Tag Archives: Beef Jerky

MREs Will Outlast Anything in Your Kitchen

“Magic, science, magic, science, tomato paste.”

~Military scientists

America loves to eat what their heroes eat.  What’s the point of living in a Capitalistic society if you can’t buy the food that astronauts eat?  And while you can’t go out and purchase a “Firefighter’s Dinner” you can purchase a bottle of American Honey and drink it in your office’s broom closet at ten in the morning.  Which is why it is surprising that, of the various ways we can force our children to emulate our most American professions, you have to go on ebay if you want to buy our soldiers’ Field Rations.

Yes, MREs (Meal, Ready-to-Eat) have been around since 1981, and while some 99% of our population will never get to try them, we’ve spent more time and money perfecting these culinary taunting of the laws of physics than we did trying to make a pen that can write in space.

We normally would find these practically indestructible edibles pretty American on their own right, but it wasn’t until reading this article describing the Army’s efforts to create caffeinated beef jerky that we decided to have MREs jump the queue and get their own, personal Fun Fact.

MREs Will Outlast Anything in Your Kitchen

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Wendy’s Presents America Fun Fact of the Day 9/19- Beef Jerky Potato Chips

“We had a deal.  One reference of Wendy’s delicious food for every reference of a strange, crazy American food.  That was the deal.  That’s what we paid you for.  You don’t want the hose again, do you?”

~Wendy’s Executives

As we’ve discussed, in detail, previously, AFFotD sometimes has a tough time affording its excess alcohol and golden tennis racquets, and apparently the insurance company has stopped allowing us to put life insurance policies out on our Interns.  So, turning to the corporate realm, we’ve recently received financial backing from Wendy’s, who will sponsor every America Fun Fact of the Day about glorious, American foods.  Because nothing is more glorious than the Spicy Chicken Sandwich from Wendy’s!  Winter’s coming, so it’s time for you to bundle up and enjoy the original Spicy Chicken Sandwich.  You can have it with a side bowl of chili, French fries, or a baked potatoes, the possibilities are endless!

(Please help us.  Even their lawyers have guns.  Some of us have families.  Please.  Do something.)

Wendy’s is on the forefront of culinary technology, as evident by their deliciously American Baconator burger, and now they’re here to tell you, erm, have us tell you about the latest high point in American snacking!

Beef Jerky Potato Chips!  That’s not even sarcastic, we’re really excited about it.  Sweet Jesus that sounds great.  Erm, not as great as Wendy’s French Fries, now using all natural sea salt (Ugh.  Shoot us now).  But incredible nonetheless!

There is a God.  And he’s clearly American.

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