Category Archives: Every Fictional President in Film History: Ranked

Every Fictional President in Film History: Ranked (#10-1—Our Greatest Fictional Presidents)

“Get off my plane.”

~Come On, You’ve Been Waiting For This Moment

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We’re finally there, everyone. It’s been weeks, months (not months), years even (no, not years, stop it), and we’ve posted 14 previous articles, all of which dare to ask “what if we were to tell you who is the best President, among Presidents who are not real?” and we did it. We really did it. We melted our minds in the process, but it’s done, and here is the one list you were truly waiting for. The 10 best fictional Presidents in film history. Are you ready? We’ve been ready every since we started this crazy thing. Thanks for humoring us. Here are your best Presidents.

Every Fictional President in Film History: Ranked (#10-1—Our Greatest Fictional Presidents)

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Every Fictional President in Film History: Ranked (#20-11—The World Savers)

“Yeah I’m mad I made it this high too.”

~Kevin James in Pixels

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We’ve done this 13 times already, so what’s one more? You are mired, trapped even, in a series of articles where we take every single President who has ever appeared in a movie, remove all the real ones, and then mix up what we have left to determine who was the best and who was the worst in terms of overall job performance. It’s been forever. You’ve had major life events come and pass since we started this series. You’re almost free. We’re almost free. Let’s talk about some goddamn fake American heroes.

Every Fictional President in Film History: Ranked (#20-11—The World Savers)

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Every Fictional President in Film History: Ranked (#30-21—Fighters, Winners, and…Mike Brady?)

“Here’s a Story. Of a messed up movie. Where Mike Brady somehow became the President.”

~The Theme of The Brady Bunch in the White House, We Assume

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You have stuck with us for so long, and we’re honestly pretty impressed. When we decided we were going to rate every single fake President, we didn’t realize how much work it would be. It has been so much work. And we know it’s been a lot of work for you. But we’re almost there. We promise. Here are more Presidents, and holy shit, why is The Brady Bunch here?

Every Fictional President in Film History: Ranked (#30-21—Fighters, Winners, and…Mike Brady?)

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Every Fictional President in Film History: Ranked (#54-31—Doomed Heroes and General Good Guys)

“Apparently you don’t get dinged for having the world end on your watch if you die in the movie.”

~Danny Glover in 2012

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Are you tired of these intros yet? We’re kind of tired of these intros. This series has been going on every day for the past two and a half weeks, which is a lot. You’ve been like, “Where’s our AFFotD about beer? Or like, beer that’s made with chocolate? Or like, ‘Man, snickers are crazy, are there any weird flavors of snickers?’”

But instead you’ve had to go through just, list after list of President who has never even existed. We understand your pain, but we’re too far along to stop now. HERE ARE MORE PRESIDENTS! NONE OF THEM HAD ANY IMPACT ON HISTORY!

Every Fictional President in Film History: Ranked (#54-31—Doomed Heroes and General Good Guys)

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Every Fictional President in Film History: Ranked (#50-41—Strong During a Crisis)

“…You mean we have to watch Geostorm for this article?”

~AFFotD Staffers

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Welcome to a series of articles with so many entries that we’re not even bothering to count them. This is, what, the tenth one of these? That sounds right, ballpark at least? Anyway, we decided (thanks, Jack Daniels and a surprise divorce) that we should find every single fictional president who has been portrayed in a movie, and decide which one of those was the best at presidenting. And THEN we decided we should arbitrarily rank each president against each other, for reasons that don’t sound quite as compelling now that we’ve sobered up.

So if this is the first article in this series you’ve come across because you Googled “Gregory Peck President” then, well, we honestly don’t know if you are our prime demographic or not. Just keep in mind that all these fancy links at the beginning of this paragraphs link to previous entries to our latest series in which we, and maybe you already know where we’re going with this, because we literally just said it, rank every fictional movie President arbitrarily.

We’re now getting to our better fake Presidents, the ones who stand tall and stay strong, no matter how much things fall apart around them.

