literally talking “page four news.”  Why?

Because it’s North Korea, and North Korea is a bunch of clowns.  Does that sound a bit harsh?  Yes.  Are we a little pissed off at their hijacking of our website last week?  Well, sure.  But there are also numerous well documented reasons why no one is scared of North Korea.  Don’t believe us?  Here are five, just off the top of our head.

Five Reasons Why No One Is Afraid Of North Korea

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