Tag Archives: Rocky IV

Re-Awarding the Academy Award for Best Picture (1985-1989)

“Oh God, they’re going to give an Academy Award to Rocky IV, aren’t they?”

~You, the Reader

oscars

We are now three articles and over 12,000 words into our ambitious attempt to re-award every single Academy Award from 1970 to 2009 while finding at least one way to screw over the favorite movie of every single one of our readers. It’s been a whirlwind ride, with some hard decisions and a lot of movies we had no clue even existed. But now it’s time to dive deep into the mid-to-late 80’s, a decade which has seen a lot of awards not only changing hands, but going to movies that weren’t even originally nominated. But then again, they thought shoulder pads were a great idea in the 1980’s, so it’s not surprising that the Academy messed things up back then.

Once again to hash out the rules. Each year is listed not by the film’s release, but by the date of the ceremony (so 1985’s entry is for films released in 1984, etc). We’ll tell you the original winners, and nominees, along with their IMDB user rating, and then will re-award that year’s Oscar. It could go to the same movie, but more often than not it’ll be going to someone else.

So let’s dive in, shall we? There were some pretty competitive years in this batch.

Re-Awarding the Academy Award for Best Picture (1985-1989)

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AFFotD Oscars For Deserving American Actors (Part 2)

“How have I NOT won an Oscar?”

~Harrison Ford

As we established in yesterday’s fun fact, the Oscars are not always fair.  Sometimes they can be cruel, political film awards that completely ignore some classic American performances.  That’s why we decided to do something about it, and forcibly steal other actors’ hard earned Oscars and give them to more worthy recipients.  So, here, please see our final two American Oscar Award winners.

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The “Are You American” Quiz

“Congratulations, you have won Jeopardy!   Did I mention that when I was in my 40s, I married a 27 year old woman?”

~Alex Trebek


As fine purveyors of all things American, sometimes it is necessary for America Fun Fact of the Day writers to take a step back and think about what America means to them.  Yes, it is a country, a way of life, and the creator of all things awesome.  This we know.  We know that we are Americans, either by blood or by love, and our fervor for this hunk of a continent knows no equal.

But every once and a while, a non-American tries to infiltrate our ranks.  Yes, Ivan Drago might stroll in, Carl Weathers in tow, and start to beat him mercilessly in front of us while saying, “If you do not hire me….he dies.”  And as he tells us about the time where robbers broke into his house, tied up his wife, and then left without taking anything just because they saw a picture of him in the house and realized, “Holy shit, Ivan Drago’s going to kill us when he finds out,” we might fool ourselves into thinking, “Yes, maybe he is American.”  But then, we remember Rocky beating the shit out of him to win the Cold War, and the fact that the name “Dolph” is a pretty shitty name.  And since you are able to read “Dolph Lundgren has a shitty name, fuck you Dolph Lundgren” without his hand punching through your computer and breaking your nose, that means that he is clearly not American enough.  And we were right to not hire him for that reason, and we totally sent Mrs. Weathers a really nice bouquet of flowers for the funeral.

Since other people can mask their accents, or not be named “Dolph,” we sometimes have to take the psychological route to determine who among us are truly American.  It is for that reason that you, dear readers, will be able to take our handy “Are You American” quiz.  It’s full of questions meant to separate the Patriots from the Portuguese, the Americans from the Albanians, and the Freedoms from the….French.

All french people are mimes.  True story.

So please take our test below.  For each multiple choice question, A is worth 0 points, B is worth 1 point, C is worth 3 points, and D is worth 5 points.  So add up your score, and check our scoring guide at the bottom of the page.  Good luck trying to pass this test, comrade.

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