“This is our national anthem, nobody likes me L”
~Huh, How Do You Get an Emoji in a National Anthem?
We’ve spent the last few weeks telling you about countries that aren’t America, which we know is very jarring for many of you. But in our attempts to be cultured (read as: making fun of other nations) we’ve found a broad spectrum of National Anthems that range from “Okay that’s pretty badass” to “please stop crying, please stop crying, it’s making us very uncomfortable.”
Make no mistake, a National Anthem is supposed to be your country at its most very badass. But that’s not always the case. So we’re going to close out our series with a handful of nations that, just, really need to boost that self-esteem. Come on guys, chins up!
The National Anthems Of The World Series: Part 4- National Anthems With The Lowest Self Esteem
“The horror. The fermented horror.”
~Tourists looking at a list of Icelandic dishes
Iceland is a country so far north that you basically never see the sunlight during their winters, which are only made somewhat tolerable, temperature wise, because when God made that island as somewhere no one would try to live he forgot about the volcanoes he accidentally put there.
When “well, the cold’s not so bad, thanks to the volcanoes” is something an entire nation can say, it’s probably not surprising that their culinary culture embraces “bad, depressing foods” that existed solely to make sure 300,000 or so crazy Norse people could muster up just enough energy not to starve or freeze.
Now, Iceland is a perfectly lovely country, and apparently is very beautiful to visit in the summer. That being said, here’s what Icelandic people have to say about Icelandic winters.
Anyway, rich culture notwithstanding, we took a look at the kind of meals you can expect from traditional Icelandic cooking and discovered, well, that it’s going to be our next installment in our ongoing series, The World’s Saddest Cuisines. So let’s dive in.
The World’s Saddest Cuisines: Iceland
Posted in America Fun Fact of the Day, Insulting Foreigners, The Rest of Them, The World’s Saddest Cuisines
Tagged America, Blood Pudding, Cod, Cod Liver Oil, Cod Tongues, fermented shark, Fjallagrasamjólk, Gellur, Hvalspik, iceland, Iceland Moss, Icelandic cuisine, Kæstur Hákarl, lysi, Puffin Heart, Súrir hrútspungar, Sheep, Slatur, Svið, The World’s Saddest Cuisines, Whale Blubber
“The only thing that can make beer even better is the knowledge that a living creature died so I can drink it.”
~American Beer Drinkers
Beer is wonderful. We love beer. You love beer. Everyone loves beer. Well, except for Sharon, but seriously, Sharon is the worst. Like, every time she opens her mouth, just, ugh. Sharon. Fuck Sharon. But horray beer (Horray beer!) As a nation, America spends an obscene-yet-appropriate amount of time, money, and effort into making new, exciting, and dangerously alcoholic beers for us to punish our livers with. If we spent the energy we exert on beer innovation on, say, space travel, we probably would have settled colonies on dozens of planets by now. But are planets delicious, refreshing, and able to get you absolutely trashed? No, of course they can’t, they’re just stupid hunks of rock. They’re practically the opposite of beer, so why should we give them the time of day? That’s right, we shouldn’t, we’ve got a new session beer to try. We’ve got our priorities straight, is what we’re trying to say.
Seeing as the beer brewing business favors the bold and encourages risk taking, as well as being largely stocked with red-blooded American heroes, it should come as no surprise that there are a dearth of beers that include honest-to-God animal parts in the brewing process. Because we like our beer like we like our women: swirling in a vat surrounded by chunks of creatures that once had a fully functioning nervous system. Um, wait. Let’s try that again…
Meatbeer: 12 Beers Brewed With Animal Meat
Posted in Beer!, Strange America, Strange Foods
Tagged America, Bacon beer, Bavarian Purity Law, beef heart, Beer, brewing beer, Brooklyn Brewery, burke in the bottle, cock ale, conwy brewery, David Burke, Dock Street Brewing company, earth eagle brewings, elephant poop, Goat brain beer, Goddamn It Japan You're Doing it Wrong, gruit, iceland, lamb beer, Meatbeer, pig head beer, Reinheitsgebot, right brain brewery, Rocky Mountain Oyster, rocky mountain oyster stout, Rogue Ale, Sam Adams, samuel adams, Sankt Gallen Brewery, smoked beer, strange beer, The Walking Dead, Un Kono Kuro, Uncommon Brewers, Voodoo Doughnut Maple Bacon Ale, whale beer, Willimantic Brewing Company, Wynkoop Brewery