~AFFotD Food Critic John Goodman
As we’ve established on numerous occasions, Japan approaches American-based junk food and beverages the same way Lennie approaches puppies in Of Mice and Men. We’ve even let you know about the terrible, unspeakable things that Japan likes to do to our potato chips. Of course, that’s just the beginning. Japanese food sort of adheres to a subset of Rule 34. By that we mean to say, we could type some random combination of disgusting words and it’ll exist in Japan, and be terrifying. Don’t believe us? Let’s see…uh, octopus soda.
…Oh dear God, what have we done?
So with that in mind, it’s time for us to take our periscope of terrifying food abominations towards Japan’s interpretation of the delicious Takis rival, Cheetos. Which, as always, leads us to exclaim…
Goddamn it Japan, You’re Doing it Wrong: Cheetos
Posted in Japan
Tagged America, Butter Soy, cheeseburger, Cheetos, Doritos, Frito-Lay, Goddamn It Japan You're Doing it Wrong, Japan, Pepsi, Pollock Eggs, strawberry, Takis, Weird Food
“It’s been so long since we’ve talked about fried foods, my Cholesterol levels have almost gone done to healthy levels. Almost.”
~AFFotD Food Critic, John Goodman
Fried food. Crunchy goodness. Grease’s children. The culinary manifestation of a fat man punching himself in the heart. Whatever you call it, battering food and dipping it in boiling oil is as American as apple pie, assuming that you battered the apple pie and immersed it in boiling oil beforehand. We’ve documented the cutting edge of American fried foods six times before, but it’s been about a year since we’ve sat down and scoured the dumpsters of our nation’s state fairs to find the latest in delicious food that technically can be considered a murder weapon in several of our more obese states. And that is far too long to go without terrifyingly complex fried foods.
So grab onto your nutritionist’s desperate letters urging you to, “Stop, for the love of God, do you have a death wish?” because things are about to get a little unhealthy.
America’s Craziest Fried Foods: 2013 Edition
Posted in Fried Foods
Tagged America, Bacon, Bacon Cinnamon Roll, Cheetos, Cinnamon Roll, Doritos, Fried Food, Fried Foods, Jambalaya, Jelly Beans, picnic, State Fair, texas state fair
“What’s that? 100th day of the year? Sure you can use that as a reason to drink today. You know what else you can use as a reason? THIS IS AMERICA DAMMIT!”
~Johnny Roosevelt, Editor-in-Chief of AFFotD
Today is April 10th, which sources tell us, is the 100th day of the year. So, if your 2011 has been great, or terrible, either way that’s a cause to drink. And as as result, we’re going to do something very special at the America Fun Fact of the Day offices here today. We are going to let a separate AFFotD staffer inform you of what happened on previous April 10ths in America. Except most of them will be in various states of drunk. Don’t worry, we’ll let you know who you’re hearing from, and how much they’ve had to drink, and hopefully they’ll have done their research well enough that they’re not just drunkenly pulling shit out of their asses.
But then again, we can’t make any promises.
So, without further ado, here is…
The American History of April 10th in America (As Remembered By Drunk Americans)
Posted in Today in American History
Tagged 80's Music, Absinthe, AFFotD, Alcohol, America, Andrew Jackson, Benjamin Franklin, Cheetos, Chicago Blackhawks, Civil War, Don't Stop Believing, Drunk, Drunk Staff, Dueling, Eighteen Hundred and Froze to Death, Four Loko, Great Gatsby, Johnny Roosevelt, Journey, Mount Tambora, Patent System, Pittsburgh, Robert E. Lee, Stanley Cup, Super Volcano, The Wire, The Year Without a Summer, Titanic, Today in American History, Trumpet Flame Thrower