Category Archives: AFFotD Special Features

“Thank God they’re finally getting to New York on this list.  New York doesn’t get enough written about it.  New York is the most important city in the most important state in the most important country in the world, and they’d better give it it’s due.  Honestly, just knowing that AFFotD is going to write about the most American aspect of New York gives me chills, because I can’t fathom how they could limit it to JUST one thing!  New York is THE cultural hotbed of the nation.  If it weren’t for New York, we WOULDN’T HAVE ANY CULTURE!  I honestly don’t see why you’d live anywhere else.  Sure, some people might rag on us, say we come off as entitled and just because we pay a thousand dollars to live in a closet space in Manhattan doesn’t make us better than anyone else, but to them I’d say that if you can make it here, you can make it ANYWHERE.  And if you don’t like the New York attitude, you clearly just don’t like being a winner.  New York has the best food in the nation, it has the best theater in the nation, all the best TV shows and movies are filmed here, our women are more attractive than your women, our men are more successful than your men, our babies’ shit has a less unpleasant consistency than your babies’ shit, if you’re in New York you know it’s for a reason, and it’s because you’re the cream of the crop, the best America has to offer.  And I’m not talking about those mindless drones tittering around Central Park with their cameras and their Kansas City notions, I’m talking about REAL New Yorkers.  The Lawyers in Manhattan, the Graphic Designers in Brooklyn, the…well I don’t know anyone who lives in Queens, but I do know that you, right now, wish you were us, and I don’t blame you.  Oh man, I’m so excited to see what they pick out as the most American part of New York.  You have no idea.  It better not be the Statue of Liberty, because that’s just for fucking tourists.  Maybe it’ll be that our parties NEVER stop, I mean, we ARE the city that never sleeps after all.  Man.  So excited.  New York is the greatest.  I’m the greatest.  Yeah.  I’m so great.”

~A randomly surveyed New Yorker

PART THREE

As you may have no doubt surmised, we’re diving head first into part three of our epic ten-part series, The American States of America, where we list the most American quality of each state, and you deflate a bit with disappointment when you read what we have to say about where you’re from.  As we list each state in order of when they were admitted to the union, this will mark the first of our series where we start talking about states that weren’t among the original 13 colonies.  We know, pretty wild stuff.  Anyway, you’re clearly excited for the first state in this batch, so we’ll just get to it.

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