“I really don’t know why evil organizations want to kick me out of office…”
~The President in Like, 20 Different Movies
We’re still smack dab in the mediocre President territory in our weird, pointless article series ranking every single fictional President. But now we are in the part of our list where just about every President finds himself amidst convoluted conspiracies, coups, and good old fashioned assassination attempts.
Listen, being a movie President is not an easy job, and these guy handled themselves just fine, given the circumstances. And for those of you getting antsy at the movies you don’t really care about on the list so far, don’t worry. Our next article has First Kid!
Every Fictional President in Film History: Ranked (#70-61—Presidents Dealing With Conspiracies)
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Posted in America Fun Fact of the Day, Every Fictional President in Film History: Ranked
Tagged America, American Presidents, Ernie Hudson, Fictional President Rankings, Fictional Presidents, G.I. Joe, Jonathan Pryce, Louis Gossett Jr., Majority Rule, Mancurian Candidate, Mars Attacks!, Murder at 1600, Natalie Portman, Peter Strauss, Presidents, Robin Gammell, Ronald Lacey, Ronny Cox, Solar Attack, Stealth Fighter, The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension, Tom Stechschulte, US Presidents, Vantage Point, William Hurt, XXX: State of the Union
“Heh heh. Cox. I mean, Mr. Governer.”
~Presidential Debate Proctor, 1920
As we’ve established time and time again, we’re not the best at math, but as far as we can tell, America has been a country for over 150 years, and has had more than 40 presidents. 43 presidents maybe? 45? Either way, it’s less than 50. And that means that anytime you have the chance to become the President of the Most Powerful Country In The World (pre-2008 division), your name will be in the history books, even if it’s just as a footnote.
The problem with being a part of history is that the first and, in some cases only, thing that we see in a history book is the name of the person. Yes, we know that George Washington had fake teeth and liked to stand up on boats, but the first thing we register about him is his name. George Washington. A strong, authoritative name that screams “Presidential.” Now not all of our Presidents were blessed with such a fitting name (looking at you, Herbert Hoover) but they at least managed to have names that didn’t actively get in the way of their political gains.
Which is why we’re here to focus on those whose name did get in the way. The Presidential candidates that got their names on the ballots, failing to realize that maybe they should have changed their name before making the entire population read their name in the polling booth and suppress a giggle. That’s why we present for you…
The Most Unfortunately Named Politicians To Ever Run For President
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Posted in The Best of the Rest, The Other Guys
Tagged America, American Presidents, Barack Obama, FDR, Federalist Party, George Bush, George WAshington, Gerald Ford, Green Clay Smith, Herbert Hoover, Horatio Seymour, James M. Cox, Jimmy Carter, Presidents, Prohibtion Party, Rufus King, Silas C. Swallow, Teddy Roosevelt, Ulysses S. Grant, Wendell Willkie
“Wait, if I’m not on this list, then it’s clearly bullshit.”
~Every AFFotD staff member
Alcohol is a lot like sex—90% of the population really enjoys it, and they’re all kinda made uncomfortable by the 10% that doesn’t. We at America Fun Fact of the Day make it our mission to celebrate alcohol and the Americans who drink it. For example, everyone reading this has consumed alcohol at some point within the past week—we managed to make a teetotaler firewall that automatically directs people that don’t drink to the google image results page for the search “third degree burn + penis.”
We of course celebrate alcohol in its many incarnations here, as well as the great consumers of alcohol. Naturally, America is a great nation of great drinkers, and trying to find, say, the ten best drinkers in American history would be a foolish act of hubris, almost offensive to the very same Americans you are attempting to tribute. So let’s list the ten greatest drinkers in American history.
The 10 Greatest Drinkers in American History
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Posted in Alcohol, Giver of Life, American Heroes, Drinkers
Tagged Alcohol, America, American History, American Presidents, Andrew Johnson, Babe Ruth, Charles Bukowski, drinkers, Edgar Allan Poe, Ernest Hemingway, Frank Sinatra, heroes, Jack Daniels, Jack Kerouac, Jerry Thomas, Ulysses S. Grant, Wade Boggs, Wade Boggs Drinking