Category Archives: America Fun Fact of the Day

Tagged America, Fourth of July, Happy birthday, July 4th

The Informative American’s Guide To The Homosexuality Virus (originally published January, 1956)

Posted on April 26, 2012 | 2 comments

“…Oh yeah, this one…does not age well…”

~Editor-in-Chief Johnny Roosevelt, upon reading this enclosed issue of The Informative American

Sometimes, the best way to make yourself a better American is to address the mistakes of your past. This is a subtle way to say that in the 1950’s, even though some views that were casually aired might today seem “fucked up,” they still at least offer us something to learn from. And just because AFFotD used to exist in the 1950’s as a bi-weekly pamphlet called The Informative American doesn’t mean that we agree with the ones that we bring out of the archives and post. Some of them? Yes. Communists are the worst. Recycling is terrible. Women…oh no, wait, yeah we don’t endorse that one. Just pretend we didn’t mention that one. Carry on.

Anyway, the following post, written by lead-paint damaged, emotionally crippled Americans in 1956, is an example of something not to take at face value, but to learn from. Because this is a very narrow minded, extremely out of date, frankly surprisingly hateful even for the time it was written article about homosexuality. Hot button topic, we know. And by hot button topic we mean, “Of course gay people deserve the same rights as everyone else—this isn’t Iran, this is America.” AFFotD is an equal opportunity employer, and we embrace all creeds, races, ethnicities, and orientations. Except for the French. Fuck the French.

Plus, we don’t mean to go all “studies find homophobes are more likely to be closeted homosexuals” on this, but that might explain some of the, erm, extreme rhetoric used in this article.

Don’t say we didn’t warn you. But just to warn you again—this is clearly the opposite of how you should view this topic. Clearly.

The Informative American’s Guide To The Homosexuality Virus (originally published January, 1956)

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Tagged (Seriously This Is Satire), 1950s, America, Desi Arnez, Homosexuality, The Informative American

The Informative American Talks Sex: An Unpleasant and Often Painful Method To Create Future American Soldiers (originally published December 1953)

Posted on February 8, 2012 | 1 comment

“But I don’t have to look at any nipples when I’m doing it, right?”

~1950’s sexual partner

While going through our daily, cough, research, we stumbled across this particular image from a 1950’s adventure magazine. For those of you who said “clicking links is for pansies, I only ended up on this page because I waited too long to click ‘save-as’ from the google images preview page,” we’ll do you the service of explaining the magazine for you.

Yes the image if a man swimming in a sea filled with red snakes, but, there is an additional headline informing men of the 1950’s, “Sex can be FUN!” Now, our staff usually does not discuss sexual conquest or prowess (laaaadies) because these represent moments of personal intimacy that are best left unspoken by distinguished gentlemen. Or in our case, we get too drunk afterwards to actually write about it, and by the time we wake up we’ve probably forgotten the most relevant details (position, duration, gender, etc). But, in spite of everything, we at AFFotD can take a pretty firm stance and say, if you have to read an article to assure you that “Sex can be fun,” you’re doing it wrong.

And apparently we’d be right, because as we were going through the archives of our 1950’s newsletters, we discovered that our predecessors had actually found the exact same article. And, we say this a little less than proudly, they apparently were doing it wrong back then.

Uh. That’s all the explanation we really have the stomach to describe right now. Here, uh, is not one of our finer moments. We’ll just show you the original article.

The Informative American Talks Sex: An Unpleasant and Often Painful Method To Create Future American Soldiers (originally published December 1953)

Tagged adventure magazine, America, Communism, distinguished gentlemen, google, Sex, sexual conquest, Soldiers, The Informative American

America Fun Fact of the Day 1/29- AFFotD’s One Year Anniversary

Posted on January 29, 2012 | 1 comment

“Wow, we’ve made it a year in one piece? And only 15 mail bomb attempts to boot. I’m surprised.”

~AFFotD Editor-in-Chief Johnny Roosevelt

Below, please find a message from AFFotD’s Editor-in-Chief, Johnny Roosevelt.

Greetings you glorious American sons of bitches.

