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The Worst Sports Fan Apparel Ever Made

“I just wanted to root for the Cubs, why do we have to bring death into this?”

~Normal Baseball Fans

cubs shirt

Look at that right there. That, friends, is a bad idea for a sports shirt. It’s not for sale anymore since, you know, the Cubs won one before many (not all ☹) people died. But as sports apparel, it’s shockingly bad. It’s awkward, it’s weird, and it makes everyone involved uncomfortable. And it’s hardly unique among athletic paraphernalia. There are a shocking amount of shirts, jerseys, and, well, miscellaneous items out there for sale that are intended to show your mettle as a true “super fan” that back fire in truly spectacular ways. Here are some of those items.

The Worst Sports Fan Apparel Ever Made

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The 2014-2015 NFL Playoff Picture

“Football!  Football football FOOTBALL!!!!”



Football had a bit of a rough year in 2014.  There’s not been a lot of bright spots in the sport between the various horrific crimes perpetrated by players that we don’t feel particularly comfortable making fun of and the fact that if you told us that Roger Goodell was planted in a position of power in the NFL by North Korea to slowly turn America against one of their favorite games as some long-term espionage strategy, we’d probably believe you for a second.

But as we ring in the New Year, so too do we usher in a special time for Americans far and wide—desperately hoping that your least favorite team doesn’t win the Super Bowl.  Yes, the NFL Playoffs are here, and while some of you might be cheering for your team to go deep into the 2015 playoffs, others of you might have the unfortunate handicap of being fans of, say, the Bears, or the Buccaneers.  It’s not your fault.  It’s not your fault.

Though it’s easy to assume that everyone has been following the highs and lows of the 2014 NFL season, some of you might not really like sports.  We get it.  You’d rather not waste your time getting emotionally invested in a team of millionaires whose sole connection to you rests in what city they happen to be playing for.  But to you, American non-sports-fan, we’ll want to point out one thing.  You say that shit while invited to a Super Bowl party, and you’re going to be pissing off everyone in the room.  So, for you, Mr. sports skeptic, we’re going to delve into the twelve teams that will be playing starting on Saturday, with the hopes that you’ll learn a little something about this year’s best teams in America’s favorite sport.  Also we’ll talk about the Panthers.

The 2014-2015 NFL Playoff Picture

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