Every Comic Actor in the Star Wars Universe

“Haha holy shit, this involved a lot more research than I assumed it would need.”

~AffotD Editor-in-Chief, Johnny Roosevelt

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Listen, we’re not new the the concept of writing very unnecessary Star Wars articles that require a lot of research that doesn’t have a real audience. Do you, the reader, really care how many Academy Award nominees have been in Star Wars movies? Of course not. But we still wrote 4,500 words on that topic.

Since that article, the Star Wars universe has expanded greatly, after Disney bought the rights for Disney for $4 billion (if you want to get a sense on how much money doesn’t matter, that is 1/10 of the price that it cost to purchase Twitter, a product that has never made money, while the movies made since the acquisition alone has grossed $5.5 billion in the box office).

Anyway, with all the TV shows and new movies that have come out, we’ve noticed something. There are multiple generations that grew up with the dream of being a part of the Star Wars universe. And there seems to be one way to increase your chances to find yourself cast in a galaxy far, far away.

You have to be a comedian.

Or at least a comedic actor. We went through all of the Star Wars properties, and compiled every actor that we’d deem “a comic actor” who has played a character in that universe. Now, the definition of a comic actor is purely subjective, so we likely missed some people who you might believe should be on this list, while including people you might not view as comic. We don’t care, there’s no ranking, we’re just listing people, and 90% of you will (rightfully) just skim through this. And you should! Spoiler alert, this is going to be longgggggg.

Anyway, here are come funny folks who can officially say they have a Wookipedia entry.

Apparently the Easiest Way to Get a Star Wars Role Is to Be a Comedy Actor

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Best Batman Performances, Ranked

There is no way anyone is going to be completely happy with this list. In fact many will be livid. Let’s run it.”

~AFFotD Editor-in-Chief Johnny Roosevelt

Let's Talk: Batman to Batman

There’s a new entry to the Batman franchise, which is about as evergreen of a statement that has ever existed. Batman franchises replicate faster than Tribbles. We’d make a “Being a Batman franchise is like being one of Nick Cannon’s children” joke but we are not hacks, dammit. We have standards.

Batman is basically the pop culture equivalent of bunnies. Their parents always die.

The latest installment that we don’t really need from a franchise that has about a 50% success rate in their attempts to revive the caped crusader is a CW show called Gotham Knights, which premiered March 14th of this year. Not only is it very bad, it has so many baffling ideas behind it we can’t wrap our head around it.

While there is a popular video game of the same name, that game essentially has you playing characters like Robin, Nightwing, Red Hood and Batgirl in a world reeling from the death of Batman. Gotham Knights the TV series also starts with the death of Batman, but instead follows a random group of teen thieves and the adopted son of Bruce Wayne. We are of course talking about…Turner Hayes????(????)

What? Yes that’s right, they made up a completely new character, who doesn’t even know Bruce Wayne was Batman until his death. There is no Alfred. There is no Jim Gordon. Harvey Dent, played by Supernatural‘s Mischa Collins, basically should be named Gordon, as his role is “boss cop”, but no. (Collins is arguably the only good thing in the show, to be fair. There is a Robin, but she’s a random high school girl that met Batman once before he started training her, again without his son knowing. She is introduced with the line, “Wait, aren’t you in my Trig class?”

Ughhhh.

It’s basically Riverdale, but Batman. The writing is bad, the acting is wooden, and it likely won’t get a second season.

But it got us thinking. A lot of people have played Batman over the years. So why not create a subjective list that’ll get Batman fans upset? Sweet! Let’s rank the best Batmans!

AFFotD Determines, Definitively, Once and For All, Who Is the Best Batman

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How Did We Do? AFFotD’s 2023 Academy Awards Rundown

“…Honestly, better than we should have done.”

~AFFotD’s Film Critic Staff

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Last week, we wrote our Academy Award guide for the Best Picture nominees, listing what each film was about, who should win, and who will win. Yes, we saw every nominated Best Picture film (as well as Best Actress, Actor, Supporting Actress, and Supporting Actress films) because we are deeply unwell. 

