Tag Archives: Andy Garcia

Every Fictional President in Film History: Ranked (#50-41—Strong During a Crisis)

“…You mean we have to watch Geostorm for this article?”

~AFFotD Staffers

potus

Welcome to a series of articles with so many entries that we’re not even bothering to count them. This is, what, the tenth one of these? That sounds right, ballpark at least? Anyway, we decided (thanks, Jack Daniels and a surprise divorce) that we should find every single fictional president who has been portrayed in a movie, and decide which one of those was the best at presidenting. And THEN we decided we should arbitrarily rank each president against each other, for reasons that don’t sound quite as compelling now that we’ve sobered up. So if this is the first article in this series you’ve come across because you Googled “Gregory Peck President” then, well, we honestly don’t know if you are our prime demographic or not. Just keep in mind that all these fancy links at the beginning of this paragraphs link to previous entries to our latest series in which we, and maybe you already know where we’re going with this, because we literally just said it, rank every fictional movie President arbitrarily. We’re now getting to our better fake Presidents, the ones who stand tall and stay strong, no matter how much things fall apart around them.

Every Fictional President in Film History: Ranked (#50-41—Strong During a Crisis)

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A Road Trip of Roadside Attractions Through America’s Midwest: Part 1

“Are we there yet?  Are we there yet?  Are we there yet?”

~Those fucking kids.  I swear to God, I will drive this van into a ravine.


America is a land of roads.  More than any other nation, the highways and interstates of this great land speak of a legacy.  You can drive to any state you want, assuming you had enough time, gas money, and activated charcoal to fool the breathalyzers.   Except for Hawaii, but Hawaii the 51st most American state in the World.  Guam is ahead of it, and Guam isn’t even a goddamn state.

But if it is the roads of America that serve as this nation’s heart, roadside attractions serve as our soul.  America can take something like twine, try to make the world’s biggest ball of it, and center it as the primary reason for people to visit their town.  And people will stop and see that big ass ball of twine because hey, that’s sorta cool, besides, we all need a piss stop anyway.  Hell, this is a country that not only has a “world’s largest cherry pie tin,” they have a contending giant pie tin forty-five minutes away.

No other place in the world comes close to the glory of a roadside attraction during a lengthy road trip.  In Europe, you have to deal with Smart Cars getting all up on your grill.  In South America, the closest thing they have to a “Roadside attraction” is the fact that they carve murder roads into cliffs as a way to battle population growth.

“Hola?”  “ADIOS!”

Every state in America has something just off the highway in some small town that is gloriously pointless.  What is more American than the World’s Largest Toilet ?  Why, the World’s Largest American Flag, obviously, and that’s just two towns over.  Fuck yes!

America’s Midwest is often known as “America’s Heartland,” and Indiana even admits in its state motto of “The Crossroads of America” that “You basically go through our state to get where you want to go.”  For this reason, today’s America Fun Fact of the Day will be about…

Landmark Attractions of the American Midwest (or, like, 3 states)

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