Tag Archives: Beer

This Week In Beer: November 12th Edition

“How many beers must a man down, before you can call him a man?”

~Bob Dylan

this week in beer

A wise man once said, “Shut up I don’t care if you ran out of introductions to do for this weekly beer news gimmick, just have one of the interns jot down a random sentence once he’s done with his AFFotD sanctioned cage match.  You can tell him I made you do it, me, Johnny Roosevelt, editor-in-chief of America Fun Fact of the Day.”  We’re pretty sure it was Ghandi, but the real quotation attribution has been lost to time.  Anyway, beer time.

This Week In Beer:  November 12th Edition

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This Week in Beer: November 5th Edition

“To beer, the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.”

~Homer Simpson

this week in beer

As our memories of warm summers slowly fade into oblivion to be replaced by cold, overcast winter nights, there is one thing that we can use to make our season just a little brighter.  No, you big softies, not family and friends, we’re talking about beer.  Delicious happy hop juice.  And, continuing our weekly series, here’s some beer news you might not have heard.

This Week in Beer:  November 5th Edition

beer and wine

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This Week in Beer: October 22-October 29

“Wait, haven’t they posted, like, four beer articles in a row now?”

~AFFotD Readers

this week in beer

Yes, we realize that some of you are scrolling down right now and are spotting two beer news article, and one beer-related article that reads a lot like a beer news article, all in a row, but don’t worry about that, we’ll be getting back to mixing in non-beer stories to go with our “This Week in Beer” segments, even if you wouldn’t mind reading nothing but beer facts (sample fact for later articles—did you know that beer is delicious and gets you drunk?  Well you do now!)

Of course, part of the reason why it’s so easy to spend all our time writing about beer is that beer always has something newsworthy going on.  And this past week was no exception, which is why we’re here to continue our This Week in Beer series with…

This Week in Beer:  October 22-October 29

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Five Delicious Frozen Beer Treats For The Summer (Posted In The Fall)

“I’m honestly not sure if this is an ice cream headache or a hangover.”

~Americans currently pressing their tongues to the roofs of their mouths

 ice cream mug

Summer has officially come to an end, and as the hot, disgustingly sweaty nights of August brace to be replaced by the dreary, drinking-bourbon-alone-in-your-studio-apartment subzero evenings of February, we at AFFotD like to look back and think about all the products we could have told you about to make your summer better, but waited until the week where you finally reached below-freezing temperatures to tell you about them.

Basically, a lot of people have found a way to turn beer into a refreshing summer treat.  And now you’ll have to wait a year until you get to enjoy them.  Send all hate mail to the email address listed on the right.  Come at us, bro.

Five Delicious Frozen Beer Treats For The Summer (Posted In The Fall)

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This Week In Beer: October 16-October 22

“Beer beer, the wonderful brew, the more you drink it, the more you spew.”

~Ancient Chinese Proverb

this week in beer

Last week we introduced our newest weekly segment, “This Week in Beer,” where we detailed the latest trends in beer.  We don’t mean to overstate its impact on your life, but we spent a few paragraphs berating the government for shutting down, leaving breweries unable to get new recipes or labels approved, and six hours after we submitted the article, the government opened again.  That’s right.  Remember, when everyone in America wakes up to find a pony in their front yard that has been given to them as a gift by their local Congressman, you can thank us for telling them to do that (or you can shout, “What the fuck, AFFotD, my apartment is going to be covered in pony shit” which is totally a valid response.  We really didn’t think this whole pony plan through, to be honest).

An educated American is a drunk American, so we’re going to continue our quest to give you all the most relevant beer news you can, because you’re far too sober for a Tuesday right now.

This Week In Beer:  October 16-October 22

Obama beer

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This Week in Beer- Inaugural Edition

“God bless you, Michigan.”

~Michigan residents who like to refer to their state in the third person

this week in beer

Our staff at America Fun Fact of the Day know we have one of the most important jobs in this nation—to keep our citizens informed of the best that America has to offer.  Sometimes, we might deem it important that you know about badass presidents from the past, or just general badasses from our history, but more often than not this duty involves telling you about alcohol and fatty foods you should be putting in your body at all times.  It’s our sworn charge, and we take it pretty seriously.

Which is why we’ve decided to create a weekly installment here on America Fun Fact of the Day to make sure that you area always up-to-date on one of the most important topics we can imagine.  That’s right—beer.  So strap yourself in, because we’re about to deliver the latest, most important beer news from the past week (or thereabouts).  Because beer is serious business.

AFFotD Presents:  This Week in Beer- Inaugural Edition

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Point/Counterpoint: Would You Drink Hydrating Beer With Less Alcohol?

“I only invented Science in the hope that someday I could use it to help get people drunk.”