Every Fictional President in Film History: Ranked (#50-41—Strong During a Crisis)

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Every Fictional President in Film History: Ranked (#60-51—Presidential Dads! And Others!)

“Oh, did you include that movie First Kid

~Literally everyone’s first question when they heard about this series of articles

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Get excited, folks. We’re finally at the point in our listing of every fictional President where we can talk about the classic Sinbad film, First Kid. It’s moments like these that really make everything worthwhile. If you don’t know or care about First Kid, well tough shit, this isn’t about you. It’s about Presidents. Specifically, fictional Presidents from movies that we decided to exhaustively rank for some reason we no longer remember. Were we drunk? Sorry, silly question, we meant to ask if we were absinthe drunk. Because this whole article series feels like it would have wormwood to blame.

Every Fictional President in Film History: Ranked (#60-51—Presidential Dads! And Others!)

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Every Fictional President in Film History: Ranked (#70-61—Presidents Dealing With Conspiracies)

“I really don’t know why evil organizations want to kick me out of office…”

~The President in Like, 20 Different Movies

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We’re still smack dab in the mediocre President territory in our weird, pointless article series ranking every single fictional President. But now we are in the part of our list where just about every President finds himself amidst convoluted conspiracies, coups, and good old fashioned assassination attempts.

Listen, being a movie President is not an easy job, and these guy handled themselves just fine, given the circumstances. And for those of you getting antsy at the movies you don’t really care about on the list so far, don’t worry. Our next article has First Kid!

Every Fictional President in Film History: Ranked (#70-61—Presidents Dealing With Conspiracies)  

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Every Fictional President in Film History: Ranked (#80-71—Aggressively Neutral Presidents)

“Okay so this is the article I’m basically going to skim over in like 45 seconds? Gotcha.”

~You, the Reader

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While trying to rank every single President who has appeared in a film throughout the history of modern cinema, we’ve inelegantly lumped the Presidents into categories. They almost never worked. Our Disaster Presidents only included four or so Presidents who faced disasters, and our sleezy Presidents only had a few sketchy entries, and we’ve had a lot of really bad fake Presidents.

But this article is going to be the most accurate. These are all Presidents who are fine. You won’t walk away with strong feelings about their role as a leader, one way or the other. We know, we can just feel your excitement.

Every Fictional President in Film History: Ranked (#80-71—Aggressively Neutral Presidents)

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Every Fictional President in Film History: Ranked (#90-81—Not Bad, But Not Good, Just Kind of Sleezy)

“What’s wrong with having a hooker as a First Lady?”

~You, the Reader

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Do you know that we have to write fifteen different ways to introduce this series of articles that, if anything, will later be used as evidence for our staff’s eventual Obsessive Compulsion Disorder diagnosis. We dug up all 142 fictional Presidents who have ever made an appearance in a film, and if that wasn’t already exhausting for everyone involved, we decided to rank those Presidents and spread the whole thing out into 15 different articles.

You can see all the others by clicking the various links in this paragraph, and no, they’re not in order, because this process has driven us insane. Okay, all caught up? No? Too fucking bad, here are more Presidents.

Every Fictional President in Film History: Ranked (#90-81—Not Bad, But Not Good, Just Kind of Sleezy)

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Every Fictional President in Film History: Ranked (#100-91—A Lot of Dummies)

“If you make the President really dumb, that’s, like, a political statement, right?”

~Film Producers

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So far in our aggressively inclusive list of American Fictional Presidents, we’ve had a lot of Presidents who were bad for a variety of reasons. Some let a bunch of nukes fly, some literally ended the world, one was a goddamn werewolf, but all of them were bad or irresponsible in their own way. Not much is going to change with this lot, though the next ten fake Presidents will at least, by and large, manage to avoid blowing up the whole damn place. Anyway, here are more Presidents from movies we arbitrarily decided to rank.

Every Fictional President in Film History: Ranked (#100-91—A Lot of Dummies)

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