Category Archives: America’s Largest Everything

We love things that are needlessly giant. If it’s the world’s largest hamburger, or the world’s largest rocking chair, we’ll be there to write about it, because it really takes our mind off those divorce proceedings.

The Largest Bottles Of Alcohol In The World

“But, I can still drink it all at once, right?”

~Giant booze bottle owners

giant carlsburg

In America, we have two phrases we’re quite fond of.  “Bigger is better” and, “I’m so wasted right now.”  So it’s only natural that we should combine those two forces with alcohol containers that are so large they require a team of engineers to figure out an effective way to actually drink out of it.  While we’ve all had our lonely nights huddled in the dark corners of our studio apartments suckling on a handle of Jim Beam, only the truly great among us have thought, “What if I could sell three liters of booze at a time?  How about a full gallon?  What about a million boozes!?

Those people are mere rank amateurs compared to the following alcohol distributors.  Sit back and enjoy as we show you…

The Largest Bottles Of Alcohol In The World

giant bottle

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Holy Mother of Cow, It’s the World’s Largest Hamburger!

“Weighing in at over 300 pounds, this 3 foot tall hunk of meat….”

~A Porn actress’s nightmare

It should come as no surprise to you that we at the America Fun Fact of the Day have a pretty well-established love of Hamburgers.  We also love needless excess.  Show us the person who would say that we’re “wasting our time” making and selling the world’s largest gummy bear and we’ll show you a sad individual whose dream of making and selling the world’s largest gummy bear was likely dashed by diabetes.

America loves unhealthy things, and we love lots of unhealthy things far more.  When someone tells us something has 540,000 calories, our response is generally, “I’m sorry, you’ll have to repeat yourself, I just climaxed.”

But, to quote the guy from Queens who thought we just insulted him in that last sentence, “I got your 540,000 calories riiiiight here.”  And he does.  Or at least we do.  And by “we” we mean to say “Detroit”.  In the form of…

Holy Mother of Cow, It’s the World’s Largest Hamburger!

Pictured, from left to right:  Ingredient, Ingredient, Hamburger, Psychopath chef

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AFFotD News Item of the Month: The Huffington Post Can Be Quite…PUNNY When Talking About a…HOT DOG of a Tale in the WURST Way and Oh God Just Kill Us Now, It’s A Fucking Story About The World’s Largest Bratwurst Okay? Not a Fucking Convention For Marx Brothers Enthusiasts. GodDAMNit.

“Heh…heh…puns.”

~The Huffington Post


Giant penis.  There, glad to get that out of our system.  AFFotD has made it an occasional habit to bring you moderately new “news” stories, if for no other reason than to save you from the terror of reading about something in a newspaper.  So whenever we’re talking about Brewmasters peeing in glasses or people drinking only beer for lent, we’re there…well, a few days later.

So when we see something about a Chicago restaurant setting a world record by making a 47-foot long bratwurst, you can count on us to fill you in, without making you wade through the treacherous sea of awful, cringe-worthy puns that certain articles by the goddamn Huffington Post about it choose to use.

Seriously, there’s more bad puns in the Huffington Post article about this sausage than a clown funeral.  Do clowns even use puns?  Would they say puns at a clown funeral?  We don’t know.  Stop bothering us.  Sausage is another way to describe a penis.

Uh.  Anyway.  Time for the news.

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