Category Archives: America Fun Fact of the Day

The SNL Host Series: Most Random Hosts in Saturday Night Live History (Part 4: Sports Hosts)

“If I’m good at sports, I must be good at nuanced comedic timing on a live national stage, right?”

~Most Professional Athletes to Their Agents

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Last week, we went through the literally hundreds of hosts who have graced the stages of Saturday Night Live over the past forty-plus years. And in our searching, we’ve found that…a lot of the hosts are random as hell. As in, there are a lot of people who can go up to you at a party and say, “I hosted SNL once,” to whom you’d reply, “Oh shut up, stop lying to get attention, Francis Ford Coppola.” And while we’ve covered the 80s, and the decisions that aged…not so great, there’s a complete category of performer we’ve failed to mention. They host SNL all the time, are almost never good at it, and have really no business being in comedy. We’re talking, of course, about professional athletes.

The SNL Host Series: Most Random Hosts in Saturday Night Live History (Part 4: Sports Hosts)

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The SNL Host Series: Most Random Hosts in Saturday Night Live History (Part 3: Decisions That Aged Poorly)

“I’m going to do something British and greasy, because that’s apparently what America demanded in 2011.”

~Russell Brand

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So far we’ve talked about eleven different people who have hosted Saturday Night Live whose mere names bring forth such grandiose praise as, “Wait Ron Reagan hosted Saturday Night Live once?” and “Like, Ron Reagan, like, the youngest son of the former President who Baby Boomers remember as ‘the ballet dancer’? You said hosted, right?” But we’ve only just scratched the surface. Because over the long, storied history of SNL, we’ve had hundreds of famous and relevant hosts, like Tom Hanks, Alec Baldwin, and Steve Martin. And we’ve also had a large handful of hosts that…well, are surprising. And not all of the weird hosts were in the 80s! A lot of them were hosts that we guess made sense at the time, but now warrant blank stares of “wait, they hosted SNL? Like, that famous show? Really?” Here are some of the hosts who hosted SNL at the apex of their cultural relevancy, right before they turned into obscure trivia question answers.

The SNL Host Series: Most Random Hosts in Saturday Night Live History (Part 3: Decisions That Aged Poorly)

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The SNL Host Series: Most Random Hosts in Saturday Night Live History (Part 2: More of the Dreaded 80s)

“No, but seriously, who is Griffin Dunne?

~Everyone Born After 1976

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As we stated earlier this week, not everyone who has hosted Saturday Night Live ended up being names that carried a lot of weight years down the line. Hell, even today, SNL hosts tend to be a mix of famous former cast members, big stars looking to promote a movie, and the occasional “he’s not super famous, but they clearly brought him in because he’s funny and we needed a funny episode this week.” But as weird as it is that like, Miley Cyrus has hosted multiple times, no decade had more strange hosting decisions than the 1980s, where the show was struggling to survive purely on cocaine, stubbornness, and Eddie Murphy’s weird hiccup-laugh. In fact, even though we talked about a bunch of puzzling SNL hosts from the 80s in the first entry of this series, there are still more to cover. So let’s get ready to huff on some Freon to try to get yourself in the mindset of the show’s casting director from 1981 through 1987 with…

The SNL Host Series: Most Random Hosts in Saturday Night Live History (Part 2: More of the Dreaded 80s)

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The SNL Host Series: Most Random Hosts in Saturday Night Live History (Part 1: The Dreaded 80s)

“Live from New York it’s…wait who the hell is that?”

~Don Pardo (RIP)

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On April 14th, 2018, John Mulaney hosted Saturday Night Live’s 847th episode. Mulaney, a former writer for the show, was warmly received even if he’s not exactly a household name. Sure, Mulaney had a Netflix stand up show that he was pushing, but there’s a fair chance that twenty or thirty years from now, some writer for AFFotD will be doing some research and go, “Wait, John Mulaney hosted Saturday Night Live? Who the hell is that? And why am I speaking Russian?”

As it turns out, this is not an uncommon phenomenon. Not only does Saturday Night Live bring in a lot of guests who are only on the fringe of famous, they also tend to pull the trigger on a lot of flash-in-the-pans that immediately fade away from our collective consciousness. This fascinates us, so we (probably incorrectly) assume it will fascinate you.

We’ve gone ahead and compiled a list of 30+ people who have hosted SNL, arguably the most influential and important comedy show in television history, that made us go, “Wait…they hosted Saturday Night Live? Who the hell is that?”

