“Oh, Chicago? Al Capone! Ratt-att-att! Michael Jordon! Swoosh!”
~Foreigners upon hearing the word “Illinois”
We’ve spent the last 6,000 words on this site devoted to each and every slice of Americana as represented by the American traits of every American state. It’s not been an easy journey. After our half-hearted endorsement of Mississippi, someone snuck into our office and started putting antifreeze into our coffee maker in an effort to poison our staff. Luckily for us, the treatment of antifreeze poisoning is alcohol, and we’ve literally never had a cup of coffee that wasn’t at least 50% whiskey, but we still have come to recognize that you’re not going to please everyone when you set out to find the most American quality of each state. Except for Rhode Islanders. They were actually surprisingly pleased that we gave them a solid 350 words. We think they were lonely and just thankful for the attention.
So, we continue onward, marching from the states we all are intimately familiar with all the way through Wyoming. Do you know anyone from Wyoming? Didn’t think so. But you do know someone from the following state.
“Daddy, mom said that we’re supposed to call the police if you start drinking behind the wheel again.”
~How many times does daddy have to tell you kids to shut the hell up?
America is a glorious, sprawling land, with a lot of weird shit out there. As we’ve established in our first and second road trips through Midwestern America, the best part of driving through America is being able to stop and waste time at a whole variety of strange, exotic places. Except for that spider-car. That was terrifying as all shit.
After our last trip, which ended with several AFFotD staffers getting wasted at Mount Rushmore, we don’t really know what happened. When we eventually woke up, we all were missing one shoe, one sock, and the sleeves of our shirts had been cut off. Oh, also, our car was scattered around us in dozens of pieces. Or so we thought. Actually, our car was nowhere to be found. Turns out we’re in Alliance, Nebraska, where we were greeted with this sight.
Posted in American Road Trips
Tagged A Nice Place on the Trail, Alliance Nebraska, America, Arch, Aztec, birdie, Carhenge, Cherry Pies, Chevy Vega, Chillicothe, Dr. Seuss, Giant Beer, Giant Shoe made of Shoes, Hebron, Hobo, Hostel, Largest Time Capsule, Midwest, Missouri, Monopoly, Porch Swing, roadside attractions, Sewawrd, shuttlecock, Sliced Bread, The Butter Battle Book, Tim Burton, Trains, Uniroyal, Water Park, Wisconsin, Wisconsin Dells, World's Largest Pie Tin, World's Largest Porch Swing