Tag Archives: Super Bowl

5 Super Bowl Halftime Performances That Have Aged Horribly

“Oh thank God, now I can go to the bathroom.”

~Super Bowl viewers during the halftime show

black eyed peas super bowl

Hey!  The Super Bowl is just a few days away!  It’s the one time of the year where you absolutely know, unequivocally, that you’re going to be suffering at work the following Monday, and you know it’ll be absolutely worth it.  Super Bowl Sunday is a day filled with the beer and snacks and a statistically-probably-underwhelming football game, and it’s the closest to a live national spectacle as you can find in this fine nation.  Everyone watches the Super Bowl, everyone has stronger than necessary opinions about the importance or unimportance of Super Bowl commercials, and everyone wishes that the party they were at had 30 bathrooms once the Super Bowl Halftime show begins, because the only person who actually gives a shit about the Super Bowl Halftime show is your friend’s girlfriend that no one in your group of friends really likes, who is really into Katy Perry to the point that it’s kind of uncomfortable.

Otherwise, the Halftime Show is an extremely expensive spectacle that’s just a waste of fucking time.  The phenomenon of people looking for something more interesting to watch during Halftime directly contributed to the existence of both the Puppy Bowl and a women-in-lingerie football league that still exists to this day.  However, the Halftime Show does serve as an interesting indicator of our nation’s culture.  Like, in the mid 00’s we were terrified of breasts on live television, so we went with safe performances by old rockers in their 50s and 60s.  Last year, we were way into uncoordinated sharks, apparently.  There are a lot of memorable Super Bowl Halftime performances.  And there are also the Black Eyed Peas, but we managed to get drunk enough by halftime that year that we blissfully have no memory of it.

What we’re trying to say is that Super Bowl Halftime Shows are very much a product of their times.  Sometimes that can prove to be ageless, like Michael Jackson destroying the Rose Bowl at the peak of his stardom.  And sometimes…well, sometimes you get…

5 Super Bowl Halftime Performances That Have Aged Horribly

Continue reading

Advertisements

AFFotD’s Guide To American Super Bowl Parties

“Goddamn it, no, we’re not putting the Puppy Bowl on the other television, stop asking.”

~American Super Bowl Party Hosts

Image

Over the years, the Super Bowl has gone from a half-assed sporting event where shit like “a team has to re-do their kickoff because the cameras missed it” happened to national event of such great importance that not even an appearance by the Black Eyed Peas can stop people from tuning in.  The Super Bowl is an American holiday, Monday hangovers be damned.

Yes, the Super Bowl is like New Year’s Eve’s older, cooler brother that smokes cloves out in the high school parking lot.  New Year’s Eve carries impossible expectations, expensive drink specials, and a surprising lack of giant men concussing each other.  The Super Bowl takes all the best parts of New Years (booze, shitload of parties), throws in a lot more unhealthy food (can we get a what what for 7-layered bean dip?), and centers it around a football game that is so brilliantly produced that even people who hate sports will come to your party to “watch commercials” (which is code word for “get drunk and get hit on by your roommate’s friends”).

Now, because this day is so important in setting the tone for the month of February, and the year as a whole, it is your personal duty as the American with the largest HD TV among your friends to host a viewing party so grand that it would cause a Frenchman to shame-spiral into watching Sofia Coppola’s Marie Antoinette on repeat while sobbing into a bottle of anti-freeze.  And that’s where we are here to help, by presenting you with…

America Fun Fact of the Day’s Guide to American Super Bowl Parties

Image

Continue reading

A Road Trip of Roadside Attractions Through America’s Midwest: Part 2

“NOW are we there yet?  NOW are we there yet?”

~GODDAMN IT KIDS THIS IS WHY YOUR MOTHER LEFT

AFFotD took you on a magical journey through America’s Heartland in the first leg of our Road Trip through Roadside Attractions.  We saw a whole slew of things that America decided to make giant for little or no discernable reason, and after checking in on our Chicago offices for a chance to make fun of Vince Vaughn for doing that shit film, The Dilemma, we decided we should continue to see what this fine nation has lying ahead of us.  But the last thing we wanted was to be driving sober, and cheese curds sounded pretty fucking delicious, so we headed north to the home state of the Super Bowl Exellvee champions, Wisconsin.

Continue reading

America Fun Fact of the Day’s Discussion of Super Bowl 2011

Dadada dada daaaa, BUMMM, dadada dada daaaa, BUMMM, dadada dadada, DUH DUH DAH DUHHH. “

~You, drunkenly, tonight

When you think of America, what comes to mind?  Eating junk foodSeven layer bean dips?  Drinking copious amounts of beer during a Sunday afternoon?  Watching full grown men give each other concussions?  Fuck yes!  America!  Super Bowl!  FOOTBALL!  FOOOTBALLLLLLLLLLL!

FOOOOOOOTBAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLL

Today is an important day for the alcohol industry, the fledgling bacon loaf industry, and ad executives who trick companies to pay millions of dollars for usually ineffective commercials that, even when they’re good, no one remembers what they advertise.  But most of all, today is important…for America.

Today is Super Bowl We-Don’t-Know-What-Roman-Numerals-Mean-Because-I-Mean-Come-On-This-Is-America-Get-Your-Head-Out-Of-Your-Ass,-NFL.  Two teams that have names that have been used as insults to people face off, the Robbers versus the Homosexual Innuendos.  So to honor these teams, which have a combined 9 Premature Death Trophies between them, America Fun Fact of the Day is here to give you a comprehensive history of the Super Bowl and this year’s contenders of the number one reason for hangover induced sick days of the year.

This is the look of two people who did not remember anything after the first quarter of the previous day’s game.  On the plus side, that means they missed having to see the Black Eyed Peas.

Continue reading