Not surprisingly, this is going to take a long time. And we’re going to have to split this into categories, starting with the 1980s, because the 1980s on SNL were, to put it politely, a fucking train wreck. So enjoy the first of six installments of our latest series (which probably won’t be quite as intense as, say, our Re-Awarding the Oscars series) of…

The SNL Host Series: Most Random Hosts in Saturday Night Live History (Part 1: The Dreaded 80s)

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Six Strangest Marketing Gimmicks Used By Hidden Valley Ranch

“Ranch Dressing.”

~One of Four Check Boxes on Medical Forms Under “Reason For Heart Attack.”

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Ranch dressing claims to be one of the, if not the only, truly American salad dressing. We do not dispute this. No, seriously, we’ve written to that effect and everything. Hidden Valley, a ranch in California, originally invented the creamy gluttonous delicacy in the 50s before selling the brand to Clorox for $8 million in 1972. You’d think that Ranch sells itself, but the folks behind Hidden Valley apparently disagree. Today, Hidden Valley Ranch sells about half a billion dollars’ worth of product a year, but in order to keep things fresh, they’ve been rolling out some, oh, let’s say “interesting” marketing gimmicks. You’ve probably heard about some of them. But not all. So we compiled the rest of them here for you. Because we don’t know about you, but when we think of Ranch dressing, we definitely think “gold, gem-encrusted bottle.” Or we do now, apparently.

Six Strangest Marketing Gimmicks Used By Hidden Valley Ranch

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More of America’s Weirdest, Strangest Burritos (That We’d Probably Eat)

“I don’t care what’s inside of it, just give me that burrito.”

~America

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Last week we scoured the nation to bring to your attention burritos filled with, oh, let’s say…non-conventional ingredients. We had octopus burritos, pho burritos, hell, even a doughnut burrito, and we came the a simple conclusion. No matter how strange the filling, the burrito still sounded delicious (with the possible exception of that doughnut one). Tortillas are pretty much the perfect vessel for anything delicious, and burritos utilize tortillas to the utmost extent.

But as it turns out, there are plenty of other weird, unusual, somehow-still-wonderous burritos in this fine nation. So we decided to order seconds to present to you…

More of America’s Weirdest, Strangest Burritos (That We’d Probably Eat)

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America’s Weirdest, Strangest Burritos (That We’d Probably Eat)

“A burrito is a lot like sex. Everyone insists it’s just like pizza, except they’re wrong, because they don’t realize that Americans do some REALLY weird shit when making burritos.”

~Also, even when it’s pretty bad, it’s still pretty good

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Like the pizza, the hamburger, or pretty much all of our favorite foods, America did not invent the burrito, but we sure as shit put our stamp on it to make it uniquely ours. We don’t really know where burritos came from, apart from the fact that they were either developed in Mexico, or by the Mexican-American community in our fine nation. There are a lot stories about the invention of the burrito, one of which involves a Mexican street food vendor who used a donkey as transport and decided to wrap his food in tortillas to keep the contents warm. People like this story since it explains the name “burrito”, which is Spanish for “little donkey” which, by the way, just a lousy name for a food product. Just a crappy name. Though, the name probably proves that the burrito was in fact invented in Mexico, because if it had been invented in America we’d have called them like, well, not Hot Pockets, but… yeah probably Hot Pockets.

In retrospect, “little donkey” is fine.

Anyway, in Mexico, they’re traditional to Ciudad Juárez, just across the border from El Paso, though they’re pretty basic, containing only a few basic ingredients. And while burritos have only found popularity in the northern part of Mexico, once they got brought over to America, we went ham with that shit. Like, as in, literally putting ham in it sometimes. And that’s what we want to bring your attention to with today’s article.

The moment burritos began to make their way across America, starting in California in the mid-20th century, we Americans realized we could put anything we wanted in there, so long as the end result tasted good. Why limit yourself to pork, chicken, and beef when you can put whatever you want inside that tortilla? Well, usually because pork, chicken and beef are the best tasting options. But that hasn’t stopped our entrepreneurial spirit. And so, we have dozens of variations of burritos that range from “delicious” to “delicious but also really fucking weird, guys.”

We’re here to focus on the weird ones made by the chef with the crazy eyes. Because even though these burritos sound absolutely insane, they also sound absolutely delicious.