~Isaac Newton

smiley beer

In this 24-hour news cycle world we live in, the announcement of a new cultural phenomenon or technological product causes a flurry of knee-jerk reactions.  Sometimes, these viewpoints look flat out stupid in retrospect, while occasionally the people howling about their hatred of change are spot on with their assessments.  We never know when we’re going to fall on the right side of history, which is why we tend to try to land on the drunk side of things and wait for the dust to settle before giving our two cents.  Every so often, however, our office staff becomes divided on their love or hatred of a new and exciting development in drunk technology.  At that point, we tend to get a representative from each side of the argument, and pit them against each other in an intellectual cock fight.

Don’t  worry, we don’t actually harm any roosters, we’re using the word “intellectual cock fight” metaphorically.  No, once we’ve picked a winner and a loser, we take the loser and set hungry, angry pit bulls on them.  Don’t feel bad, though, our insurance benefits are amazing here.

We bring this up because we’re in the midst of one such intellectual conundrum.  A group of Australian scientists have announced that they discovered a way to make a hydrating beer.  By adding electrolytes, and removing some alcohol, they made a beer that helps lessen that dehydrated hangover feeling the next morning, which could revolutionize the beer drinking experience, except for one nagging issue.

That’s right.  They remove alcohol?  The shit is that?  We’ve been split on it all week, so we’re going to offer this subject to public discussion as we once again bring out our point/counterpoint series.

Point/Counterpoint:  Would You Drink Hydrating Beer With Less Alcohol?

beer drown

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Budweiser’s Five Worst “Beer Products”

“More like Bud…WHYYYYYYY…uh, ser.”

~We’re not the best at puns

Bud Light- the worst

Budweiser is the number one selling beer in America.  Let that sink in, America, and think long and hard about what you did.  Do you do this just to make us upset?

Do you?

The reason doesn’t matter, all that we know is that Americans spend more of their money buying beer produced by a Belgian-Brazilian conglomerate than on beer that tastes like anything other than sadness.

We’re not joking, we’re pretty confident abject sorrow  is the active ingredient in Budweiser, and we got confirmation of this fact once we saw this Yahoo Answers post which is easily the most depressing thing we’ve ever read about beer.

While Budweiser is not exactly known for pushing the envelope past their “straw flavored spit water” standard, they do branch out on occasion and try to introduce new beers to an always-hungry-for-innovation market.

The most popular of these efforts tend to range from “Bad but people seem to like it” to “this beer is not actively awful.”  Even though they set a pretty low bar with all their products, they have managed to, time and time again, create terrifying concoctions.  Beverages that haunt all who drink them for the remainder of their days.

Here are five such monstrosities.

Budweiser’s Five Worst “Beer Products”

did you know that budweiser is german for shitty bear

Well, you know, apart from their actual beer products

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The Six Worst Marketing Gimmicks By Major Breweries

“Sure it tastes like garbage, but it looks like a bow-tie so suddenly I want to drink it!”

~Americans according to Budweiser

budweiser can

You see that up there?  That’s the latest attempt by Budweiser to dangle shiny things in front of American beer drinkers in order to trick them into buying their watered down, rice-brewed beer.  The marketing strategy is simple—hey, people will buy any beer if the can looks all funny.  It’s a bow-tie guys!  The beer inside must taste like something other than wet cardboard and dirty barroom floors.

While there are craft beers that veer towards the “pointlessly novel” in order to entice novice drinkers (looking at you, Clown Shoes Brewery), they usually have a quality product they’re trying to introduce to the masses.  The largest domestic beer brewers, however, can’t make such claims.  They know they’re selling you cheap swill (that admittedly will get you drunk…eventually) but dammit, if the bottle is cool enough, maybe they can trick you to think otherwise.  That’s where we get…

The Six Worst Marketing Gimmicks By Major Breweries

 bud light lime

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The Five Newest, Strangest Beers in America

“Wow.  I mean, I’d drink it, because alcohol, but…wow.”

~American beer drinkers

kelpie seaweed ale

America is a nation of innovation, nurturing the minds that eventually came to bring us DVDs, the Internet, and probably some other things that we don’t even use to watch pornography.  Nowhere is this enterprising spirit more apparent than our constant efforts to improve upon perfection (read as: beer).  Each year brewers go out of their way to give us new and interesting ways to get drunk on liquid bliss, ranging from the strange to the “are you sure that’s not whiskey?”

As purveyors of all things American, we constantly find ourselves inundated with a plethora insane sounding beers that we absolutely have to try at this moment.  So for tax write-off purposes, we’re going to list the five newest, most exciting, and strangest beers that have hit the market this past year so we can try them without having to buy them.  Because this is America goddamn it, and if we can find a way to get the government to pay us to get drunk, we’re going to move heaven and Earth to make that happen.

Or just write 1,500 words on weird beers.  Tomato to-mah-to.

The Five Newest, Strangest Beers in America

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