“The only thing that can make beer even better is the knowledge that a living creature died so I can drink it.”
~American Beer Drinkers
Beer is wonderful. We love beer. You love beer. Everyone loves beer. Well, except for Sharon, but seriously, Sharon is the worst. Like, every time she opens her mouth, just, ugh. Sharon. Fuck Sharon. But horray beer (Horray beer!) As a nation, America spends an obscene-yet-appropriate amount of time, money, and effort into making new, exciting, and dangerously alcoholic beers for us to punish our livers with. If we spent the energy we exert on beer innovation on, say, space travel, we probably would have settled colonies on dozens of planets by now. But are planets delicious, refreshing, and able to get you absolutely trashed? No, of course they can’t, they’re just stupid hunks of rock. They’re practically the opposite of beer, so why should we give them the time of day? That’s right, we shouldn’t, we’ve got a new session beer to try. We’ve got our priorities straight, is what we’re trying to say.
Seeing as the beer brewing business favors the bold and encourages risk taking, as well as being largely stocked with red-blooded American heroes, it should come as no surprise that there are a dearth of beers that include honest-to-God animal parts in the brewing process. Because we like our beer like we like our women: swirling in a vat surrounded by chunks of creatures that once had a fully functioning nervous system. Um, wait. Let’s try that again…
Meatbeer: 12 Beers Brewed With Animal Meat
Posted in Beer!, Strange America, Strange Foods
Tagged America, Bacon beer, Bavarian Purity Law, beef heart, Beer, brewing beer, Brooklyn Brewery, burke in the bottle, cock ale, conwy brewery, David Burke, Dock Street Brewing company, earth eagle brewings, elephant poop, Goat brain beer, Goddamn It Japan You're Doing it Wrong, gruit, iceland, lamb beer, Meatbeer, pig head beer, Reinheitsgebot, right brain brewery, Rocky Mountain Oyster, rocky mountain oyster stout, Rogue Ale, Sam Adams, samuel adams, Sankt Gallen Brewery, smoked beer, strange beer, The Walking Dead, Un Kono Kuro, Uncommon Brewers, Voodoo Doughnut Maple Bacon Ale, whale beer, Willimantic Brewing Company, Wynkoop Brewery
“Wow. I mean, I’d drink it, because alcohol, but…wow.”
~American beer drinkers
America is a nation of innovation, nurturing the minds that eventually came to bring us DVDs, the Internet, and probably some other things that we don’t even use to watch pornography. Nowhere is this enterprising spirit more apparent than our constant efforts to improve upon perfection (read as: beer). Each year brewers go out of their way to give us new and interesting ways to get drunk on liquid bliss, ranging from the strange to the “are you sure that’s not whiskey?”
As purveyors of all things American, we constantly find ourselves inundated with a plethora insane sounding beers that we absolutely have to try at this moment. So for tax write-off purposes, we’re going to list the five newest, most exciting, and strangest beers that have hit the market this past year so we can try them without having to buy them. Because this is America goddamn it, and if we can find a way to get the government to pay us to get drunk, we’re going to move heaven and Earth to make that happen.
Or just write 1,500 words on weird beers. Tomato to-mah-to.
The Five Newest, Strangest Beers in America
Posted in Beer!
Tagged Alcohol, America, Bacon, Beer, Doughnut, Kimchi, Maple, Rocky Mountain Oyster, Rogue Brewery, Root Beer, S'mores, sassafras root, Short's Brewing Company, Sprechers, Temperance Movement, Wynkoop Brewery