America’s Weirdest, Strangest Burritos (That We’d Probably Eat) 

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The (Complicated) American History of Mac and Cheese

“This is as delicious as it is problematic.”

~Historians Eating Mac and Cheese

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Mac and cheese. Macaroni and cheese. Mac dog and the cheeser. Two of these are socially recognized and accepted terms for the classic, theoretically simple dish that combines cooked macaroni with a cheese sauce to create an addictive meal. Mac and cheese has recently seen a surge in respectability, as the blue box dinners of our childhood have been replaced by high end ingredients such as truffles, lobster, or whatever the fuck this is. But before it was a fancy source of carbs, even before it was the only thing you’d eat as a kid, mac and cheese was a high end dish eaten elusively by the wealthy during the formative years of our nation. It’s history is complicated, as is just about everything from the 18th century, but it at least offers a glimpse into the lives of our founding fathers.

So we’re going to dumb it down as much as possible and toss in swears and bad jokes to kind of skirt around the whole “slavery” thing when we tell you about…

The (Complicated) American History of Mac and Cheese

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Re-Awarding the Academy Award for Best Picture (2005-2009)

“Wait, we’re done? Like, I can go home now? I don’t have to keep watching hundreds upon hundreds of movies?”

~Our Film Screener. He’s So, So Tired.

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Well, it’s been a long, weird ride. We’ve gone through the relatively boring 70s, the all-over-the-place 80s (literally half of the revised winners were films that weren’t even nominated initially, and no, you will not make us rescind giving Die Hard an Oscar, fuck you), the “are you fucking kidding me with this, Dances With Wolves” 90s, and the Lord of the Rings comeback tour of the early 00s, but now we’re finally on our final article of this sordid crazy ride we’ve been on. By the end of this article, we will have written over 40,000 words (Jesus, that’s like a short novel, what are we doing with our lives) telling you about over 200 films (well actually 209, because 9 of these 40 Academy Awards ended up going to movies that were not originally nominated). If you think it’s been exhausting going through this list (and we know it has, so many of our choices have made you so angry for mostly completely legitimate reasons, sorry about American Beauty, guys) it’s been about a million times more exhausting to compile it.

But we’re at the finish line! Just five more years of Academy Award ceremonies to go through in order to correct history! One last time for those in the back, here’s how we’re doing this. We’ll list each group of films by the year their Academy Awards ceremony was held. So when we talk about 2005, we’re discussing the 2005 Academy Award ceremony, which was given for movies made in 2004. 2006’s entries are all films from 2005, you get the deal, we’ve literally done seven of these already (and if you’ve randomly found this article because you googled “Oscar Sex Party Big Boobs” and clicked the second link on the third page of results, um, listen we’re sorry we honestly didn’t think that would work SEO-wise, we’re sorry, there are no Oscar Sex Party Big Boobs here, or even Oscar Sex Party REGULAR Boobs, but, um, check out our other films in our brand new Re-Awarding the Academy Award section if you want to see the other articles in this series. No, none of them have boobs. Again, we’re sorry).

So yeah. The parenthetical number next to each movie is their IMDB user rating, which we realize was a dumb and arbitrary thing to go by, but we just include it to give you an idea of how fondly the film has been remembered. And finally, as you no doubt have gathered, we’ll be listing every winner and nominee from each year, but you don’t have to be nominated to go home with the re-awarded statue.

Enough of our jabbering, let’s finish this bitch. Here we are…

Re-Awarding the Academy Award for Best Picture (2005-2009)

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Re-Awarding the Academy Award for Best Picture (2000-2004)

“Hahaha wait, we won Best Picture? That can’t be right. Are you guys Moonlighting us here or?”

~Chicago

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It’s been a long journey for all of us, but we’re nearly finished. Started on a whim, our decision to go through every single Oscar winner for Best Picture from 1970 to 2009, tell you about all the nominated films, and re-award the Academy Award has taken so much time and research we don’t know why we even started. Simple math should have told us that this would require us to discuss two hundred fucking movies, but we don’t do math, and we literally just figured that out now. But it’s too late to turn back. Just two more left to go, so let’s get going.

You can of course look here, here, here, here, here or even here for our previous entries, but for now, let’s go through each Academy Award ceremony for the first half of the 2000s and determine where the Academy got things right, and where they went wrong.

Re-Awarding the Academy Award for Best Picture (2000-2004)

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