“That’s no book. It’s a space station.”
America has a very tenuous relationship with books, and literacy in general. On one hand, you’re here, reading these words, and only about 25% of you have to slowly-mouth-out-the-words-as-you-read-along. But on the other hand, reading is hard. Hell, that’s why this page is covered with flags and bears and shit because look at the shiny things look at the shiny things thanks for the page click sorry there aren’t more side-boob slideshows for you.
The fact of the matter is, while many Americans appreciate a good book, and even spend their free time reading as opposed to, say, drinking and watching Netflix in whiskey haze, others think that books are for suckers. We’re not going to take a side on this topic, unless we write and subsequently try to sell a book, in which case, literature is awesome, RIP Borders you will be missed, long live Barnes and Noble.
But, as long as there has been literature, there have been works of literature that are soooooo long (“how long are they?”) they are soooo long… that it would take an incredible amount of time and patience to get through them.
Damn, we really thought there could be a joke in there. A joke about long books…long…something. Nope, we got nothing. Damn shame. Anyway, here are the longest books ever written by American authors.
The 7 Longest Books In America
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Posted in America Fun Fact of the Day
Tagged America, American History, Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand, Books, Carl Sandburg, David Foster Wallace, Great Gatsby, Harry Potter, illiteracy rokcs!, Infinite Jest, Joseph McElroy, Katharine Hepburn, Literature, long books, Marguerite Young, Remembrance Rock, Richard Kimball, Sirona Texas, Sufjan Stevens, Tad Williams, Texas, To Green Angel Tower, Women and Men, world's longest books
“What’s that? 100th day of the year? Sure you can use that as a reason to drink today. You know what else you can use as a reason? THIS IS AMERICA DAMMIT!”
~Johnny Roosevelt, Editor-in-Chief of AFFotD
Today is April 10th, which sources tell us, is the 100th day of the year. So, if your 2011 has been great, or terrible, either way that’s a cause to drink. And as as result, we’re going to do something very special at the America Fun Fact of the Day offices here today. We are going to let a separate AFFotD staffer inform you of what happened on previous April 10ths in America. Except most of them will be in various states of drunk. Don’t worry, we’ll let you know who you’re hearing from, and how much they’ve had to drink, and hopefully they’ll have done their research well enough that they’re not just drunkenly pulling shit out of their asses.
But then again, we can’t make any promises.
So, without further ado, here is…
The American History of April 10th in America (As Remembered By Drunk Americans)
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Posted in Today in American History
Tagged 80's Music, Absinthe, AFFotD, Alcohol, America, Andrew Jackson, Benjamin Franklin, Cheetos, Chicago Blackhawks, Civil War, Don't Stop Believing, Drunk, Drunk Staff, Dueling, Eighteen Hundred and Froze to Death, Four Loko, Great Gatsby, Johnny Roosevelt, Journey, Mount Tambora, Patent System, Pittsburgh, Robert E. Lee, Stanley Cup, Super Volcano, The Wire, The Year Without a Summer, Titanic, Today in American History, Trumpet Flame Thrower