“My…heart…tell my family…I died happy…”
~Iowa and Minnesota State Fair Food Critic
Here at America Fun Fact of the Day, we take great pride in the American practice of taking a (usually unhealthy) food and dunking it in bubbling oil until it becomes a borderline public health risk. And as much as we love fried food, we also love its brother, random unhealthy shit we decided to make for a State Fair. Most fried food innovations come from our State Fairs, which follows the fairly American logic of “well if we’re going to try to force Americans to get outside and walk around, we should probably entice them with the ability to eat a deep fried version of something they’ve never eaten fried before.”
2015 has been no exception to this rule, with the Iowa and Minnesota state fairs coming out with lists of their brand new, never seen before unhealthy food items that we are so excited to try as an excuse to test out that new defibrillator we just bought. Oh, and we might as well let you know about some of the more ridiculous ones too.
The Best (Or Weirdest) New Fried Foods At the 2015 Iowa and Minnesota State Fairs
Posted in Fried Foods
Tagged America, Bacon, Burger Dog, Fried Apple Pie, Fried Foods, fried nacho balls, fried ribs, Hamburger, Hot Dog, hot tail, Iowa, Iowa State Fair, Mac and Cheese, mac and cheese cupcake, Minnesota State Fair, Nachos, pies, pig tail, ribs, Sara's Tipsy Pies, State Fair, tipsy pies, Ultimate Bacon Brisket Bomb, Ultimate Bacon Explosion
“It’s been so long since we’ve talked about fried foods, my Cholesterol levels have almost gone done to healthy levels. Almost.”
~AFFotD Food Critic, John Goodman
Fried food. Crunchy goodness. Grease’s children. The culinary manifestation of a fat man punching himself in the heart. Whatever you call it, battering food and dipping it in boiling oil is as American as apple pie, assuming that you battered the apple pie and immersed it in boiling oil beforehand. We’ve documented the cutting edge of American fried foods six times before, but it’s been about a year since we’ve sat down and scoured the dumpsters of our nation’s state fairs to find the latest in delicious food that technically can be considered a murder weapon in several of our more obese states. And that is far too long to go without terrifyingly complex fried foods.
So grab onto your nutritionist’s desperate letters urging you to, “Stop, for the love of God, do you have a death wish?” because things are about to get a little unhealthy.
America’s Craziest Fried Foods: 2013 Edition
Posted in Fried Foods
Tagged America, Bacon, Bacon Cinnamon Roll, Cheetos, Cinnamon Roll, Doritos, Fried Food, Fried Foods, Jambalaya, Jelly Beans, picnic, State Fair, texas state fair
“It’s magnificent. It’s glorious. I can see a beautiful shining light. I’m heading towards it.”
~Every American With A Pre-Existing Heart Condition Eating Any Item On This List
Doughnuts. They’re so hot right now. Doughnuts. While doughnuts have been fattening Americans up under the guise of “Breakfast” for hundreds of years, they’ve recently experience a renaissance among those brave individuals who like to intake their sugary carbs in savory or alcoholic forms. We now live in a world where any doughnut shop that doesn’t make a maple bacon doughnut is full of shit, and if you’ve never tried a doughnut covered in fruit loops you’re not legally allowed to vote in Oregon.
What once was just a simple fried dough confectionery for the masses has now evolved farther than it was ever intended, sort of like New Jersey. But unlike New Jersey, the vast majority of the strange, bewildering doughnut products that we’re being exposed to are actually delicious, enjoyable, and something you’d consider taking home to your parents. Your fat parents. From the fat side of your family. That you eat fatty foods with. Just…fat…fat… JUST LISTEN THIS IS A LIST OF SANDWICHES MADE WITH DOUGHNUTS YOU KNOW YOU ARE GOING TO EAT THEM RIGHT NOW FAT FAT ALL AT ONCE FAT FAT FATTIE SOO-WEE SOO-WEE OINK OINK OINK!!!!! oh wow, Jesus Christ, we don’t know what happened there. We started looking at our research for this article, and everything went red for a second, and when we woke up we were covered in jam somehow. God, we hope it’s jam.
Anyway, the 2010s have been a revolutionary time for people who like doughnuts, but hate the fact that you can’t buy them with additionally unhealthy foods in the middle. And they’ve gone out of their way to correct this oversight by making…
America’s 7 Craziest Doughnut Sandwiches
Posted in Fried Foods, Strange Foods
Tagged America, “Chicken” Charlie Boghosian, Breakfast Sandwich, Donut, Doughnut Sandwich, Doughnuts, Dunkin Doughnuts, Grilled Cheese, KFC, KFC Double Down, Krispy Kreme, Lady's Brunch Burger, Luther, Luther Burger, Midnight Snack, Monte Cristo, Paula Deen, Pulled Pork, Sandwhich, Sloppy Joe, State Fair
“I’m from here *points to arbitrary point on hand*”
~Every Michigan resident
At this point, you likely are familiar with the setup here. The American States of America takes each and every state, one by one, and tells you their most American quality. Some states are great at drinking. Some are great at inventing fatty foods. We’re pretty sure one of them leads the nation in motorcycle-riding-obese-Dwarfs per capita. We don’t know what state that is, but we want to go there right the fuck now. But until then, we’ll just focus on the things that make the following American states so damn American.
Posted in The American States of America!
Tagged America, America States Of America, American States of America, Beer, Cheese Curds, Florida, Iowa, Mars Cheese Castle, michigan, New Glarus, Red Dawn, State Fair, Texas, Wisconsin
“Okay, okay, cool it with the fried foods, my…my chest, my chest hurts, it really hurts…”
~AFFotD Food Critic, John Goodman
We’ve made it a habit to go out of our way to tell you about fried foods that most people would consider “impossible” or “an abomination” or “as a professional cardiologist, I think it is criminally irresponsible for you to be consuming this much fried food.” That’s because as soon as we tell you about a new, insane fried food (fried beer, anyone?) some glorious American decides to fry something even more insane (like, say, a frozen margarita).
This is called capitalism (also obesity) and it is the reason why this country is great. It’s with that spirit in mind that we present to you even more American glory, with…
America’s Fried Foods: Part 6