“I’m not saying I am clearly a hit with the ladies, but…*points*”
~George Washington
George Washington was part warlock, part astronaut, and 100% American badass. His laser vision often destroyed waves upon waves of British soldiers, and his laser foresight vision helped blast a searing hole of plasma into the future to ensure that America could grow and become the country we know and love today. So it comes as little surprise that in 1832, after much hemming and hawing among baffling political parties who were “Anti-Washington,” our fine nation decided to commemorate the memory of one of our greatest founding fathers with a National monument in the form of the world’s largest penis obelisk penis.
This is the story of that giant erect phallus.


