Wendy’s Presents America Fun Fact of the Day 9/19- Beef Jerky Potato Chips

“We had a deal.  One reference of Wendy’s delicious food for every reference of a strange, crazy American food.  That was the deal.  That’s what we paid you for.  You don’t want the hose again, do you?”

~Wendy’s Executives


As we’ve discussed, in detail, previously, AFFotD sometimes has a tough time affording its excess alcohol and golden tennis racquets, and apparently the insurance company has stopped allowing us to put life insurance policies out on our Interns.  So, turning to the corporate realm, we’ve recently received financial backing from Wendy’s, who will sponsor every America Fun Fact of the Day about glorious, American foods.  Because nothing is more glorious than the Spicy Chicken Sandwich from Wendy’s!  Winter’s coming, so it’s time for you to bundle up and enjoy the original Spicy Chicken Sandwich.  You can have it with a side bowl of chili, French fries, or a baked potatoes, the possibilities are endless!

(Please help us.  Even their lawyers have guns.  Some of us have families.  Please.  Do something.)

Wendy’s is on the forefront of culinary technology, as evident by their deliciously American Baconator burger, and now they’re here to tell you, erm, have us tell you about the latest high point in American snacking!

Beef Jerky Potato Chips!  That’s not even sarcastic, we’re really excited about it.  Sweet Jesus that sounds great.  Erm, not as great as Wendy’s French Fries, now using all natural sea salt (Ugh.  Shoot us now).  But incredible nonetheless!

There is a God.  And he’s clearly American.

Yes, Cherkees exists, and it’s so awesome their website, as of today, basically says “Woah, hold up there!  We’re working on increasing our capacity because too many people are American and recognize this thing as fucking incredible.”  And it is.

What?

Even now?  We…you seriously want us to say something Wendy’s now?  That’s totally going to kill the flow of the article if we have to praise Wendy’s every time we say something good about Cherkees.  No!  Nonono, don’t destroy our moonshine sill, we’ll play nice.  We’ll play nice.

Sigh.

It’s fucking incredible, just like the quality on the Wendy’s Everyday Value Menu, because there’s no reason why cheap can’t be amazing!

Don’t hurt us.

Cherkees are not beef jerky flavored potato chips.  Bear in mind, that itself would be an incredible idea.  Beef jerky flavored potato chips?  How is that not a thing!?

…Oh you’ve got to be kidding us.  Ugh.  “Just like Wendy’s Frosties.  How can fast food be so delicious.”  Can we continue now?  Thanks.

Instead, Cherkees are potato chips…made…out of beef jerky.  It’s fucking both.  Real bits of beef jerky are part of the potato chip.  So what you’re left with is an unholy delicious combination of the two.  It’s beef jerky that’s not chewy!  That’s the most beautiful thing we’ve ever heard of!

We who are about to die salute you.

…Okay so the Wendy’s executives are really harassing us to say something nice about them, but you know what?  We’re sick of this.  Fuck you, Wendy’s, you can’t control us like this, that wasn’t part of the dea…what?  No, stop it, we’re sorry we didn’t…

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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One response to “Wendy’s Presents America Fun Fact of the Day 9/19- Beef Jerky Potato Chips

  1. Pingback: The Informative American Presents: Buddy Holly, Destroyer of Morals (Originally published January, 1959) | affotd

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