Exactly one year ago, on this day, we burst out of the womb of not-being-on-the-internet and unleashed enough swear words to melt exactly three Warren Beattys. Ever since then, we’ve been unleashing uncaged knowledge on y’all like some sort of American Rain Man (only instead of using our powers to win at blackjack, we just make dick jokes on the internet).

And since then we have held true to the name. America Fun Fact of the Day. Every day. Yes there have been the occasional divorces, a handful (ha! handful…if only) of liver failures, and oh so many CIA inquiries. But we’ve weathered through it all, throat punching the police when need be.

So we know you’ve become accustomed to certain things from us. A post every day. Saturday images of the week. Sunday “Today in American History” posts. Crass jokes that are eerily fixated on unhealthy alcohol consumption.

Well I am here to announce that all of that is a thing of the past (expect the booze jokes that’s pretty much all we got going from us to distinguish us from a patriotic under-researched version of cracked.com). Yes, we will no longer be posting every day. And we will no longer be posting daily. And we will no longer be posting on the weekend.

“How dare you limit our free intellectual content!” you are no doubt screaming. “I am enraged almost as much as I am about this whole facebook timeline thing!” Woah, calm down there. Yes, you’ll be getting less America, but you’ll still be getting the same quality of America.

Tired of reading half-assed 500 word articles? Those will be gone. Every article will be sterling fool’s gold. There will be patent articles and weird, almost aggressively personal angry rants against other websites. And fried foods. And booze.

Of course we’ll still be active every day giving you fun facts. Make sure to “like” our facebook page (ughh that hurts my soul just saying that), or, if you’re cheating on Demi Moore, make sure to follow us on twitter. But more importantly, stay tuned. We’ll still be here. And honestly, three articles a week is still something. We’re not abandoning you. So check in every day. You might find something new.

I thank our loyal readers for tuning in and learning things about what beer brewer pees in what bars, and hopefully you’ll continue to tune in as we post more brilliantly, less frequently.

And honestly, isn’t moderate apathy just the most American you can get?

Time to take a 40 for our writers who ain’t here anymore. Peace.

~Johnny Roosevelt, AFFotD Editor-in-Chief

Tagged America

The Informative American Presents: Re-Cycling or Re-Sickle-ing? A Terrifying Look At The Latest Communist Plot (Originally Published June 1955)

Posted on January 4, 2012 | 1 comment

“Just add it to the book burning pile.”

~1950’s Streets and Sanitation Director

Frequent visitors to this site are no doubt aware of our 1950’s archives, back when our publication was printed (on paper and everything) in a bi-weekly brochure entitled “The Informative American.” While the current reader might find some of the opinions that were expressed 60 years ago “antiquated” or “downright offensive” we still enjoy letting you see how far we’ve come (while occasionally distancing ourselves from certain more “racist” or “misogynistic” points).

But every once and a while, we find something that still holds true to how we feel today. Granted, usually there’s more xenophobia and hatred of Russians thrown in there, but apart from the crude descriptions of the office’s secretaries at the time being unnecessarily thrown in there, we generally agree with the points that The Informative American was trying to make.

Recycling is one of those areas.

Listen, recycling firmly goes against our firmly entrenched “Fuck Nature” policy. It requires taking “initiative” to “save the Earth” and honestly everything except for tin cans uses up more resources and energy than it saves. But in 1955, when “recycling” was just a whisper in the air, a rancid rumor in the wind, a third expression referencing weather patterns, The Informative American was there, ready to fight this policy before it even became established.

Because fuck nature.

The Informative American Presents: Re-Cycling or Re-Sickle-ing? A Terrifying Look At The Latest Communist Plot (Originally Published June 1955)

The Informative American: CUBA! COMMUNISTS! CAPITALIZED LETTERS! (Originally Published June, 1959)

Posted on December 9, 2011 | Leave a comment

“This Fidel Castro character won’t last. That beard is far too absurd.”

~U.S. Politics in the 1950’s

It’s remarkable to think about how things used to put us on edge in the past when they seem pretty innocuous right now. Similar to looking back at fads you partook in as a child (pogs, anyone?) when you look at what the nation feared years ago, and compare it to how we view them now, it all seems pretty silly. The most relevant example we as a staff can think of would have to do with the fervor surrounding Fidel Castro and Cuba.

