Category Archives: American Heroes

America is filled with everyday heroes who help make this country great. By reading America Fun Fact of the Day, you’ve proven that you yourself are also an American hero. And we salute you.

But there’s no way in hell we’re going to salute you by making a fun fact about you, since this page is reserved for REAL heroes. You know, the people who are important enough to get wikipedia pages and such.

The History of the X-League Indoor Football League

Posted on March 13, 2015 | 5 comments

“The ‘X’ is for ‘EXTREME.’  What has happened to my life?”

~Michael Mink, CEO and Commissioner of X-League Indoor Football

x-league

This week, in celebration of National Professional American Indoor Football Week, which is a fake event that we made up to justify this whole enterprise, we have been writing extremely longwinded articles about various professional indoor football leagues and their teams.  This honestly-pretty-weird idea for a themed week of articles has seen us write about the Indoor Football League and the Professional Indoor Football League, both of which pay their players about $200 a game to sacrifice their bodies while possible over 100 bloodthirsty fans cheer for their demise like the gladiators of old.

While we already know way more about semiprofessional indoor football leagues than anyone really should (technically they’re “professional” because they get paid, but when we’re dealing with salaries this low, calling these leagues anything more than semiprofessional is like claiming to be an auto parts salesman because you once traded your old station wagon to Carmax) we’re going to that well one more time to tell you about the newest and, if we’re being perfectly honest, stupidest participant in the overcrowded arena football game.

No seriously, this gets kind of dumb.  Don’t say we didn’t warn you.  Anyway, let’s talk about…

The History of the X-League Indoor Football League

arena kickoff

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Posted in 20th Century Insanity, Athletes, Strange America

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The History of the Professional Indoor Football League

Posted on March 11, 2015 | 5 comments

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The History of The Indoor Football League

Posted on March 9, 2015 | 3 comments

“My boy plays in a football league!  He’s going to make it to the NFL one day, just like that Drew Brady!”

~The Mother of an Indoor Football League quarterback

ifl player

Two years ago, we talked about the American Indoor Football League, now just called “American Indoor Football”, a hilariously small, 10 team semi-professional football league that exists in such hotbed communities in dire need of a professional sports franchise such as Laurel, Maryland, the 25,000 population home of the defending AIFL champions, the Maryland Eagles.  We delved into the rich and honestly haphazard history of the league operating under the motto of “Fast Paced Family Fun” and gently prodded this league that probably doesn’t really need to exist.  We had a good time, and got to write about football in a way that doesn’t help Roger Goodell’s brand, so it really was a double win for us.

In a fit of nostalgia, we revisited this topic only to find that American Indoor Football is hardly alone in the field of “leagues of traveling semi-pro football teams getting paid peanuts to hit each other for the amusement of literally of dozens of fans.”  No, America is a land rich with high school varsity players just out of college desperate for a chance to relive their glory days, so we’re not content with simply one non-Arena-Football-League-knock-off.  And this week, we’re going to introduce you to three more.

That’s right, it’s National Professional American Indoor Football Week here in America (according to a sentence we just made up) so what better way to celebrate than to give three of these leagues (yup, we’ve got three distinct leagues here) their due, and introduce you to your new favorite teams to root for when your car breaks down in Sioux Falls and you just decide to shrug and start a new life there instead of paying for a new transmission.  First up—the inventively named Indoor Football League.

The History of The Indoor Football League

 look at all them fans Continue reading →

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Posted in 20th Century Insanity, Athletes, Strange America

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The 1778 American Invasion of Whitehaven, England

Posted on December 11, 2014 | 4 comments

“Yeah I’ll invade England, whatever, I do what I want, you ain’t the boss of me.”

~John Paul Jones

whitehaven

Considering that we wouldn’t have ended up becoming a country if the end result had gone a different way, it’s surprising how little about the Revolutionary War the average American is aware of.  We know about the Declaration of Independence, and Concord and Lexington at the start of things.  We know Bunker Hill.  We know that Benedict Arnold was an asshole, and that Nathanael Greene was a badass, and that Yorktown pretty much sealed the whole deal for us.  But apart from the founding fathers, and some iconic imagery of George Washington, when we think of the American Revolution we think of the early battles up until, say, Saratoga…and then, us eventually winning.

