“This is madness. Delicious, bourbon-y madness.”
When an American distillery makes a bourbon, they’re left with two things—many bottles of delicious drunk juice, and a barrel that set them back $120 that can’t be reused but is still saturated with delicious bourbon flavor. As in, legally, you cannot reuse a bourbon barrel to make another bourbon. It’s a one-and-done proposition. So, for decades, bourbon barrels were either discarded or sold to college students,
Then, in 1992, an at-the-time-relatively-unknown Chicago brewery called Goose Island released a beer called the Bourbon County Stout, and this happened. Before eventually being bought out by Budweiser in an acquisition that was lamented on this very page, the concept of re-using bourbon barrels on products besides other whiskeys began to grow with Bourbon County Stout’s increasing popularity, and in the past several years we’ve not only seen dozens of beers that spend time aging in used bourbon barrels appear on the market, we’ve seen dozens of completely non-beer-related products that spend time in bourbon barrels got up for sale. Literally dozens.
The wisest and most magnanimous among us know that adding bourbon to anything makes it delicious and American, and we can literally think of nothing that isn’t improved by the introduction of bourbon. Have an empty glass and the distinct feeling you’ve wasted the last 15 years of your life? Boom, put some bourbon in there and watch your worries melt away. It’s 3AM and the last woman left at the bar looks like a goblin who manages a Wal-Mart? Bam, bourbon yourself up, next thing you know you’ll swear you’re taking home 1998-era Cindy Crawford. Your new baby from the aforementioned ill-advised union won’t shut up and you’ve got a hangover? Boo-ya, drunk babies don’t cry, that’s fucking science. So with that in mind, we’re going to list of fifteen products that, on their own are good, but when aged in bourbon, are incredible. (Except for a few gross ones).
Fifteen Bourbon Barrel-Aged Products of America
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Posted in Alcohol, Giver of Life, Whiskey and Bourbon
Tagged angel's share, barrel-aged, barrel-aged beer, BLiS, Bloody Mary, Bloody Marys, Bourbon, bourbon barrel, bourbon barrel-aged cocktails, bourbon barrels, Bourbon County Stout, bourbon hot sauce, cigar, Cigars, cocktails, Corazon, fish sauce, Gin, goose the market, Hot Sauce, hot toddy, irish coffee, kikkoman, maple syrup, Meat, Perdomo, smoking goose, Sosu, soy sauce, Sriracha, Tea, tequila, the angel's share, vanilla extract, Whiskey, Worcestershire sauce
“Guys, you have to stop. Even I think this is starting to get out of hand.”
~AFFotD Editor-In-Chief, Johnny Roosevelt
Back in 2012, we sent our staff across the country to track down the most inventive Bloody Marys in America. The reasons behind this should be readily apparent. After all, Bloody Marys are delicious, they encourage day drinking, and they help take the edge off after especially rough visits from the weekend hangover doctor. We were able to find Bloodies that ranged from the decadent and extreme (garnished with ½ a pound of lobster, or with a ¼ of a bacon cheeseburger, for example) to strange and futuristic (Bloody Mary bites?) but all in all, looking back on it, the fact that “using pepper-infused tequila instead of vodka” was enough for us to consider it “crazy” and “cutting edge” is pretty cute. Oh how naive we once we, how innocent. That’s because those past few years have seen the Bloody Mary go from “happy morning drunk juice with some celery or pickles and maybe a hunk of sausage to nibble on while you drink” to “insane carnival concoction that, oh sure we guess this full meal on a stick is going to be precariously bobbing up and down in some tomato juice and booze, but honestly look we stuck a whole fucking slider on there now pay us $10.”
With “absurd Bloody Marys” officially becoming the latest arms race in American excess and awesomeness, we’ve decided to sort through the contenders for the most insane Bloody Marys in recent history if for no other reason than to show how far we’ve evolved since that moment two years ago where “a gin Bloody Mary garnished with shrimp” was something we reported about with breathless excitement, as opposed to now where we see such things and offer a jaded, “well, that’s a pretty tasty way to get drunk enough to make your Monday hard to get through.” Because why just get day drunk when you can get day drunk while playing a complex game of Jenga with dozens of skewered food stuffs?
America’s Newest Insane Bloody Marys
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Posted in Strange Alcohol
Tagged $60 Checkmate, Absurd Bloody Marys, America, Best Bloody Marys, Bloody Ceasar, Bloody Mary, Bloody Marys, Bloody Masterpiece, Canada, Chicago, Chicago Style Hot Dog, Clamato, Craziest Bloody Marys, Dallas, Fuck Brunch Bloody Mary, Jimmy Green's, Jimmy Green’s Stoli Jumbo Bloody Mary, Milwaukee, O’Davey’s Bloody Mary, Sliders, Sobelmans, Sumo Mary, Sunda, vodka, Wisconsin, Wisconsin Bloody Mary