~An American Stoner in Japan
Japan is terrifying. We’ve said this before, but it bears repeating. Japan is terrifying. Japan is like that one friend you have that goes out of his way to say things that will gross everyone out, only that friend is really good at it, and he does a lot of stuff with poop. We’ll admit that Japan admires American culture, in the sense that they see our products like Pepsi and Kit Kats and decide to just get weird with them.
AFFotD has made it a point to keep you, the public, informed of such terrifying food antics by the nation of Japan, which is why we’re here to continue our look inside Japanese junk food with…
Goddamn it, Japan, You’re Doing It Wrong: Japanese Doritos
If America and Japan were listed in a relationship on facebook (and if they were 15 years old) it would absolutely say “It’s Complicated.” Japan not only attacked Pearl Harbor, they did so in a way to inspire Michael Bay to make a movie about it, while America got back at them by dropping two atomic bombs on them. But despite the animosities of the past, Japan has always had a vested interest in Western Culture, and in many ways has tried to emulate and mimic the practices of European and American cultures.
Unfortunately, this is the origin of the phrase, “Goddamn it Japan, you’re doing it wrong!” When the West started brutally Imperializing other countries, Japan took it to uncomfortable levels by trying to make the Korean language illegal. When the West started making warplanes, Japan decided to turn them into suicidal fireballs. When Japan noticed that the West has rounder eyes, they started mutilating themselves to look less Asian.
Thankfully, there’s always been a cultural gap between America and Japan. While we spend our time trying to find ways to replace bread with fried chicken in sandwich preparation, Japan tries to make steak out of fecal matter. While we invented the Internet, Japan invented roughly 60% of the creepier porn that goes on it.
However, we at AFFotD have just discovered that Japan might be gearing up for a cultural war with America by doing what America does best without adding tentacles. It’s a terrifying time for all of us. These are the stakes.
CULTURE WAR: Burger King in Japan Tries To Out-America America