“Oh my god, those bastards! They suck!”
~Everyone reading today’s fun fact
As the enterprising members of the America Fun Fact of the Day staff spend the next few weeks working on additional American projects, like a ray gun that turns celery into donuts, or a gender-neutral sex machine that plays James Brown’s “Sex Machine” during copulation, you may have noticed a drop off in production lately. And it’s understandable that you are upset, you all pay a very high price to be the first daily receivers of the America Fun Fact of the Day. We have all your credit cards on file, as you no doubt have noticed the surprisingly expensive charges to “Xing Xia’s Massage” that have been popping up on your credit card bills. How does one massage cost 500 bucks? It’s all part of the creative process, you wouldn’t understand.
So, as a huge “fuck you” to you, the loyal readers…today’s Fun Fact will be a fucking clip show. That’s right, just a clipboard of the greatest America Fun Fact of the Day moments of the past few months.
You see, clip shows are the most American form of entertainment. It’s backhanded, which is the best way Americans like to deal with things (can I get a “How?” from my Indian brothers and sisters out there? Ha, see what I did there?), and it’s incredible lazy, which is, all together now, American. As with any clip show, we’ll add some thematic additions to each bit, but really, the writers just crapped this out in like 10 minutes, because what the hell.