Tag Archives: Delaware

The American States Of America: The Most American Qualities Of Every State (Part 1 of 10)

“Delaware.  We’re in Delaware.”

~Wayne Campbell

american states

Together, America is united as one boozy, overweight, hard drug dabbling awesome nation.  However, it’s important to remember that we began as a confederation of states, and each of those states very much has its own unique identity which is defined through their citizens, history, and contributions to American society.  If you’re looking for the best bourbon in the nation, you’ll probably think of Kentucky before, say, Alaska.  But that doesn’t mean Alaska doesn’t live life Americanly by shooting wolves from helicopters and getting paid for no reason other than living in a place not a lot of people want to be.

So when we at AFFotD look to exalt America, sometimes we have to look at each individual piece of the puzzle and determine the most American aspects of each state of this great nation.  That is why we are here to present to you a five part series listing the most American qualities of every state in the Union, in order of when they were officially admitted into the United States of America.  So grab onto your hats, and get ready to watch us frantically Wikipedia what the hell is in North Dakota.

america states of america

PART ONE

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America Fun Fact of the Day 2/26/2011- America Can Totally Jump Over a Car

“Hell yes I can jump over a car”
45% of America

Look at you, America.  You’re glorious.  When Blake Griffin won the slam dunk contest by jumping over a (unfortunately foreign made) car, the good old folks at ESPN decided to ask the question everyone was asking.  Could you, average American Joe, do the same thing as a 6 foot 10 inch tall professional athlete?  Well, 45% of us, or the 45% most American Americans out there, hear that question and think, “Hell, we’d jump over the damn roof.”

And look at Idaho, Delaware, New Hampshire, and Rhode Island over there.  A majority of the Americans there think they can jump over the hood of a goddamn car.  And there’s something damn special about that.

So America, as you go about your day, look at the nearest car, and at least allow yourself a moment to think….can I jump that fucker?  Because once you blindly assume you can, even when you can’t, then you’ll know you’re truly American.