There were four years of war between Saratoga and Yorktown, and in general our history books kind of gloss over that period.  Pretty much the only people talking about that time period were, say, the screenwriters for The Patriot, and even with that you’d not immediately recall that the climax of that movie was 1781’s Battle of Cowpens.  We bring this up not to shame our history teachers—we get it, there’s a lot of important stuff to get through, and you might as well focus on the greatest hits—but rather to remind America that there was a lot of badassery going down in the American Revolution that gets swept under the rug.  We’re here to lift up that rug and show you those awesome, awesome dustballs.

Let’s talk about the time America invaded England.

The 1778 American Invasion of Whitehaven, England

 statue of whitehaven Continue reading →

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Posted in Miscellaneous America, Pre-1800 America, The Best of the Rest

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The Most Unfortunately Named Politicians To Ever Run For President

Posted on December 2, 2014 | Leave a comment

“Heh heh.  Cox.  I mean, Mr. Governer.”

~Presidential Debate Proctor, 1920

presidential seal

As we’ve established time and time again, we’re not the best at math, but as far as we can tell, America has been a country for over 150 years, and has had more than 40 presidents.  43 presidents maybe?  45?  Either way, it’s less than 50.  And that means that anytime you have the chance to become the President of the Most Powerful Country In The World (pre-2008 division), your name will be in the history books, even if it’s just as a footnote.

The problem with being a part of history is that the first and, in some cases only, thing that we see in a history book is the name of the person.  Yes, we know that George Washington had fake teeth and liked to stand up on boats, but the first thing we register about him is his name.  George Washington.  A strong, authoritative name that screams “Presidential.”  Now not all of our Presidents were blessed with such a fitting name (looking at you, Herbert Hoover) but they at least managed to have names that didn’t actively get in the way of their political gains.

Which is why we’re here to focus on those whose name did get in the way.  The Presidential candidates that got their names on the ballots, failing to realize that maybe they should have changed their name before making the entire population read their name in the polling booth and suppress a giggle.  That’s why we present for you…

The Most Unfortunately Named Politicians To Ever Run For President

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Posted in The Best of the Rest, The Other Guys

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The 10 Greatest Drinkers in American History

Posted on September 10, 2014 | 3 comments

“Wait, if I’m not on this list, then it’s clearly bullshit.”

~Every AFFotD staff member

Oliver Reed, September 1979.

Alcohol is a lot like sex—90% of the population really enjoys it, and they’re all kinda made uncomfortable by the 10% that doesn’t.  We at America Fun Fact of the Day make it our mission to celebrate alcohol and the Americans who drink it.  For example, everyone reading this has consumed alcohol at some point within the past week—we managed to make a teetotaler firewall that automatically directs people that don’t drink to the google image results page for the search “third degree burn + penis.”

We of course celebrate alcohol in its many incarnations here, as well as the great consumers of alcohol.  Naturally, America is a great nation of great drinkers, and trying to find, say, the ten best drinkers in American history would be a foolish act of hubris, almost offensive to the very same Americans you are attempting to tribute.  So let’s list the ten greatest drinkers in American history.

The 10 Greatest Drinkers in American History

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Posted in Alcohol, Giver of Life, American Heroes, Drinkers

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Harry Randall Truman: Unsuccessful Volcano Dodger

Posted on August 28, 2013 | 3 comments

“Volcano Schmolcano.”

~Harry Randall Truman

 harry randall truman

Harry Truman was born in 1884.  He served in World War I before going into politics, where he became the 33rd President of the United States.  He held that office from 1945 to 1953, and he died at the age of 88 in 1972 in Kansas City, Missouri.  Harry Randall Truman was born twelve years later in West Virginia, also served in World War I, and went on to live a pretty similar life to his presidential namesake, only instead of leading the free world, he lived in a cabin near Mount St. Helens with 16 cats and got buried under hundreds of feet of mountain debris after stubbornly refusing to leave his home during the nation’s deadliest volcano eruption.  So, they’re pretty much the same dude.

And while there are hundreds of books about President Truman, there’s less literature on Harry Randall Truman, the man who became famous for a few months for saying, “Fuck you, volcano, come at me, bro,” until the volcano, you know.  Came at him.  Bro.  So let’s take a moment to recognize a proud American who loved his home while failing to fully comprehend how volcanoes worked.

