“Gahhh habal heaeg gwaaarrrrk!”
~That Smelly Guy on the Bus
Every nation has its levels of despondency, where the rich and the poor are separated by a nearly impossible chasm of social status. Some are fortunate enough to have riches beyond our wildest hopes and dreams, while others are forced to live on the streets, trying to find or get enough money to scrape by. In nations such as Italy, the homeless bow down in silent penance, hoping for a kind stranger to hear their wordless plea.
But fuck that noise, America does it right. That’s right, America is home to the craziest sons of bitches you’ve ever seen homeless. There is a rich history of American crazy homeless people, the best of whom have quirky names and known habits. The University of Illinois, for example, has a homeless character named The Rebel. Northwestern has an overweight homeless person named “Big” who the rest of the homeless population despises. And of course, there is shoeshine Lenny, who rides on a bike to inform you that he is shoeshine Lenny, and he doesn’t have any, but if you help him out, someday, we’ll all have plenty.
These people breath a special brand of crazy that only America can breed, and today, America Fun Fact of the Day salutes them.
At ease, hobo.
