Tag Archives: William Shakespeare

America Fun Fact of the Day 3/20- Hahahahahaha Oh We’re So Sorry

“Oh my god, those bastards!  They suck!”

~Everyone reading today’s fun fact

As the enterprising members of the America Fun Fact of the Day staff spend the next few weeks working on additional American projects, like a ray  gun that turns celery into donuts, or a gender-neutral sex machine that plays James Brown’s “Sex Machine” during copulation, you may have noticed a drop off in production lately.  And it’s understandable that you are upset, you all pay a very high price to be the first daily receivers of the America Fun Fact of the Day.  We have all your credit cards on file, as you no doubt have noticed the surprisingly expensive charges to “Xing Xia’s Massage” that have been popping up on your credit card bills.  How does one massage cost 500 bucks?  It’s all part of the creative process, you wouldn’t understand.

So, as a huge “fuck you” to you, the loyal readers…today’s Fun Fact will be a fucking clip show.  That’s right, just a clipboard of the greatest America Fun Fact of the Day moments of the past few months.

You see, clip shows are the most American form of entertainment.  It’s backhanded, which is the best way Americans like to deal with things (can I get a “How?” from my Indian brothers and sisters out there?  Ha, see what I did there?), and it’s incredible lazy, which is, all together now, American.  As with any clip show, we’ll add some thematic additions to each bit, but really, the writers just crapped this out in like 10 minutes, because what the hell.

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William Shakespeare’s American Past

“It’s almost the weekend, so everybody better fucking rage.”

~William Shakespeare, Hamlet- Act 6, scene 14

At the America Fun Fact of the Day, we sometimes have to recognize our roots.  It’s a painful experience that every one on staff remembers vividly, when we first found out that America has not been around forever.  For most of us, we finally accepted this fact by the time we were 18, but that doesn’t make it sting any less.  In Elementary school, we would say with scorn, “Oh, the pilgrims were English?  Go ahead, pull the other one, it plays Ave Maria.”  In Middle School, we would say, “We don’t have time to listen about ‘Mesopotamia,’ we’re going to taste-test the difference between 12-year-old and 15-year-old Bourbon.”  We’re not legally allowed to discuss our reaction to this information in High School, because juvenile records are sealed, but you get the picture.

We’re not saying we started this…but that’d be impressive, right?

But when you let go of your preconceived notions, you can recognize all the reasons why America is so great.  So, when we found out that all those damn fancy word plays we were reading were actually by a British dude, we were pissed.  Until we dug a little deeper, and found the American roots…of William Shakespeare.


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