“What do you mean I’m not ‘allowed’ to quit!?”
Two weeks ago, we took an investigative reporter, whose name we had to redact for obvious reasons, and let him loose in a Vegan restaurant. Last week, we felt like we had to make it up to him, so we gave him a night full of whiskey and boots. Of course, we also tricked him into signing a contract making him our permanent fixture as an investigative journalist. Oh, and he can’t sue us, no matter what stresses we put him through. So we figured we’d do the American thing…and abuse our new found freedom. Enjoy writing a review of a game of Cricket, [REDACTED], you jackass.