Yes, we get it, having a communist power so close to America during the Cold War’s perpetual game of nuclear chicken was probably very terrifying at the time. But we’re talking about a man who America unsuccessfully tried to poison the beard of who now is considered such an afterthought that most of you reading this aren’t sure if he’s alive (he is) or if he’s still in power (he is not).

Of course, our stacks of archives from the 1950s remembers everything, and we have no shame about pointing out how incorrect our views were in the 1950’s. So that is why we present you today with…

The Informative American: CUBA! COMMUNISTS! CAPITALIZED LETTERS! (Originally Published June, 1959)

Tagged America, Cuba, Fidel Castro, The Informative American

Timmy Roosevelt Talks Cereal

Posted on November 4, 2011 | Leave a comment

“How come you only ask me to write things after you’ve had too much yell juice?”

~Timmy Roosevelt

Every once and a while our “staff” gets a little “overwhelmed” and “hungover” to really give you, the American doting public, an appropriate Fun Fact. And at least one of those times, we turned to Timmy Roosevelt, the 8-year old nephew of our Editor-and-Chief, Johnny Roosevelt. So when Timmy was in our offices again as Johnny had to “go to jail and bail out Timmy’s dad for public intoxication again” we sort of figured, “well…we’re just hungover enough to try to have an 8-year old leave another post.”

So screw it, right? Take it away, Timmy.

Tagged America, Cereal, Timmy Roosevelt

George Takei of AFFotD Discusses Halloween

Posted on October 31, 2011 | Leave a comment

“My only regret about The Nightmare Before Christmas is all the annoying Goth kids who took a shining to it.”

~Tim Burton

Ah, yes, Halloween creeps closer still, to the point that many of you are reading this in a spooky voice. Perhaps George Takei? You did not imagine George Takei as, indeed, the greatest choice to narrate a Halloween post until this very day. Which is why today’s post, about the history of Halloween, will be written entirely by Mr. Takei, renowned thespian and owner of the best voice possessed by any homosexual male.

So now, here is…

George Takei of AFFotD Discusses Halloween

Tagged America, Bobbing for Apples, George Takei, Halloween, Trick or Treating

The Informative American’s Back-To-School Special (Originally Published August, 1953)

Posted on October 27, 2011 | 2 comments

“What good’s algebra going to do for you when the Ruskies have turned your family into charcoal, huh?”

~1950’s Elementary School Principal

For most of our staffers, school was a lot like drinking Southern Comfort. We could take it or leave it, but we weren’t going to actively search for it. Also, High School was the last time any of us last drank SoCo. But from what we can remember from in between puking on our principles, the American education system involves, uh, learning and grades. Oh, and centering a curriculum primarily on achieving good test scores for government funding instead of focusing on a curriculum that actually furthers the student’s education. But whatever our system is now, it works for white kids most of the time. It’s relatively normal and pretty recognizable.

You can probably guess where we’re going with this. That’s right, it’s time for another issue of everyone’s favorite blast-from-the-past as we at AFFotD dig into our 1950’s stacks of The Informative American to see how Elementary Schools worked back in 1953. Apparently the answer was “surprisingly badass, with apologies to the ladies.” Oh, 1953, you so misogynistic!

The Informative American’s Back-To-School Special (Originally Published August, 1953)

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Tagged 1950s, America, Nuclear Bombs, School, Studies, The Informative American, Violence

Apocalypse Watch 2012: THE PLAGUE IS BACK, BABY!

Posted on October 17, 2011 | 1 comment

“Hey, if I can survive the apocalypse…”

~John Cusack

AFFotD always looks forward with pragmatic optimism, by which we mean to say a large percentage of our staff is pretty convinced that the end of days are nigh. While we weren’t left behind by the Rapture as we thought (or even hoped. Who knows, something about ruling a lawless society with guns and audacity appeals to our inner-Libertarian) we remain pretty convinced that the whole 2012 Mayan apocalypse is going to melt us faster than that dude in Volcano. And since we have both crackpots and alcohol as permanent fixtures in our offices, we feel it is our duty to keep our finger on the apocalyptic pulse of America.

That is why we are introducing to you, our newest AFFotD segment…

Apocalypse Watch 2012: THE PLAGUE IS BACK, BABY!

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