“Huh. Guess that God thing only goes so far.”
~Timothy Richard Tebow
The beauty of American sports lies in the glory of victory, but mainly the agony of defeat. Not De-Feet, Rex Ryan, but you are right, making foot fetish jokes about the Jets is another perk of being a sports fan. But the fact of the matter is that, no matter what, by the end of a season there is a greater chance that your team will not end up being the champions, and if you’re a Cubs fan there’s an implied certainty that not only will your team not go all the way, but you’ll probably lose your house in a fire while a re-invented Carlos Zambrano pitches a perfect game for the Miami Marlins.
And while some teams fizzle midway through the year, and most teams never have a shot, some may argue that the most devastating heartbreak can come when a team gets so close to the ultimate prize just to see it ultimately fall through their trembling, bacon-grease-covered fingers. And as America finds itself deep into the NFL Playoffs, more and more fan bases have to see that one ultimate defeat that’ll make their entire transcendent season utterly meaningless, unless you were able to ride Aaron Rodgers or Drew Brees to help you win your fantasy league. Because at least that way those two QBs were able to win something this year.
So for the fans that spent all season bragging about the historic year of their franchise who are left standing with a gaping jaw wondering how they could have possibly given up 37 points to Eli Fucking Manning, we here at AFFotD are here to give you this handy guide.
The Seven Stages of Grief (For an NFL Playoff Loss)
He might not be playing in the Super Bowl, but he’s a shoe-in for that part in the Green Bay Community Theater production of “Newsies”