“Oh you son of a bitch.”
~Teetotalers We’ve Tricked Into Eating Alcoholic Food
Around these parts, our staff has a potentially unhealthy infatuation with combining two of the most American forms of consumption—eating and drinking—into inventive ways to get drunk without even having to drink anything. Why do we want to take drinking out of the equation? We don’t, drinking is wonderful, but we feel that there’s no such thing as too many ways to cram alcohol into your poor decisions, which is why we’re always around to champion such innovations as deep fried alcohol, and also why we’re going to try to be the first people to get hospitalized by eating that new powdered alcohol stuff straight from the box, just the powder.
Now, we’ve previously talked about food being used to make alcohol—specifically, meat beers that are brewed with actual animal meat, because ha ha vegetarians your lifestyle is one that our evolution has actively discouraged. Now it’s only fitting to go the other direction, and talk about alcohol being used to make food. All of these meals and desserts exist in America for your consumption, created by heroes who looked at a dinner plate and thought, “You know what? Let’s get drunk off that, no matter how weird of an idea it might seem.”
America’s Strangest Alcohol-Infused Food Items
Posted in Alcohol, Giver of Life, Strange Alcohol
Tagged Alcohol, alcohol-infused, alcoholic food, alcoholic pizza, alcoholic sandwich, America, Booze, crunkcakes, cupcakes, Georgi vodka, King of Pops, pizza, popsicle, popsicles, Sandwich, sandwiches, Turkey, vodka, vodka-soaked turkey
“I’m honestly not sure if this is an ice cream headache or a hangover.”
~Americans currently pressing their tongues to the roofs of their mouths
Summer has officially come to an end, and as the hot, disgustingly sweaty nights of August brace to be replaced by the dreary, drinking-bourbon-alone-in-your-studio-apartment subzero evenings of February, we at AFFotD like to look back and think about all the products we could have told you about to make your summer better, but waited until the week where you finally reached below-freezing temperatures to tell you about them.
Basically, a lot of people have found a way to turn beer into a refreshing summer treat. And now you’ll have to wait a year until you get to enjoy them. Send all hate mail to the email address listed on the right. Come at us, bro.
Five Delicious Frozen Beer Treats For The Summer (Posted In The Fall)
Posted in Beer!
Tagged America, Beer, Beer Ice Cream, Beer Milkshake, beer popsicle, beer snow cones, Budweiser 55, Cannery Row, Fall, frozen beer foam, Frozen Pints, Ice Cream, John Steinbeck, Kirin Ichiban, Los Angeles Dodgers, Milkshake, popsicle, Red Robin, snow cones, summer