Tag Archives: Space Beer

Food Items America Has Launched Into Space

“Space is AWESOME!”

~Every American child

galaxy

When you were a child, you’d look up at the stars and say, “Space is awesome!”  Now, when you look up at the stars, you’ll either say, “Space is fucking awesome!” or, most likely, “Make everything stop spinning, oh God I’m gonna be sick, I shouldn’t have had that last shot.”  And America, being awesome and having a particular interest in claiming awesome things for themselves, have never been shy about our aspirations to get out into the stars.  Adjusted for inflation, we’ve spent roughly $790 billion since NASA opened up shop in 1958, an amount of money commonly referred to as, “Shut up, stupid, that’s not too much money, space is awesome.”

From Alan Shepard’s first suborbital flight to Sandra Bullock’s conversation with an Inuit, Americans have done more in space than any other nation.  And while experiments, and feats of courage, and lunar travels are all well and good, there’s one thing we’re most concerned about.

What kinds of food have we shot out into space?

Dammit, this is important.  No, we don’t care about your science, we want to know what kind of food people have shot up into space.  This is important.  Shut up, this is important.

Food Items America Has Launched Into Space

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AFFotD News Item of the Month: Beer…IN SPACE!

“We’ll let you do the leg work, Australia. But then we’re totally stealing your idea.”

~America

Every American child had a series of obsessions growing up.  For children born in the 80’s, it started off with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  But once that began to fade away, American children focus their interests on Dinosaurs before finally settling on the most badass, expansive area of the Universe which America purchased from the Galaxy Indians for a crate of Legos.

That’s right, outer space is the final frontier, and one of the most impressive things that America has learned how to side-saddle.  But despite our rich history of kicking space’s ass and  shoving it down Russia’s throat, we’ve never managed to drink a beer in space.

Until now.

And while it’s an Australian company, not America, that is developing a beer to drink on a flight to space in 2013, we know it’s just a matter of time before America grabs onto this idea.  Also, you know that Americans are going to be the main ones taking advantage of it.  And since we like to be trendsetters, you know we’ve started saving up our $95,000 to take advantage of this opportunity as soon as we can.  But until then, we humbly present…

AFFotD News Item of the Month: Beer…IN SPACE!

 

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