Tag Archives: Tom Hanks

The Most Terrifying Wax Statues at Louis Tussaud’s Niagara Falls Waxworks Museum

“What the hell am I looking at?”

~Guests of Louis Tussaud’s Waxworks

wax trump

Just about everyone has at least heard of Madame Tussauds—it’s pretty much the gold standard for wax sculptor museums in the world. The original location in London opened in 1835, but dozens of satellite museums have sprung up all over the world during the 180 years of its existence. Now just because something is famous doesn’t mean it’s “necessary.” If we’re being completely honest, wax sculpture museums are very creepy and uncanny valley even at their best.

Which brings us to Louis Tussaud, Marie Tussad’s great-grandson who took up the family business and…well, his legacy is less than exciting. The Louis Tussaud’s Waxwork Museum located in Grand Yarmouth, for example, was called the “world’s worst waxwork museum” before it closed in 2012. His other locations aren’t that much better. So, um, strap in we guess, because we looked through some of the offerings of the Niagara Falls location of Louis Tussaud’s Waxworks, and what we found…well it’s not great. It’s very not great.

The Most Terrifying Wax Statues at Louis Tussaud’s Niagara Falls Waxworks Museum

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[REDACTED] Reviews The Dragnet Rap, “City of Crime” (ft. Tom Hanks and Dan Aykroyd)

“I had the most wonderful dream.  I was somehow freed from my contract, and I didn’t have to do report on strange and terrifying things anymore.  It was such a wonderful dream.  Such a wonderful dream.”

~[REDACTED]

It’s been a long time since you last heard from [REDACTED], our PTSD suffering investigative journalist who we keep in a constant state of agitation by alternating sending him on good assignments (like drinking Four Loko in Nebraska) and giving him terrifying, mind-numbing ones (like watching the French Women’s Soccer team).

For those of you who are new to the site, no [REDACTED] was not in ‘Nam or anything like that, the reason why he has PTSD is the same reason why we can’t contractually release his name—because we forced him to eat a meal at a Vegan restaurant.  Yes, we know that we’re monsters, it came while we were under some, erm, more sketchy management.

So in a category that seems less “cruel punishment” and more “well we need to fill some space, let’s let [REDACTED] do the heavy lifting for us,” we decided to find the most absurd rap video we could, and have [REDACTED] watch it and give us a step-by-step guide.  So, we decided to go with the music video of “City of Crime” which was filmed for the 1987 movie version of Dragnet, starring Tom Hanks and Dan Aykroyd.

We don’t want to give too much away, but it absolutely involves 25-years-younger versions of Dan Aykroyd and Tom Hanks rapping.  Also, here’s a screenshot from it.

This is from a movie that features actors that went on to combine for eight Academy Award nominations, and two wins.  Sure most of that was Tom Hanks, but still.

Anyway, if you want to follow along, click here to watch the train wreck of a video yourself.  Or you can just follow [REDACTED]’s account below.

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