Then we took a long, long collective nap. We woke up, and the Oscars were airing in two hours. So we rushed together a half-assed rundown where we provided our predictions for the Best Actor and Best Actress categories, and a final one where we rushed through the rest of the categories with very little thought or intention. 

How did we do? Not bad! We were right on 15 of the awards given, and a few of those were ones we indicated were potential winners, and like four of them were in categories we had not seen a single entry too (we may be movie weirdos but we’re not watching all the Short Live Action nominees, come on, are you kidding us?).

So we might as well do a rundown of a historic night at the Academy Awards, and go through where we nailed it, and where we done goofed. 

America Fun Fact of the Day’s 2023 Oscar Rundown

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AFFotD’s 2023 Oscar Guide – All the Other Categories That Aren’t Best Picture or an Acting Category

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Folks, we’ve had an afternoon. Our staff last week sat down and watched all the Oscar nominated films for the major categories. We then sat down and wrote 3,000 words about all of the Best Picture nominees, and who we think could and would win.

Then we had a party and something went wrong with our keg, or our inhibitions, because we woke up and it was just hours before the Academy Awards were set to begin. As of starting this, they will start in 70 minutes. We were able to get Best Actor/Supporting Actor and Best Actress/Supporting Actress predictions in under the wire, but we regret to inform you, there is no longer time for us to be thoughtful or even explain our guesses. Here are the rest of the categories. We’ll let you know if we have any particular thoughts, or haven’t seen a movie nominated.

The Oscars Start in an Hour. We’re Not Even Going to Have Images. Let’s Run Through the Other Awards.

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AFFotD’s 2023 Oscar Guide – Best Actress/Supporting Actress

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Hey, hi, how are you. We’ve meticulously written a rundown of all the Best Picture of the Oscar nominations, which as we start writing this will be airing in two and a half hours, and we spent the last hour doing a rundown of the male acting categories. So let’s not waste time. WE GOT DEADLINES.

Our Predictions for Best Actress and Supporting Actress for the Oscars Happening in 180 Minutes

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AFFotD’s 2023 Oscar Guide – Best Actor/Supporting Actor

“Shit, we forgot to put quotes on the last one of these. WAIT THE OSCARS ARE TODAY?”

~AFFotD Editor-in-Chief, Johnny Roosevelt

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We posted our rundown of all the Best Picture nominees to illustrate that we’re masochists who have watched all the Oscar nominees for Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Actress, Best Supporting Actor and Best Supporting Actress. We then were planning on posting our rundown, and predictions, for all the other awards in three additional articles. Then we got lazy (read as, drunk) and forgot.

But the awards are in four hours so we still have time to either come off as Award geniuses, or Award FOOLS. So let’s get started with the male acting awards.

AFFotD Predicts Best Actor and Supporting Actor Right Before The Oscars

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AFFotD’s 2023 Oscar Guide – Best Picture

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As you no doubt know, the staff here at America Fun Fact of the Day are certified sickos. We also are weirdly obsessed with the Academy Awards. It’s an illness we can’t explain. As a result, our entire staff sat down and watched every single movie nominated for Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Actress, Best Supporting Actor, and Best Supporting Actress, as well as a handful of wildcard nominations.

We don’t necessarily recommend this. We saw about 20 Academy Award nominees, which by a rough estimate means we spent 50 hours watching movies that are trying to be prestigious (also Top Gun and Avatar).

Families were abandoned. Funerals were skipped. Hot Pockets were consumed en masse. But we did all this so that you can hear our arbitrary opinion of each nomination, and our predictions going into Sunday’s ceremony.

So sit back, and probably get ready to be mad at some of our rankings.

AFFotD’s 2023 Oscar Preview – Best Picture

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Please Enjoy This Real-Time Review of Our Staff Watching a Movie Called “Don’t F*** in the Woods 2”

“We haven’t written an article in a while. And the people that are upset about that fact will not be placated by this. But fuck it, publish it.”

