“This is madness. Delicious, bourbon-y madness.”
When an American distillery makes a bourbon, they’re left with two things—many bottles of delicious drunk juice, and a barrel that set them back $120 that can’t be reused but is still saturated with delicious bourbon flavor. As in, legally, you cannot reuse a bourbon barrel to make another bourbon. It’s a one-and-done proposition. So, for decades, bourbon barrels were either discarded or sold to college students,
Then, in 1992, an at-the-time-relatively-unknown Chicago brewery called Goose Island released a beer called the Bourbon County Stout, and this happened. Before eventually being bought out by Budweiser in an acquisition that was lamented on this very page, the concept of re-using bourbon barrels on products besides other whiskeys began to grow with Bourbon County Stout’s increasing popularity, and in the past several years we’ve not only seen dozens of beers that spend time aging in used bourbon barrels appear on the market, we’ve seen dozens of completely non-beer-related products that spend time in bourbon barrels got up for sale. Literally dozens.
The wisest and most magnanimous among us know that adding bourbon to anything makes it delicious and American, and we can literally think of nothing that isn’t improved by the introduction of bourbon. Have an empty glass and the distinct feeling you’ve wasted the last 15 years of your life? Boom, put some bourbon in there and watch your worries melt away. It’s 3AM and the last woman left at the bar looks like a goblin who manages a Wal-Mart? Bam, bourbon yourself up, next thing you know you’ll swear you’re taking home 1998-era Cindy Crawford. Your new baby from the aforementioned ill-advised union won’t shut up and you’ve got a hangover? Boo-ya, drunk babies don’t cry, that’s fucking science. So with that in mind, we’re going to list of fifteen products that, on their own are good, but when aged in bourbon, are incredible. (Except for a few gross ones).
Fifteen Bourbon Barrel-Aged Products of America
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Posted in Alcohol, Giver of Life, Whiskey and Bourbon
Tagged angel's share, barrel-aged, barrel-aged beer, BLiS, Bloody Mary, Bloody Marys, Bourbon, bourbon barrel, bourbon barrel-aged cocktails, bourbon barrels, Bourbon County Stout, bourbon hot sauce, cigar, Cigars, cocktails, Corazon, fish sauce, Gin, goose the market, Hot Sauce, hot toddy, irish coffee, kikkoman, maple syrup, Meat, Perdomo, smoking goose, Sosu, soy sauce, Sriracha, Tea, tequila, the angel's share, vanilla extract, Whiskey, Worcestershire sauce
“How many beers must a man down, before you can call him a man?”
A wise man once said, “Shut up I don’t care if you ran out of introductions to do for this weekly beer news gimmick, just have one of the interns jot down a random sentence once he’s done with his AFFotD sanctioned cage match. You can tell him I made you do it, me, Johnny Roosevelt, editor-in-chief of America Fun Fact of the Day.” We’re pretty sure it was Ghandi, but the real quotation attribution has been lost to time. Anyway, beer time.
This Week In Beer: November 12th Edition
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Posted in America Fun Fact of the Day
Tagged America, Annie Kuster, Beer, Blackhawks, Cigars, Drunk Turkey, Germany, Hockey, New Hampshire, Sam Adams, This Week In Beer, Turkey
“It’s simple kids, if you drink and smoke and eat and screw as much as me? Well, kiddos, someday you’ll be just as good at sports!”
There’s something about baseball that resonates with America. Maybe it’s memories of sitting at the ballpark, drinking a beer while scarfing down eight hot dogs after forging a sick note for your third grade teacher. Maybe it’s memories of suspenseful chess matches between evenly matched teams, the thrill of finding your team in the bottom of the 9th inning with two outs and the bases loaded. Maybe it’s your appreciation for the nuances of the “balk” rule. It isn’t that last one.
But more importantly, the players that the sport grew up around were America incarnate. Baseball was a sport where a you could take a man with the name “Mordecai,” chop off two of his fingers, and have him pitch for the Chicago Cubs, and not only would he thrive, he would win two world series and be a hall of famer despite looking like he should work behind the counter at a convenience store in the south.
This is the face of a man who has struck out 1,375 professional sports players.
But really, many of baseball’s greats helped express what was truly American about us. Ted Williams was a patriotic war veteran whose interests included batting .400 and having his head cryogenically frozen. Like America. Rumor has it that Joe DiMaggio married the hottest woman in the world at the time primarily so he could say that he was “Dick cousins” with JFK. Like every American would. Ty Cobb was a horrible racist who once beat up a cripple. Uh, forget that we mentioned that last one.
But what ballplayer was more patriotic than both a deformed Indiana pitcher and a Georgian bigot combined? How about an overeating, alcoholic fat man with a sex problem and a tobacco addiction. No, we’re not talking about the gay love child of Uncle Sam and George Washington, we are of course talking about…
Babe “you’re next, sweetheart” Ruth.
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Posted in Athletes
Tagged Alcohol, America, Babe Ruth, Baseball, Cigars, JFK, Joe DiMaggio, John F. Kennedy, Marilyn Monroe, Mordecai Brown, Tim Lincecum, Ty Cobb