We’re almost there. Less than a week away from the Academy Awards, and just two articles to go. So we can talk about our diet the last few months watching and writing about all of these films (please do not tell our doctor, we technically are all bourbon pizza-tarians at the moment) (and no, it’s not drinking bourbon AND pizza.) (We can’t get into further details).
So after writing about the Best Picture, Actor, Actress and Supporting Actor nominations, it’s time for Best Supporting Actress.
Posted in Academy Awards
Tagged Academy Awards, America, film, Movies, renate-reinsve, reviews, sentimental-value
We’ve run out of food. Living off of a Costco bulk order of Gushers and all the beef jerky the nearest BP station had in stock. But it’s all worth it to watch every Oscar nominated movie and arbitrarily guess who will win. We’ve already covered the Best Picture award and Best Actor, but now *strip club DJ voice* it’s time for the laydayyyyyyyys. Let’s look at the best Actress nominees for 2026.
Posted in Academy Awards, America Fun Fact of the Day
Tagged Academy Awards, America, awards, film, hamnet, Movies, Oscars
Every year, our staff gets a text message from an unknown number. “Assemble” it says. Then the next message says “Ugh, no not like The Avengers, that’s tacky, fuck, um, listen, just come down to the office, there is unlimited booze and a movie projector, we have to watch every major Oscar nominated film and write about them. You will only be paid in whiskey and chicken tenders.”
Of our staff of dozens, the only one who doesn’t heed the call is [Redacted]. Which, fair. He’s been through enough over the last 15 years.
Anyway, we’ve already given you our thoughts on the movies nominated for Best Picture, but we went further by watching all the movies that got nominated for the most important award – what MALE actor did the best job this year?
*screeching noise of seven chairs abruptly being dragged away from our roundtable*
Okay looks like our women staffers are taking a break.
Anyway, let’s look at the nominees.
Posted in America Fun Fact of the Day
Tagged Academy Awards, America, film, marty-supreme, Movies, Oscars, timothee-chalamet
When Arrested Development came out in 2003, it didn’t constitute as a commercial success that you might associate with sitcoms like Friends or Fraisier or [insert another comedy that starts with F…is there a sitcom called Fuck? No? Anyway].
Its initial run only ran for three seasons, but received 26 Emmy Award nominations, and six wins, including two for Best Comedy Series.
Featuring a writing staff that went on to create iconic shows of their own, and regular appearances from legends such as Ron Howard, Eliza Minnelli and Henry Winkler, the show also featured one of the best ensemble casts of all time, most of which went on to even brighter careers.
So we decided to take the nine primary characters of Arrested Development and rank them based on their post-AD careers.
Posted in America Fun Fact of the Day
Tagged America, Emmys, entertainment, news, Television, tv
“Why do you make us watch ALL of these movies? We’re pretty sure the Academy members don’t even do that.”
~AFFotD’s staff
After watching all ten Best Picture nominees for the 2024 Academy Awards and ranking them accordingly, we’ve continued our sicko tradition of watching all the Oscar-nominated films and giving our predictions.
We’ll soon go into all the other categories with a little less “explaining the movie” sections, but for now, having seen all the nominees for Best Actor, Best Supporting Actor, Best Actress and Best Supporting Actress, let’s dive right into our next set of predictions.
“Oh God, we’re doing this again?”
~The Entire AFFotD Staff
Last year, our staff made the decision to do write ups-on the Oscar nominees for Best Picture, Best Actors, Best Actresses, and all the rest. Our results? We were pretty accurate actually!
And we put more work into our predictions than, hmm, some multi-million dollar entities that decided to rely on AI. And we’re not gonna take our foot off the gas. Here’s our rundown of the ten Best Picture nominees for the 2024 Academy Awards.
“Ugh. Jesus. Well at least we’re literally the last website on the internet to write a hot take on Artificial Intelligence”
~AFFotD Editor-in-Chief Johnny Roosevelt
Yes, we used AI to make this image. The prompt was “rich venture capitalist using Artificial Intelligence software to write a bad article –ar 16:9”
It’s been a while since you’ve heard from our staff (our staff holiday party was a booze cruise for Octoberfest that ended up leading to an almost note-for-note Triangle of Sadness situation. Only for us, the rich were okay, and the interns…well we don’t have interns anymore).
Speaking of Academy Award nominated films, friends of the site know we get weird about award season. We gave our predictions for every single major category for the 2023 Oscars (and were surprisingly accurate) and we went through 40 years of cinema to re-distribute Best Picture Oscar winners.
These articles took work. Like, enough work for you to rightfully be concerned about the mental state of our writers. And they received hundreds, maybe even thousands of views, and brought in roughly $3.52 of revenue.
You know who has more than $3.52, a larger staff, and decided to fuck off and do their Oscar preview not with 14,000 words that took 20 hours to create, but with an entirely AI-created article with 15 minutes of edits that is immediately recognizable as being pushed through ChatGPT?
Posted in America Fun Fact of the Day
Tagged Academy Awards, AI, America, Artificial Intelligence, awards, film, Movies, Oscars, Variety
“You’re letting me out? .I’m free? I’m FREE? Wait…wh…what is this for? OH GOD WHAT IS THIS FOR!?”
