“I don’t care what’s inside of it, just give me that burrito.”
Last week we scoured the nation to bring to your attention burritos filled with, oh, let’s say…non-conventional ingredients. We had octopus burritos, pho burritos, hell, even a doughnut burrito, and we came the a simple conclusion. No matter how strange the filling, the burrito still sounded delicious (with the possible exception of that doughnut one). Tortillas are pretty much the perfect vessel for anything delicious, and burritos utilize tortillas to the utmost extent.
But as it turns out, there are plenty of other weird, unusual, somehow-still-wonderous burritos in this fine nation. So we decided to order seconds to present to you…
More of America’s Weirdest, Strangest Burritos (That We’d Probably Eat)
Posted in America Fun Fact of the Day, America's Best Foods, Strange Foods
Tagged America, Brisket and Mac and Cheese Burrito, Burger King, Burrito, Burritos, Cap'n Crunch, Cotton Candy Burrito, Hot Cheetos burrito, Ninjas With Appetite, Ray's BBQ, Strange Burritos, Teriyaki Cheesesteak Burrito, Whopperito
“Nope nope nope nope nope nope.”
~AFFotD Food Critic, John Goodman
Depending on what non-affotd corners of the internet you choose to spend your free time perusing, you might have heard recently about Burger King ramping up the gross factor on their food by offering a black bun, black cheese burger called the Kuro, or Black burger. This burger re-issue (yes, they tried it before, more on that later) used squid ink and bamboo charcoal to create an all-black burger. Black cheese, black ketchup, black soul are combined for fast food connoisseurs in Japan (because of course this is happening in Japan), leading to a whole slew of internet chatter of “lol, Japan is crazy” (which, duh) and “ew, this looks gross so I tried it oh by the way I’m also a white 24-year-old living in Japan currently while maintaining a blog about my travels.”
What we find most surprising about this burger has nothing to do with its mere existence. When talking about Japan, nothing surprises us anymore. No, upon doing some digging, we discovered that Japan’s Burger King does not have a monopoly on this particular brand of culinary insanity. So, get ready to see a lot of unappetizing pictures of a type of food you once loved, because we’re going to delve into…
The (Terrifying) Black-Bun Burgers of the World
Posted in China, Japan, Strange Foods, The Rest of Them
Tagged America, black and white, black bun, black buns, Burger, Burger King, burgers, dark vador burger, Fast Food, frog burger, Goddamn It Japan You're Doing it Wrong, hakooka burger, Hamburger, humbah, Ikasumi Burger, Japan, Kuro Burger, Kuro Ninja Burger, Kuro Premium Burger, kuwait, McDonalds, orbi yokohama, quick, The Dark Knight
“December. On the plus side- Christmas. On the down side- winter.”
December has come, meaning that winter is fast approaching. Unless you live south of the equator, but truth be told we’re not 100% convinced that anyone actually lives down there. So as we brace for the winter, we take comfort in spending the cold months with our friends, loved ones, and whiskey was the second thing we just said.
And of course you will have fun facts to get you through these harsh winter months. Well not today though. Today we’re half-assing it again so we can present…
Today’s Date in American History (America Version)
If America and Japan were listed in a relationship on facebook (and if they were 15 years old) it would absolutely say “It’s Complicated.” Japan not only attacked Pearl Harbor, they did so in a way to inspire Michael Bay to make a movie about it, while America got back at them by dropping two atomic bombs on them. But despite the animosities of the past, Japan has always had a vested interest in Western Culture, and in many ways has tried to emulate and mimic the practices of European and American cultures.
Unfortunately, this is the origin of the phrase, “Goddamn it Japan, you’re doing it wrong!” When the West started brutally Imperializing other countries, Japan took it to uncomfortable levels by trying to make the Korean language illegal. When the West started making warplanes, Japan decided to turn them into suicidal fireballs. When Japan noticed that the West has rounder eyes, they started mutilating themselves to look less Asian.
Thankfully, there’s always been a cultural gap between America and Japan. While we spend our time trying to find ways to replace bread with fried chicken in sandwich preparation, Japan tries to make steak out of fecal matter. While we invented the Internet, Japan invented roughly 60% of the creepier porn that goes on it.
However, we at AFFotD have just discovered that Japan might be gearing up for a cultural war with America by doing what America does best without adding tentacles. It’s a terrifying time for all of us. These are the stakes.
CULTURE WAR: Burger King in Japan Tries To Out-America America
“Ha! Your meatloaf has ground up glass in it! April Fools’!”
~The World’s Best Prankster (now serving 25-to-life at a Federal Penitentiary)
Enjoy the seizures
The America Fun Fact of the Day office loves April Fools’. That probably doesn’t come as much of a surprise to those of you who started reading while anxiously waiting for a terrifying monster face to pop up on the screen like those pranks that terrify little children on the youtube videos. You, the reader, don’t have to be too concerned about any pranks in today’s post of course- we save most of our energy messing with local law enforcement and personal enemies. Though, we did contaminate one batch of California grown spinach with a pretty nasty case of E. Coli, so next time you want to make spinach dip, and you start feeling like you need to go to the hospital, then April Fools’! Ha ha!
Is it worth the risk? Probably, that shit’s delicious
So don’t worry about being pranked while reading this, unless you’re reading this while peeling open a fresh naval orange (just one poisoned batch, that’s all it takes to panic the shit out of people). And the ambulances might be tied up, depending on where you are, since most of our local branches have been performing “Shit the Joker did in The Dark Knight” type “pranks” all day long, so the emergency crews are going to have their hands full. God, we love this day.
But we are not here to cause mischief to you, loyal readers. In fact, we’re here to give you…
The America Fun Fact of the Day Guide to April Fools’ Day: A History
Posted in America Fun Fact of the Day
Tagged Alaska, America, AOL, AOL Presents Huffington Post Presents America ‘Fun’ ‘Fact’ of the ‘Day’ You’ve Got Mail!, April Fools', April Fools' Day, Arby's, Boston University, Burger King, Charlie Sheen, Dick Smith, England, Fake Iceberg, google, Horse Meat, Huffington Post, Internet, Joseph Boskin, Kremvax, Left-Handed Burgers, Lung Powered Device, Madison Capital Times, New York Mets, Oranges, Pi is Exactly 3, Pope Gregory XIII, Porky Bickar, Sidd Finch, Spinach, Taco Bell, Taco Liberty Bell, The Daily Mail, The Dark Knight, vodka swimming pool, Whopper, Wisconsin, World War I