Tag Archives: Oscars

Re-Awarding the Academy Award for Best Picture (1980-1984)

“And the Oscar goes to…white men running on a beach in slow-motion? Oh sorry, we mean, uh, Chariots of Fire! Wait, really, they chose that?”

~Loretta Young in 1982

oscars

This week we have shared with you two articles that went through every Best Picture winner in the Academy Awards in the 1970s to determine which films get to keep their trophy, and which have to give them up to another film. How did we determine this? Hindsight and our own extremely arbitrary opinions, of course. Frankly, we were a bit surprised and disappointed that there wasn’t more chaos in reassigning the awards from the 70’s.

Five movies kept their Oscars and with the exception of one year, the highest IMDB user rating came away with the revised award. Today, we continue our “oh shit, this is taking a lot more work than we expected when we pitched it” series by delving into the first half of the 1980s, year-by-year, with the expectation that the 1980s’ increase in film production quality (and, you know, cocaine) will lead to more insanity.

And here we again will remind you what to expect from this article. We list each year by the actual year of the Academy Award ceremony (meaning that for each year, we are talking about films released the prior year. The 1980 award, for example, covers only films that came out in 1979).

We will also say what other films were nominated, and will show the IMDB user rating next to each film’s name. We are aware that IMDB users are not necessarily the most logical bunch, and the rating doesn’t necessarily dictate what films we choose, but it is a factor, albeit one of many. In some instances, we will have found that the Academy got it right the first time, but more often than not we’ll be giving the award to another film, be that film previously nominated or not.

So let’s dive in, nose first, to the 1980s and take away some hard-earned Oscars!

Re-Awarding the Academy Award for Best Picture (1980-1984)

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Re-Awarding the Academy Award for Best Picture (1975-1979)

“You’re going to really regret giving me this Academy Award, AFFotD.”

~George Lucas

 oscars

Earlier this week we decided on a whim (read as, while drinking whiskey in the middle of the day) that we would go through all the Academy Awards for Best Picture that were handed out in every ceremony from 1970 through 2009 and determine what movies from that year should really have come away with the win. And, well, it took us 4,500 words to cover five years. Yeah, um, this is going to take a while. So let’s keep motoring through.

But first, a quick refresher on our process here. We will list each Academy Award by the year the award was presented, as opposed to the year that the films came out. Yes, it’s frustratingly confusing, but we’ve made this arbitrary decision and are sticking to it.

So all of our entries for 1975 came out in 1974, 1976’s Oscar is for films released in 1975, you get the idea. We’ll tell you what movie won originally as well as what films were originally nominated. We will include the IMDB user ratings for each film as a widely imperfect marker of quality. Then, we’ll decide who actually deserves that Academy Award. In our first article, two films kept their statue, while three were handed out to different nominees. A film doesn’t have to have been nominated originally to get the award, but it does help.

Now, with that all being said, let’s dive into our next batch of films.

Re-Awarding the Academy Award for Best Picture (1975-1979)

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Re-Awarding the Academy Award for Best Picture (1970-1974)

“And the winner is…Crash? Wait that can’t be r…”

~What Jack Nicholson Should Have Said in 2006

oscars

Like it or not, the Academy Awards carry a lot of influence in terms of what movies we deem to be worth remembering. It doesn’t matter if it’s about a ruthless mob family, or the subtleties of fish fucking, the Academy Award for Best Picture ensures all winners go down in history.

But sometimes history is wrong, and in the case of the Academy Awards, it’s wrong often. Now, Academy Award voters don’t have the benefit of hindsight, but we do. We have all the hindsight. ALL OF IT.

That’s why we decided to go through every Academy Award ceremony from 1970 through 2009 and give out those Best Picture Oscars one more time. Sometimes this will mean that the same movie is going to win. But a lot of the time, we’re going to be taking away Academy Awards and giving them to more deserving films.

Yes, you are going to get mad a lot reading this series. And yes, you are going to be very confused by our decision to go with the year each award was given out, as opposed to the year the winning movies were released. Listen, when you make an omelette, you’re going to mix up a few metaphors, alright?

Here’s what we’re going to do. For each Academy Award ceremony, we’ll tell you who won, and who else was nominated. We will list the IMDB user rating for each film—it’s an imperfect marker of quality, for sure, but it at least can give you an idea of how the general public views the movie today.

Then, we’ll tell you which movie gets the AFFotD-awarded Oscar. For all we know, the movie might end up being one that wasn’t even nominated. Either way, we’ll go through the important movies that came out each year, and tell you who wins that designated Oscar (again, remember, the ceremony takes place after the movies are released, so the 1970 ceremony is for 1969 movies, 1971 is for 1970, etc.) All clear? Good.

So strap yourselves in, because the next few weeks, America Fun Fact of the Day is going to fix the Academy Awards. You’re welcome.

Re-Awarding the Academy Award for Best Picture (1970-1974)

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America’s Greatest Prison Breaks (Part 1)

“Houdini!”

~Ricky Bobby

America has always had a fascination with escapes.  We make movies about escaping POW camps, our favorite game during Recess was Jail Break, and there was that one show on Fox that we only really watched for the first season, but apparently lasted for more seasons than Arrested Development.  There’s something American about sticking it to some sort of foreign land or domestic legal system(though we tend to have an easier time rooting for it when there’s a “Innocent person in jail” angle, but whatever).

Remember this?  No?  Nothing?

It is with the intrepid “this bird cannot be caged” American mindset, then, that we present you with…

AFFotD’s History of the Best American Prison Escapes


…Though Prison isn’t ALL bad…

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AFFotD Oscars For Deserving American Actors (Part 2)

“How have I NOT won an Oscar?”

~Harrison Ford

As we established in yesterday’s fun fact, the Oscars are not always fair.  Sometimes they can be cruel, political film awards that completely ignore some classic American performances.  That’s why we decided to do something about it, and forcibly steal other actors’ hard earned Oscars and give them to more worthy recipients.  So, here, please see our final two American Oscar Award winners.

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AFFotD Oscars For Deserving American Actors (Part 1)

“And the Oscar goes to…”

~William Shakespeare, probably


In 1929, Hollywood held the first, “Hey guys, aren’t we awesome?” party that eventually went on to be known as the “Academy Awards.”  Ever since that point, the Oscars have become a yearly tradition meant to celebrate brilliant films, powerful performances, and weird dresses.  And while the Academy Awards carry with them a lot of prestige and respect within the film circles, there is one little problem with them.  They are not nearly American enough.

Every  year, there are notable Oscar snubs, but worse than the snubs is fact that, throughout the past 82 years, some of the most quintessential American roles have never been recognized by the Academy.  We at AFFotD are here to fix that.  We’re giving out official Oscars to the four American actors who have been repeatedly screwed over (most of them are on staff) by the Academy, and for good measure we’re going to commit copious amounts of assault and rob the awards from other recipients who are not nearly American enough to deserve the honor.

While this isn’t a black-tie event, tuxes are recommended (it really classes up the part where we mercilessly beat other actors).  We’ll wait for you to change.

That’s better.  And now, to name our post-award recipients of Academy Awards.  America style.

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