“I’m so glad I mandated that the whole staff had to watch the complete series of The Wire.”
~Tom Selleck, AFFotD TV Critic
Illustrations by Jesse Lenz because dayumnnnn
Lawyers, especially defense attorneys, tend to get a bad rap. In a scientific study of five random people outside our offices, 60% of America’s population believe that there are more lawyer jokes than Hellen Keller, dead baby, and Polish jokes combined. The rest of America is evenly split between “Can I get some money for some booze” and “Aren’t you those assholes that keep making ungodly noises from the building all night long?”
What’s wrong with that? This is the way we unwind a the end of a long day.
But really, is that fair? It’s not like we have defense attorneys in, say, Jersey just running around, supervising prostitution rings and arranging for witness’s murders or anything…ohhhhhh.
Yeah Paul Bergrin was basically the lawyer in the wire.
“Prrrrfftt plabber prrrftt sorry my glorious mustache was in my mouth, you see.”
Every great war leaves behind a cultural legacy. The Vietnam War spurned on counter-culture and PTSD. World War II developed and hardened the so-called “Greatest Generation.” The Korean War led to M*A*S*H*. The impact of these conflicts have been scorched into our memory, making irreplaceable connections in our minds. So, while we were riffling through the Smithsonian website looking for blueprints (we heard they have the Fonzie’s jacket there, and we fucking want it) we stumbled across this little item regarding the Civil War. Because, when you think of the Civil War, clearly the one thing you associate with it is slavery glorious facial hair.
We were going to do a fun fact on the importance of office safety, ever since we had to send [REDACTED] to the hospital when he started shouting, “GONZO JOURNALISM” and licking our supply of poison arrow frogs, but really, we figure this is more important. So, let’s rate some facial hair, everyone.
Posted in America's Greatest Fun Facts, Fighters
Tagged Adelbert Ames, Alexander Shaler, Alpheus Williams, Ambrose Burnside, America, Andrew Johnson, Anton Chigurh, Cavalry, Cheers, Civil War, Cliff, Family Guy, J.E.B. Stuart, Jeff Bridges, Jim Henson, John Haskell King, John McAllister Schofield, John Worden, Koren War, M*A*S*H*, Muppet, Mustache, NASCAR, No Country for Old men, Peter Griffin, Playmobile, Potato Chips, PTSD, Rear Admiral, Redacted, Ridiculous Mustaches, Ringo, Samuel Carroll, Sideburns, Smithsonian, The Fonz, The Village People, Tom Selleck, Vietnam War, Wikipedia, World War II