Harry Randall Truman:  Unsuccessful Volcano Dodger

 mt. st. helens Continue reading →

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Posted in Fuck Nature, The Best of the Rest

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America’s Best (And Worst) Cheer Squad Team Names

Posted on May 16, 2013 | 1 comment

“I feel more connected to my team and engaged in this sporting event for reasons totally unrelated to arousal!”

~American Males Watching Cheerleaders at a Sporting Event

Nothing celebrates the flower of American womanhood quite like cheerleading.  We take athletic, energetic, scantily clad women, and have them hypnotize predominantly male audiences at sporting events into learning how to spell team names.  We also decided to create a bitter, occasionally violent, rivalry between them and girl volleyball players, because hey, cat fight.  It’s a beautiful tradition that our nation embraces wholeheartedly, and it’s what separates us from the goddamn Europeans. However, the names of most of these teams are so embarrassing that those of us with a weak stomach for poorly misplaced puns sometimes question if it’s even worth it.  That’s why we’re here, with the help of some outside research from an intrepid AFFotD supporter who felt that “the people HAVE to know” to run down the best and worst of the Cheer Squad names in America.  Well, it’s more like the so-so and the worst.  Okay most of them are just plain awful.  Let’s move on and post some pictures of women not wearing a lot of clothing to skyrocket the page views for this sucker then, shall we?

America’s Best (And Worst) Cheer Squad Team Names

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The Six Most Badass Bear Attack Survival Stories

Posted on August 21, 2012 | 5 comments

“Fuuuuuuuu….”

~You, meeting a bear

We’re not gonna front, bears are menacing as shit.  They’re giant balls of muscle, teeth, and claws, and while they’re thankfully fairly allergic to bullets and C. Dale Petersens, they’ve been known to wreck American’s shit for as long as there have been people who like to spend time in the woods.  According to the bible, all animals have no souls and therefore cannot go to heaven.  Bears are the only creatures in the animal kingdom that have ever heard and understood this concept, and they view it as a free pass to be as bloodthirstily murderous as possible.  Most bears spent their formative years familiarizing themselves with the concept of negative numbers just so they could properly express how few shits they give when it comes to messing you up.

While many of us will go our whole lives never seeing a bear that hasn’t been stuffed and mounted with the words “fuck you, bear” shaved into its chest, we still know enough to hate, fear, and begrudgingly respect the one animal that can inspire grown men to do this.   That’s why, whenever we hear of ordinary Americans doing the tango de la muerta against these homicidal beasts, we have no choice but to react with a strong sense of admiration (and perspiration).  So, needless to say, these following Americans can safely claim that they are more fearless than anyone reading this.

The Six Most Badass Bear Attack Survival Stories

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The Greatest Hits of Gary Busey’s Twitter Feed

Posted on April 24, 2012 | 2 comments

“Gary Busey!”

~Gary Busey

Gary Busey is an American actor who is equal parts teeth and motorcycle accident, an Academy Award nominated thespian who has been working in Hollywood for the last 40 years.  He also looks like he pooped his pants, but is kind of proud about it, in every picture that’s been taken of him in the past 20 years.  The man needs no introduction, as he has been the toothy madman of Hollywood for as long as we can remember, and we’d not have it any other way.

We bring that up because we had an office party here at AFFotD headquarters last night, the theme of which was apparently (we think) “drink so much that you don’t remember what the theme of the party was supposed to be.”  So our staff is pretty out of sorts at the moment, and when we need a hangover pick-me-up, we like to google Gary Busey.  It might seem random and confusing, but when you stumble onto sites like this, you sort of realize the joy of doing this.

Well, today we found something magical.  We found the official twitter feed of Gary Busey.  It’s exactly what you’d expect from a famous crazy person with brain damage, and nothing would make us happier than to pool together our hungover resources to dig through each inane 140-character-or-less ramble and pick out the best for you, the (we’re assuming) hungover American.

You’re welcome.

The Greatest Hits of Gary Busey’s Twitter Feed

“Hi, I’m Gary Busey, I’ll be your caterpillar today.”

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