“Mirror? What’s that?”
~These Six Presidents
We talk about presidents a lot on this website, which now that we say it out loud shouldn’t be all that surprising for a website called America Fun Fact of the Day. We tend to judge our history through the wars we fight and the men who lead us, so naturally the only patriotic thing to do is to document that history with articles about the goofiest pictures of American presidents, or about how drunk they get. Okay so maybe we’re not writing the most important articles about our past. Or maybe we are.
We’re definitely not. Here are the six American presidents who had the worst hairstyles of all time. We regret nothing.
The Six Worst Presidential Haircuts of All Time
Posted in America Fun Fact of the Day, Our Greatest Presidents
Tagged America, Andrew Johnson, Bad Hair, Bad Presidential Hair, James Buchanan, James K. Polk, John Adams, Martin Van Buren, Presidents, Zachary Taylor
“Squack, I’ll keep whatever pet I goddamn well please, squack.”
~Andrew Jackson’s Pet Parrot
It’s almost an unwritten rule that America’s President take care of a pet during their stay in the White House, even if the only reason is that having a pet is a good way to make the man with more power than anyone else in the free world just a tad bit more relatable. And also because pets are adorable. Currently, the White House is home to two Portuguese Water Dogs, and dogs and cats are pretty typical presidential pets because they’re pretty typical regular pets. But that’s not always the case. Throughout our nation’s histories, some presidents have decided, “I’m the President, goddamn it, I can choose any pet I want” before taking care of the best and most insane pets ever.
Here are five times that American Presidents thought a bit outside the box when it came to pets.
The 5 Best Presidential Pets in American History
Posted in America Fun Fact of the Day, Obscure American History, Our Greatest Presidents, Strange America
Tagged America, Andrew Jackson, Calvin Coolidge, Cats, Dogs, Herbert Hoover, John Quincy Adams, Martin Van Buren, Pets, Presidential Pets, Presidents, Thomas Jefferson
“Heh heh. Cox. I mean, Mr. Governer.”
~Presidential Debate Proctor, 1920
As we’ve established time and time again, we’re not the best at math, but as far as we can tell, America has been a country for over 150 years, and has had more than 40 presidents. 43 presidents maybe? 45? Either way, it’s less than 50. And that means that anytime you have the chance to become the President of the Most Powerful Country In The World (pre-2008 division), your name will be in the history books, even if it’s just as a footnote.
The problem with being a part of history is that the first and, in some cases only, thing that we see in a history book is the name of the person. Yes, we know that George Washington had fake teeth and liked to stand up on boats, but the first thing we register about him is his name. George Washington. A strong, authoritative name that screams “Presidential.” Now not all of our Presidents were blessed with such a fitting name (looking at you, Herbert Hoover) but they at least managed to have names that didn’t actively get in the way of their political gains.
Which is why we’re here to focus on those whose name did get in the way. The Presidential candidates that got their names on the ballots, failing to realize that maybe they should have changed their name before making the entire population read their name in the polling booth and suppress a giggle. That’s why we present for you…
The Most Unfortunately Named Politicians To Ever Run For President
Posted in The Best of the Rest, The Other Guys
Tagged America, American Presidents, Barack Obama, FDR, Federalist Party, George Bush, George WAshington, Gerald Ford, Green Clay Smith, Herbert Hoover, Horatio Seymour, James M. Cox, Jimmy Carter, Presidents, Prohibtion Party, Rufus King, Silas C. Swallow, Teddy Roosevelt, Ulysses S. Grant, Wendell Willkie
“If you DON’T own the ‘Three Wolves Howling At The Moon’ shirt, you’re an awful person and I hate you.”
The staffers of AFFotD have a soft spot in their heart for The Mountain, the geniuses behind the Big Face Animal shirts who still haven’t taken us up on our offer to graciously accept any free products they’d be willing to send our way, but that’s neither here nor there. The Mountain is staffed by dedicated workers who, we assume, are a lot like us here in the America Fun Fact of the Day offices. We imagine that they, like us, spend their weekdays recovering from the temporary blindness that inevitably occurs after swigging moonshine from a poorly maintained sill, whispering into the void “what now?” as the void whispers back “you need a T-shirt of a Gorilla in a spacesuit giving you a thumbs up.” The void is wise.
The Mountain has perfected the art of T-shirts that are stylish, comfortable, and work surprisingly well as a makeshift pot handler in a mobile meth lab, but that doesn’t mean they’re content to rest on their laurels watching stacks of dollar dollar bills flood their P.O. boxes. No, they are constantly striving to make new and exciting shirts because goddamn it, someone out there wants to wear a giant house fly face on their chest, and if The Mountain isn’t going to oblige them, who the fuck will?
So every now and then we like to bring up The Mountain catalog and list some shirts you need to be buying at this very moment. It’s partially a public service announcement, partially a play to get free shit from The Mountain, and somehow the free publicity we offer actually counts towards our community service hours for some reason. America!
The Latest And The Greatest From The Mountain and Big Face Animal Shirts
Posted in Big Face Animal Shirts
Tagged America, American Flag, Bald Eagle, Big Face Animal, FDR, Goat, Jason Heuser, JFK, Poison Arrow Frog, Presidents, The Mountain, Three Wolves Shirt, Tiger, Wolves
“I want all of these. No, I want MORE than all of these.”
Ingenuity often comes from the most obvious places. People have liked meth, wolves, and oversized T-shirts for years, but it wasn’t until someone sat down and said, “Hey, let’s put three wolves on a KFC-stained T-shirt” that we collectively said, “Oh, of course” and bought a million shirts from The Mountain. We didn’t know that chocolate could be put into peanut butter, and vice versa, without a combination of divine intervention and mercy killings. So when we were told that Heroes in Action Toys made action figures of American presidents, we weren’t particularly impressed…until they clarified that the presidents were also monsters.
And we immediately wanted to buy all of them.
Yes, it seems so simple in retrospect, but it took a true genius to come up with monster versions of each American president, and it would be a disservice if we didn’t take you through each and every item on the catalog to show you how incredibly American this idea is. You’re welcome.
Heroes in Action Toys Presents: Presidential Monsters
Posted in Lincoln, Strange America, The Other Guys
Tagged Abraham Lincoln, Action Figures, America, Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, Dracula, Frankenstein, George W. Bush, JFK, Monsters, Mummy, Phantom of the Opera, Presidents, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan, Swamp Thing, The Mountain, Vampire, Wolfman, Zombie