~AFFotD Editor-in-Chief Johnny Roosevelt

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Listen. We’ve written over 900 articles here at America Fun Fact of the Day. They’ve ranged from “oh shit you spent a lot of time and probably sacrificed some mental health to comprehensively write about the early days of COVID” to, like, “lol those M&Ms is stoopid.”

This will be a unique article. Not a good one, mind you. Consider yourself forewarned. If this is the first AFFotD article you’ve ever read, may we suggest you begin with our “World’s Saddest Cuisines” feature.

But the point is, we’ve not posted here for a while, and that’s largely due to a lawsuit we have with a specific European nation (fuck off Liechtenstein) and also our laziness.

But you are now witnessing the first ever live-post AFFotD has ever done.

There is no editing. This is all real time. The time-stamp on this article has not been altered, and so you already should know the level of quality this article will be. They can’t all be winners. But when it’s midnight, the start of New Year’s Eve, and you discover that in 2022 there was a low-budget horror film called Don’t Fuck in the Woods 2, well, if you work at AFFotD, you are legally obligated to watch it and write a beat-by-beat review of it as you are watching it. The film has no nuance, nor should we.

SO LET’S GET AFTER IT. Let’s talk about a sequel to a 2016 movie that we also didn’t see that we know must be bad. Strap the fuck in (but don’t fuck in the woods, we guess).

Apparently You Should Not Fuck in the Woods, According to Don’t Fuck in the Woods 2

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Hi, Hello, We’ve Not Posted For a While But Apparently the Bitcoin People Are Making Fortune Cookies Now So Hello Again

“Fortune…cookies favor the brave, wait, no, that isn’t the reason for this is it? Jesus Christ, is this my fault? IS THIS MY FAULT?”

~Matt Damon

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Hey! It’s been a while since you’ve heard from us, mostly because we’ve been active in the popular current hobby of learning how to hug our knees and rock back-and-forth instead of reliving recent traumas.

Normally, you’d expect us to break a long silence because we discovered a comic book about a esports team, or found out about the discontinuation of the Choco Taco (DAMN YOU UNILEVER!) But instead, we are here to talk about two things that could not be farther apart. Or so we thought.

Fortune cookies.

And fucking Cryptocurrency.

Strap the fuck in, loyal readers, it’s CURSIN’ TIME. FUCK!

Crypto Is Advertising Itself on Fortune Cookies and Maybe the World Has Finally Broken?

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And Now… Our Staff of Millennials Make Fun of FaZe Clan in an Article That Will Make Us Look Very Old

“Haha holy shit, this is the lamest thing I’ve ever seen. How much money do they bring in? Hundreds of millions of dollars? Well fuck, I quit.”

~AFFotD Editor-in-Chief Johnny Roosevelt

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Right off the bat. A disclaimer. Our staff is comprised mostly of Millennials, who are increasingly becoming “the olds”, except for our editor-in-chief, the great-great grandson of Teddy Roosevelt who is actually legitimately old. Every week we have to tell him “no” in response to his demand we write about the best brands of prune juice. That is the only reason we have not written an article in two and a half months, and that’s canon.

Then we saw an article by our friends* at 1900HOTDOG about a recent Batman comic that teamed up with a very popular esports team, and is even worse than that sentence would lead you to believe, and that led us looking into said esports team’s roster, which led to us getting article drunk to write an article that is guaranteed to be either completely ignored or ANGRILY responded to by a lot of 23-year-olds alternating between aggressive slurs or slang we don’t understand in the comments section.

*we use “friends”for 1900HOTDOG as an aspirational term as they are more likely to dunk on our articles in savage fashion than actually become our friends, and we’d gladly welcome that

So here we are, a bunch of close-to-middle-age folks, getting ready to dunk on the youths. Based on our understanding of how Gen-Z responds to older generations in a way that will totally not bite them in the ass the way it did us, we’re sure the discourse here will be civil. Anyway.

Today We Learned About FaZe Clan, and Today We Wrote an Article Making Fun of Them

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