“It’d take YOU a few weeks to do a write up too if you were recovering from a meat coma.”
~AFFotD’s Hot Dog Reporter
July 4th was a day with one of the most American traditions we can think of. Well, fireworks too, but mainly we’re talking about the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest. As you no doubt remember, AFFotD has chronicled the American ways of Competitive Eating, so it only seemed sporting that we let you know how this year’s Super Bowl of food competitions went. We hired a Hot Dog freelance writer to try to keep up with the competition, Hot Dog for Hot Dog. No, it wasn’t that Japanese guy that refused to sign a contract with the professional eating league and now complains about it when they don’t let him compete, our writer only lasted about 30 hot dogs until his stomach distended and he lapsed into a very literal coma. Ha ha, jokes on him, freelancers don’t get insurance, boo-ya!
Now whenever he closes his eyes this is all he sees.
As a result we have an inside scoop, and once he regained lucidity we were able to go to the presses and report on…
The AFFotD Rundown of the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest
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Posted in Hot Dogs, Hamburgers, Steaks
Tagged America, cupcakes, Eater X, Hot Dog, Japanese, Juliette Lee, Nathan's Hot Dog, Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest, Patrick Bertoletti, Red Lobster, Sonya "The Black Widow" Thomas, Tim Janus
“I demand to see men force foods down their stomach at dizzying speeds.”
~Marlon Brando (you know, after he sorta started ballooning up)
America has a fascination with overeating. Each day, we hear phrases that invoke our gastronomical upbringings, like “Put your money where your mouth is” “Stuff ‘em like a turkey” or “That sex was almost as good as eating a crate of pudding cups. Almost.”
Yes, Americans love to eat. Maybe it’s because our most fattening foods happen to be the cheapest and most delicious. Maybe it’s because humans evolved with food scarcity, and fat storage was once a sign of survival, which became conflated as a sign of affluence in impoverished nations where obesity is considered an outward indicator of success. Or maybe it’s shut the fuck up and eat, this is America dammit, SUEEEE-WEEEEEEE, SUEEEE-WEEEEEEEE.
So we at the America Fun Fact of the Day have grabbed our bibs, and our glasses of water for dunking, and are here to salute those proud Americans who make a living as Professional Competitive Eaters.
Haha, it says Shaggy Rodgers and Scooby Doo at the bottom. Well done, internet vigilantes.
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Posted in America's Best Foods
Tagged America, Badlands, Carson Daley, Competitive Eating, Eater X, Eric "Badlands" Booker, hot dogs, Jason "Crazy Legs" Conti, Jaws, Joey Chestnut, Marlon Brando, Nathan's Hot Dogs, Rich "The Locust" LeFevre, Ryan Theriot, Scooby Doo, Shaggy Rodgers, Sonya "The Black Widow" Thomas, The Black Widow, The Oregon Trail, Tim Janus