Tag Archives: Oregon

Five Americans Hilariously Drunk At College Football Games

“Go beer, let’s win some vomit!”

~College Game Day Crowds

gameday crowd

College is a special time in an American’s life where getting shitcanned drunk every night makes you a party rock star, and not someone who ever has family and friends set them aside to say “we’re really worried about your drinking, you say you do it as research for that website you write, but all of your friends who write at that job are degenerate drunks and we don’t want to see you continue this tailspin that you’re in.”

Of course, of the many college traditions that have been meticulously documented in dozens of educational documentary “National Lampoon” films, there is one that remains timeless, and is as acceptable at age 80 as it is at age 20- getting sloppy drunk to watch 19 year old football players get paid nothing to beat the ever-loving shit out of each other.  Students and alumni alike can gather on game day, drink, and scream, “KILL HIM KILL BREAK THAT 19 YEAR OLD BOY’S LEG AND TAKE AWAY HIS FUTURE LIVELIHOOD WE’RE DOWN BY THREE” in harmony (well, the kind of harmony that tends to involve a lot of “getting into fights with fans of the opposing team”).

As we approach the one-month mark for the 2013 NCAA football season, we’d like to take a step back and appreciate some Americans who knew how to respond to a loud, bustling, social situation with remarkable composure and baaaahaha no we’re just pulling your legs, here’s a list of some hilariously drunk college football fans.

Five Americans Hilariously Drunk At College Football Games

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The American States Of America: The Most American Qualities Of Every State (Part 7 of 10)

“Don’t worry, we’re not going to actually read this.  We honestly don’t care.”

~Current residents of California

america states of america

PART SEVEN

At this point, there’s not much more we can do to prepare you for this segment.  If you’ve been reading from the beginning of the series, you know that we’re going through every state to list their most American quality.  If you don’t know we’re doing that, hi there, sort of weird that you found this page after googling “Blake Lively Bestiality Sex Video” and you might want to talk to a professional about that particular fetish, but otherwise you can go back to the beginning of this series by clicking here.  Or you can just keep reading as we list the 31st through the 35th state to join this fine Union.  Starting with…

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