“A Realistic Objective.”
~An Actual Section of a 1959 Proposal To Establish A Permanent Moon Base by 1966.
The Space Race was definitely one of the coolest and silliest parts of the entire Cold War. Two Superpowers were tossing around ungodly sums of money to try to make the other nation look stupid due to not being as good at making really cool toys, but it was dealt with an honest-to-God level of severity that equated “Russia going to the moon before we do” as being probably an inevitable lead up to complete nuclear annihilation. Baby Boomers get a lot of (mostly deserved) flack for constantly complaining about how Millennials, and pretty much every younger generation, had it so much easier than they did and they take things for granted, but we’ll give them this—if we spent our entire childhoods with nuclear weapons literally pointed at our homes so often that we became this numb to the destruction of society, we’d probably feel it was within our rights to complain about how much people use smartphones now, too.
Anyway, when we talk about the existentially terrifying realities of the Cold War, the space race at least feels kind of innocent and, well, awesome. Sure, a lot of it has to do with the fact that we won (USA! USA!) but also because it was about science for the sake of invention, and not finding new, horrific ways to nuke each other into the stone age. The two most powerful economies at the time spent decades funneling obscene amounts of money into discovering more about our universe, and even when that didn’t always end up as incredible achievements in space travel such as these bad boys, it still resulted in us exploring every planet of the galaxy while accidentally coming up with some useful technology that we use to this day like laptops, dustbusters, and whatever technologies are on the second page of the article we just linked (we were too lazy to get past the first page).
That is to say, the Space Race represented American (and, ugh, occasionally Russian) ingenuity and a passion for discovery that transcended the whole, “Holy shit, we as a species survived more than five years of Lyndon B. Johnson having the ability to nuke the entire planet” scariness of that era. But the space race wasn’t all about peacefully sticking a middle finger in Communist Russia’s face by planting a flag on the moon and shouting, “FIRST!” We also had some sinister, if not very realistic, plans on using space for our military advantage. Like the time we tried to build a military base on the moon.
Project Horizon: The Time We Tried To Build A Military Base On The Moon
“Space is AWESOME!”
~Every American child
When you were a child, you’d look up at the stars and say, “Space is awesome!” Now, when you look up at the stars, you’ll either say, “Space is fucking awesome!” or, most likely, “Make everything stop spinning, oh God I’m gonna be sick, I shouldn’t have had that last shot.” And America, being awesome and having a particular interest in claiming awesome things for themselves, have never been shy about our aspirations to get out into the stars. Adjusted for inflation, we’ve spent roughly $790 billion since NASA opened up shop in 1958, an amount of money commonly referred to as, “Shut up, stupid, that’s not too much money, space is awesome.”
From Alan Shepard’s first suborbital flight to Sandra Bullock’s conversation with an Inuit, Americans have done more in space than any other nation. And while experiments, and feats of courage, and lunar travels are all well and good, there’s one thing we’re most concerned about.
What kinds of food have we shot out into space?
Dammit, this is important. No, we don’t care about your science, we want to know what kind of food people have shot up into space. This is important. Shut up, this is important.
Food Items America Has Launched Into Space
Posted in Strange Foods
Tagged America, Beer, bourbon into space, Buzz Aldrin, corned beef, Food, Hamburger, International Space Station, John Glenn, Outer Space, pizza, Space, Space Beer, space food, space pizza
“God bless you, Michigan.”
~Michigan residents who like to refer to their state in the third person
Our staff at America Fun Fact of the Day know we have one of the most important jobs in this nation—to keep our citizens informed of the best that America has to offer. Sometimes, we might deem it important that you know about badass presidents from the past, or just general badasses from our history, but more often than not this duty involves telling you about alcohol and fatty foods you should be putting in your body at all times. It’s our sworn charge, and we take it pretty seriously.
Which is why we’ve decided to create a weekly installment here on America Fun Fact of the Day to make sure that you area always up-to-date on one of the most important topics we can imagine. That’s right—beer. So strap yourself in, because we’re about to deliver the latest, most important beer news from the past week (or thereabouts). Because beer is serious business.
AFFotD Presents: This Week in Beer- Inaugural Edition
“I will punch you in the goddamn face if you besmirch Astronaut Ice Cream.”
While Russia may have been the first country to stick their dirty, probably frostbitten, grubby little fingers into the great pool of outer space, but America was the country that blindly cannonballed in there as we made it our bitch. Take that, comrades, how’s never going to the moon feel? Pretty shitty, huh?
While we might only now be finally catching up to the American dream of drinking a beer in space, we realized pretty early on in the game that it was important for us to feed our astronauts. So, of course, Americans have spent decades researching and determining what a select few can eat when they are floating in a tin can far above the world. Yes, this mental energy could have been spent on trivial things like “curing cancer” or “inventing a mayonnaise that won’t make bread soggy if it’s stored overnight” but, nope, we had to feed 500 people over a 50 year period. Damn straight we did! Astronauts get swag, you should know this by now. That’s why we’re here to present…
The American History of Space Food
“We’ll let you do the leg work, Australia. But then we’re totally stealing your idea.”
Every American child had a series of obsessions growing up. For children born in the 80’s, it started off with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. But once that began to fade away, American children focus their interests on Dinosaurs before finally settling on the most badass, expansive area of the Universe which America purchased from the Galaxy Indians for a crate of Legos.
That’s right, outer space is the final frontier, and one of the most impressive things that America has learned how to side-saddle. But despite our rich history of kicking space’s ass and shoving it down Russia’s throat, we’ve never managed to drink a beer in space.
And while it’s an Australian company, not America, that is developing a beer to drink on a flight to space in 2013, we know it’s just a matter of time before America grabs onto this idea. Also, you know that Americans are going to be the main ones taking advantage of it. And since we like to be trendsetters, you know we’ve started saving up our $95,000 to take advantage of this opportunity as soon as we can. But until then, we humbly present…
AFFotD News Item of the Month: Beer…IN SPACE!