Tag Archives: Prohibtion Party

The Most Unfortunately Named Politicians To Ever Run For President

“Heh heh.  Cox.  I mean, Mr. Governer.”

~Presidential Debate Proctor, 1920

presidential seal

As we’ve established time and time again, we’re not the best at math, but as far as we can tell, America has been a country for over 150 years, and has had more than 40 presidents.  43 presidents maybe?  45?  Either way, it’s less than 50.  And that means that anytime you have the chance to become the President of the Most Powerful Country In The World (pre-2008 division), your name will be in the history books, even if it’s just as a footnote.

The problem with being a part of history is that the first and, in some cases only, thing that we see in a history book is the name of the person.  Yes, we know that George Washington had fake teeth and liked to stand up on boats, but the first thing we register about him is his name.  George Washington.  A strong, authoritative name that screams “Presidential.”  Now not all of our Presidents were blessed with such a fitting name (looking at you, Herbert Hoover) but they at least managed to have names that didn’t actively get in the way of their political gains.

Which is why we’re here to focus on those whose name did get in the way.  The Presidential candidates that got their names on the ballots, failing to realize that maybe they should have changed their name before making the entire population read their name in the polling booth and suppress a giggle.  That’s why we present for you…

The Most Unfortunately Named Politicians To Ever Run For President

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AFFotD Presents: America’s Dumbest Political Parties (of America!)

“Ain’t no party like a Communist party ‘cause a Communist party don’t stop.”

~DJ “Krazy” Karl Marx

American Politics are a lot like a Tijuana Donkey Show.  People get strangely excited about it, but the end result always ends up being incredibly messy while filling everyone involved with a profound sense of shame.  No matter what political party you endorse,  more often than not it’s going to center around an aggressively idealistic narcissist surrounding him or herself with a murder of hyper-educated, over-qualified, over-worked younger workers.  It’s not a question of Republican and Democrat, politics on both sides show people practically killing themselves with grueling schedules and illegitimate children extended time away from their families to get into a game that doesn’t even pay that much more than the starting salary for an attorney.

But, no matter what, if you’re a member of one of the major political parties, you have both an established political legitimacy, as well as a reason to get into surprisingly hostile arguments with strangers that have any differing views.  That’s the nature of US Politics.

“Well I think that municipal elections for waste management officials should be held every THREE years, jackass!”

But hidden in all the partisan turmoil, a simple truth remains about American politics- this nation is filled with absolutely absurd political parties, most of them hidden under the blanket of obscurity and, again, just plain idiocy, because who in their right mind is going to want to join a political party that’s only platform is “vaccines are giving our kids Autism”?

Well, The Canary Party, evidently, which is just one of many miniscule Political entities you’re going to hear about today in…

AFFotD Presents:  America’s Dumbest Political Parties (of America!)

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