Tag Archives: Traveling Billboard

[REDACTED]’s Week of Freedom

“You’re never gonna take me alive, AFFotD fuckers!”
~[REDACTED]

Our undercover investigative journalist, [REDACTED] has been through a lot.  We forced him to eat at a Vegan restaurant, which is the very reason why we can’t in good conscience list his name here, then after a quick apology party we got him to sign over, essentially, his soul. We made him write about cricket, and about opera, and finally, he snapped.

We didn’t hear a word from him for a week, until our specially calibrated American hunting dogs found an unusually large amount of America around the Chicagoland area.  Sure enough, that’s where [REDACTED] had been hiding out.  After we sent in the hounds (ha ha, don’t worry, they weren’t really hounds.  They were more of a wolves/huskie hybrid) we were able to bring in [REDACTED] and get his story behind his one week spent, as he put it, “Trying to get my America back on, you cocksuckers.”

Here is his tale.

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