“We have hookers, gambling, and no actual open container laws. Oh sorry, is that the sound of you booking a ticket?”
~Residents of Las Vegas
PART EIGHT
When one of our readers asked us to list every state in America and tell him the most American part about each one, he expected an email with a list of fifty sentences like “Illinois gets you fat” and “New Yorkers don’t like us anymore because of how much we made fun of them in this article series.” What he didn’t expect was 10,000 words spread out over seven articles with the promise of writing three more no matter how many emails we get saying things like, “Pleeease, just stop, we don’t care what you think, go back to writing about expensive vodka or something” and, “I don’t appreciate all these Texas jokes, you’re dead motherfucker.”
Well, we have ten more states, which means we have ten more chances to make a bad impression. So let’s start with…