“I’m not proud of it by no means but after that night and my hospital bills it would be nice to get something else out of it. Lol.”
Listen. We’re not exactly breakers of news around these parts. We hear about things, we let you know them, and we dig through the internet’s murkier basements to find about high alcohol beers or cotton candy flavored vodkas, but this isn’t exactly the Washington Post here. The closest we come to breaking news is when we purposely misrepresent a news article because we’re feeling like being kind of dickish that particular day. We’re not the kind of site that people go to when they want to be the first to hear about some Earth shattering development, though we’d not mind being the kind of site that people would offer free beers to so we can review them for them (hint hint, America).
That’s why we’re writing a quick AFFotD in order to tell you about an edit we recently made to one of our more popular article thanks to an email sent in by an intrepid reader. He informed us that our article, at the time listing the eight highest BAC readings of all time, was a bit inaccurate, because he had just the previous weekend drank himself to a healthy (editor’s note: no the opposite of that word you just used) 1.00 BAC, meaning that a full 1% of all the blood in his body was alcohol.
To put it in perspective, his BLOOD was about half as alcoholic as this beer.
Do we know if this is true? No. Is it true? Eh, we hope, maybe. He wanted us to use his real name, he gave us his details of the day (our main concerns are that he remembers what he drank a bit too well and, honestly, that the email address he sent to us lists a different name than the one he told us to use for the article). But we so rarely get a chance to break a story! So anyway, here is the story of Kentucky resident Robert Stewart, which is possibly his real name or it’s possibly someone who really likes Rob Stewart taking us for a fucking ride, but yeah. Our exclusive story about a 1.00 BAC.
Editor’s note: At this point it should go without saying that this is not something you should ever try to match, because you will die. Actively die. Not, ha ha, oh man, this much booze will kill you, ha ha ha, no we mean it, HALF of this booze is what most doctors refer to as a lethal fucking blood alcohol content, so, like, just drink until you black out and stop there, okay?
An AFFotd Exclusive: Robert Stewart and the 1.00 BAC