Tag Archives: Aliens

The Most Absurd Animated Spin-Offs of Classic Movies

Yes, of course!  Turn it into a cartoon!  The kids will love it!  This coke is amazing I AM INVINSIBLE!”

~Television Executives of the 80s and 90s

beatlejuice

If there’s anything you should take away from our recent article discussing the horrendous movie sequels you didn’t know existed, it’s that nothing is sacred and artistic integrity is a lie we tell ourselves when we watch the first two Godfather movies while pretending that Sophia Coppola never acted.  It’s good that we ripped that Band-Aid off quickly because things are going to get worse from here.  No, we’re not going to list another set of American-Psycho-2-esque horrendous sequels.

We’re going to talk about your favorite movies turned into baffling, strange, and unnecessary Saturday Morning Cartoons.

Yes, while you were enjoying a happy childhood where your weekends were spent watching GI Joe and Doug, the powers that be decided that your favorite movies should also be cheaply animated and interspersed with commercials for Breakfast cereals.  Who cares if the original material is “Rated R” or “features pee-wee hockey players, not giant duck aliens, you fucking maniac”?  Cartoons are cheap to make, dammit, and it’s not like an animated series could do any more damage to the Police Academy series than Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach has done already.

Below are the list of America’s most unnecessary animated spin-offs.  And holy hell, are they unnecessary.

The Most Absurd Animated Spin-Offs of Classic Movies

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The Aurora, Texas UFO Incident Totally Existed (Just Stop Asking About It, Okay?)

“I’m not saying it’s aliens, but it’s not aliens.”

~Sensible Americans

As long as there are tin-foil manufacturers, telescopes, or Los Angeles plastic surgeons, people are going to assume that aliens exist and walk among us.  While the passing of Michael Jackson lessened the ranks of true “believers” there will always be Americans who devote their lives to convincing you that aliens are real and are totally into butt stuff.  From the Battle of Los Angeles to Roswell, these (probably bearded.  Why are they always bearded?) Americans will point to numerous instances of aliens being seen in our skies.

Of course, everything comes bigger in Texas, and everything came crazier in the 1800s, so that’s why we’re going to examine one of the earlier instances of UFO spotting in America, as we discuss…

The Aurora, Texas UFO Incident Totally Existed (Just Stop Asking About It, Okay?)

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