Tag Archives: John Wilkes Booth

Boston Corbett: The (Insane) Killer Of John Wilkes Booth

“I mean, yeah.”

Boston Corbett, when asked “like, are you crazy, or?”

boston corbett

So, let’s talk about history, shall we?  American history, naturally, because that’s the best kind, and all you “our church was made in 1103, and our beer has been brewed for a thousand years” European ninnys can hand us the beer, sure, but otherwise shut your damn mouths.  American history is great, largely because, and we can’t believe how this gets glossed over in our Social Studies books in elementary school, but it is deeply weird a lot of the time.  Like, we once had a president die because he drank a bunch of milk and ate too many cherriesDied!  A real honest-to-God Commander-in-Chief died doing an impression of someone who plays Pac Man but keeps wanting to be able to eat the ghosts.

So the point is, American history is awesome, and entertaining, and deeply, deeply weird, and we at America Fun Fact of the Day embrace that, because it means that every day we can come across something we didn’t know that suddenly becomes our new favorite fact.

For example, Boston Corbett, the man who shot and killed Abraham Lincoln’s assassin, was a self-castrated soldier driven mad by mercury poison.  Let’s talk about that motherfucker, right?  Okay then!

Boston Corbett:  The (Insane) Killer Of John Wilkes Booth

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The Jack Thompson in Today’s Fun Fact is a Fictional Satirical Persona Due to Legal Reasons

“Jack Thompson is a douchetard”

~Absolutely Everyone

The America Fun Fact of the Day office takes pride in showing the best and brightest of America.  When our readers see these tales of past and present heroes, we like to think they strive to be better Americans, to grab life by the horns, go down swinging, and various other clichés.  Early bird gets the worm.  Whatever.

And while it’s easy to look at shining beacons of American hope, we often overlook the sinkholes in our society.  Unfortunately, for every Abraham Lincoln, there is a John Wileks Booth.  For every FDR, there’s a Snookie.  For every Jack Kerouac, there is a hungover America Fun Fact of the Day writer making a cheap Jersey Shore joke that will read as gibberish in five years.  To truly see our own greatness, we have to see how we, as a nation, deal with punk ass idiots.

Jack Thompson is one of those punk ass idiots.

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