~[Redacted]
It’s been almost a decade since we’ve last heard from [Redacted] so we’ll give you some backstory if you might not recall him. After we sent one of our finest investigative reporters out to eat at a Vegan restaurant, things went a bit sideways. To save his family the shame of doing such a thing as eating a meal in America without meat, we buried his identity, kept him in a locked broom closet, and forced him to review the worst shit imaginable for us.
A 1980s rap video with Dan Aykroyd and Tom Hanks, a Rodney Danger rap video, a rap video about recycling. These were his only moments outside of the stuffy darkness. But it wasn’t all just bad white-person old-school rap. Hell, we even made him write a Buzzfeed article back when Buzzfeed was a thing that people actually read. Haha, holy shit, remember Buzzfeed? Back then ChatGPT was just called “unpaid interns” and the end result was about the same.
But anyway. Long story short, we totally forgot we hadn’t let him out since 2014. Then during one of our holiday parties (we believe it was for the anniversary of the release of Rocky IV) we accidentally bumped into our broom closet, freeing [Redacted] who somehow had stayed alive thanks to a leak in the ceiling and the 30 years of prepper-grade rations we always keep in every single closet in our compound.
So we put him to work.
We asked him what he wanted to write about, as a way of apologizing for his decade of solitude, and he said, “Well I left off on the hit AMC show, The Walking Dead, shortly before my last assignment. The first season was great, the second was a little slow, but it seemed to be gaining steam. How about I write about that.”
Oh [Redacted]. You sweet, cursed soul.
“Be Curious. Not Judgmental.”
~Ted Lasso
Ted Lasso, the little show that could (win 11 Emmys), aired its (theoretically) final episode recently. You know the show. You have at least one friend who is like all of our staff members who will gladly talk to you about it without warning, most likely leading to a long, unwelcome conversation.
It’s the story of a college football coach brought over to England to coach a team owned by a spurned ex-wife who hires him to tank her former husband’s favorite team.
What ensues is a heartwarming ensemble sports show that also deals with heavy topics like mental health, divorce, and self-harm. It also is, by far, the most popular Apple TV+ intellectual property. It has a devoted fan base, hundreds of accolades, and is so great that even though it was planned to end after the third season, they won’t rule out a spinoff.
We love it.
For the past two years, we’ve done the aggressive work of ranking every. Single. Character. If they had a name? They got an entry!
We wrote about 61 characters who had a named role in Season 1. By Season 2, that number blew up to 121.
According to the Ted Lasso wiki page, by Season 3 we got up to over 300 characters.
Politely? Fuck that.
We’re changing the rules for this final entry to this series, which might diminish the impact of how different certain characters’ rankings are compared to last year, but no one reading this wants to deal with 20,000 words mostly filled with entries that simply read, “Oh, this is Amy, she was Jamie’s partner in the reality TV series he did at the start of Season 2.”
You don’t want to hear that! You want to see where we ranked Nate now! His journey has been a roller coaster!
So instead of ranking every character who has a line or a name, we’ll start with an honorary “you were on the show good for you” list before ranking characters who have actual impact on the show. This should save you all about 20 extra minutes of reading, so you’re welcome.
“There is no way anyone is going to be completely happy with this list. In fact many will be livid. Let’s run it.”
~AFFotD Editor-in-Chief Johnny Roosevelt
There’s a new entry to the Batman franchise, which is about as evergreen of a statement that has ever existed. Batman franchises replicate faster than Tribbles. We’d make a “Being a Batman franchise is like being one of Nick Cannon’s children” joke but we are not hacks, dammit. We have standards.
Batman is basically the pop culture equivalent of bunnies. Their parents always die.
The latest installment that we don’t really need from a franchise that has about a 50% success rate in their attempts to revive the caped crusader is a CW show called Gotham Knights, which premiered March 14th of this year. Not only is it very bad, it has so many baffling ideas behind it we can’t wrap our head around it.
While there is a popular video game of the same name, that game essentially has you playing characters like Robin, Nightwing, Red Hood and Batgirl in a world reeling from the death of Batman. Gotham Knights the TV series also starts with the death of Batman, but instead follows a random group of teen thieves and the adopted son of Bruce Wayne. We are of course talking about…Turner Hayes????(????)
What? Yes that’s right, they made up a completely new character, who doesn’t even know Bruce Wayne was Batman until his death. There is no Alfred. There is no Jim Gordon. Harvey Dent, played by Supernatural‘s Mischa Collins, basically should be named Gordon, as his role is “boss cop”, but no. (Collins is arguably the only good thing in the show, to be fair. There is a Robin, but she’s a random high school girl that met Batman once before he started training her, again without his son knowing. She is introduced with the line, “Wait, aren’t you in my Trig class?”
Ughhhh.
It’s basically Riverdale, but Batman. The writing is bad, the acting is wooden, and it likely won’t get a second season.
But it got us thinking. A lot of people have played Batman over the years. So why not create a subjective list that’ll get Batman fans upset? Sweet! Let’s rank the best Batmans!
Posted in America Fun Fact of the Day, Fighters, Miscellaneous America
America Fun Fact of the Day 